Ramblings of an Ignorant Soul

Goodbye, Whitney Elizabeth.

2012-02-14T11:07:00.000-05:00

When I was about thirteen or fourteen years old, I was a huge Whitney Houston fan. I was a member of her fan club for a year after My Love is Your Love came out, and even through all of her struggles personally, I was able to enjoy her body of work without letting the bad parts of her cloud that original image in my mind.

I follow the celebrity world so closely that I did not find out as early as some people about her death. I've been so busy, and the day it happened I had been helping my sister and her family move into a new apartment. I had to take something over to my aunt and uncle's house that evening, and their big screen is visible from the front door. So as soon as I open the door, before I even say hello, I see on CNN "Whitney Houston 1963-2012" and I felt my heart fall into my stomach. I have so many memories that are tied in closely with celebrity events that there are not a lot of them I remember vividly. I do remember the exact moment I found out John Ritter died and the exact moment I found out Rue McClanahan died, and I'm sure this memory of Whitney's death will always stick out in my mind as well. Even three days later, I cannot get Whitney out of my head.

In middle and high school, before I got into Stevie Nicks, I had seven women that I adored. Of course Bette and Meryl were two of them; there was also Susan Sarandon, Shirley MacLaine, Mimi Rogers, Joan Cusack, and Whitney. I doodled their names like a little schoolgirl and was always coming up with different ways to arrange their initials to make some sort of anagram to discreetly put their names on my notebooks without seeming like a total weirdo. I felt a connection to Whitney because our birthdays were just a few days apart and because we had the same middle name. To me, she was THE voice. I mean, don't get me wrong. I adore Bette, but for actual vocal ability, Whitney blew everyone else out of the water. Such talent, such control. No one else will ever touch her in my mind.

So today I'm listening to Whitney, remembering what she meant to me, and remembering what a fantastic spirit she had before her life was taken over by drugs. As corny as it is, and as many people as have already said this, I will always love you, Whitney.

I'd like to thank the Academy.

2012-01-16T16:55:00.000-05:00

You are not going to believe this, but I did not watch the Golden Globes this year.

I used to follow the Hollywood awards season like nobody's business. I would watch the E! pre-shows all day leading up to the awards ceremonies. The Golden Globes and Oscars especially, but often the Emmys and Grammys as well. (Never got into the Tonys, as I was not very familiar with current Broadway plays, and still don't stay terribly well-informed.) But being without cable has really messed with my awards traditions. In fact, I was unsure of how I was going to watch the Globes anyway, but I forgot about them until about an hour in and by that point it seemed irrelevant. I mean, the whole reason for watching is to see the gowns, right?

Being as how at this point in my life I have basically given up on any dreams I ever had of being famous/semi-famous, I suppose now is as good a time as any to compose my useless Academy Award acceptance speech.

"Wow. I know people say all the time that they have dreamt of this moment since they were a kid, but I really have. I really have, I swear. Ask my mom and she'll tell you. I'll give you her phone number after the show. You can find me in the bathroom. I'm talking to you, Clooney.

Wow, okay, focus. I have to thank my family, especially my parents, who have done a lot to help me out over the years. I have to credit the love of my life, Bette Midler, who has made me want to be a better, more talented person. Thanks to my co-stars, director, and all the writers involved with *insert project name here*. Thanks to the Academy. Most importantly, I have to thank myself, without whom none of this would be possible. I have been my rock and my inspiration for so many years. Thanks, me! Oh, and thanks to Streep for not being nominated this year! Goodnight!"

Long time. Long time no see, huh?

2012-01-16T16:15:00.000-05:00

I felt bad for slacking on my posts, until I logged onto Blogger to see that none of the blogs I currently follow have been updated in at least two months. Glad to see I'm not the only lazy DOB out there. (DOB - daughter of a bitch)

I have been busy almost constantly for the last six weeks. I've been driving back and forth from Lexington to Campbellsville, or Lexington to Lousiville, or any combination of those locales, a lot recently so I feel like I've hardly had time for myself. My nieces are still in the hospital but are doing great. They still receive some milk via feeding tube, so they can't come home until they're able to take 100% of their milk by bottle, but they are progressing nicely in this area. They've both also put on over a pound since birth and should both hopefully be a little over four pounds when they come home, which may or may not be at the same time.

We have all been incredibly blessed over the last six weeks to receive so much love, support, and prayers from people who will never really even be involved in the girls' lives. It's amazing how small communities pull together in times of crisis.

This past weekend was stressful. We had finally rescheduled the baby shower for Saturday the 14th, and so in order to get down there and start preparing for that, I went to Campbellsville after work Thursday evening. Unfortunately the road conditions were not good and my usual hour-and-a-half trip was stretched out to 2 hours and 20 minutes. It was agony and made me never want to get in a car again. But the baby shower went well, and I got to spend quite a bit of time at the hospital during the day on Friday, so all in all I would say it was a good weekend. I am exhausted, though, and I feel like this day of work has gone on forever.

Life's still throwing curveballs.

2011-12-06T17:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I am an aunt now!

My sister was due on February 23rd, but had to have an emergency Caeserean on December 2nd. The girls were 12 weeks early and seem to be doing fine now. They are both off of ventilators and able to have milk. Let me just say it has been a stressful few days! We were supposed to have their baby shower on the 3rd, so needless to say that will have to be rescheduled. I guess we can have a "Welcome Home" party once they get back from the hospital.

I spent four days in and out of the hospital with my sister, so I am pretty pooped. It's crazy how you have a milestone come in your life that you have thought out and imagined how it will be in your head, and then it turns out completely differently. Things could have ended up so much worse.

2011-11-29T14:50:00.000-05:00

If 1 out of every 10 men is gay, and 95% of all straight men are either idiots, jerks, or married (and these categories are not all inclusive), then that leaves less than 5% of the male population over the entire globe for me to choose from as a possible mate.

I guess I will be alone.

Patti LaBelle lawsuit

2011-11-16T19:26:00.002-05:00

Has anybody else seen this shit?

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/patti-labelle-sued-west-point-cadet-houston-airport/story?id=13752701

Doesn't look like an "unprovoked" attack to me.

Bah humbug!

2011-11-14T17:07:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling my posts will become more and more scarce after the holidays and the arrival of my nieces than they already are. Nobody really reads this blog anyway, not but a handful of people, and there are some people that would read it if they knew about it - but those are people that I'd rather not have knowing it exists. My private thoughts, and even my thoughts that I share out in Blog World, are not thoughts that many people I know would appreciate very much. This is mostly because these are thoughts they wouldn't understand or agree with. As technologically advance as our culture is, and as tapped in to society as most people in my generation tend to be, there are still a lot of judgmental and intolerant people out there.

I love my family dearly, but there are members of my extended family that I have different philosophies than. I mean, I know that's going to happen. I get it. But how can people brought up in the same belief system with the same general values have such different ideas about things?

I am so sick of the Christmas holiday and its commercialization. When a child cries because they didn't get as many gifts as their cousin/sibling, or when adults can't NOT buy gifts for one another in financial hardship for fear of ruining the "Christmas experience" for their child, things have gone entirely too far. When I was a kid, we enjoyed just getting together with one another for Christmas. I always got gifts that I wanted/liked, and my parents had taught my sister and myself how to appreciate the finer things in life. We didn't get gifts "just because"; my parents were too busy making sure we had clean, intact clothing on our backs and food in our bellies. I didn't need the newest gifts or the most advanced gifts, because I knew how to use my imagination with my toys. My sister and I played with dolls and created stories for them. Every week we wrote our own Barbie soap operas. We dressed up and pretended to be literary/film characters. Sure, we occassionally played video games, but they did not consume us. As a child, I loved to read. How many kids these days actually pick up books when it's not required of them?

I never wanted to be one of those "old fogeys" who reminisced about the "good ol' days", but I just cannot understand, as a twenty-something who both knows how to use technology and how to be creative, how things have changed so drastically since my childhood. Many people my age claim they do not want to bring children into this world because of all of the bad things in it. On the contrary, I want to bring children into this world in order to help bring something good back. I cannot wait to instill the values I find important in my children, in hopes that they will then pass on the same values into theirs. I may disagree with my parents on a lot, but they taught me how to appreciate what I have and how to work hard, and those are values I will never wish I didn't have.

And baby makes 22.

2011-11-08T12:12:00.000-05:00

On Today this morning, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar announced that they are expecting their 20th kid in March.

Michelle is 45 years old.

I don't care how much you love children. What these people are doing is crazy. It's unsafe. This woman is putting her life at risk all because she's going to let God dictate the number of children she has. Jesus, woman. If you're not going to be on birth control, at least make your husband pull out!

Click here to watch the foolery.

Baby Fever

2011-10-25T15:21:00.000-04:00

I have been having a lot of dreams about babies lately, either me having one or someone else. My mom thinks this is because of my sister being pregnant and all of us having baby on the brain. She's right about me having baby on the brain. But I have baby on the brain partly because I am really wanting one myself. I am now making it my mission to have a baby before I turn 31. I will do artificial insemination if need be, but I am also willing to go natural donor as well. Would I want the biological father's assistance or involvement? I don't know. I haven't really thought that all the way through yet. But I figure I have a little time to figure this out.

NY & PA trip

2011-10-17T13:46:00.001-04:00

Sorry, I meant to post this a week ago, but got caught up in other things. This is about a trip I took on the 5th-7th of this month.

It's back to work for me after a five-day mini vacay, three days of which were spent on a lovely excursion to Pennsylvania and southwestern New York State.

Wednesday morning my friend Jade and I left Lexington and headed north. We drove across the breadth of Ohio, going through Cleveland to get to Pennsylvania. Making a short stop along the way for a roadside attraction accompanied by lunch, we made it to our destination in roughly eight hours. We were staying at a little bed and breakfast in North East, PA, so we checked in there and unloaded our luggage before we decided to venture around town a little. We went to one winery called Mazza Vineyards and enjoyed some samples there. We walked around near our B&B and just enjoyed the quaint town. We ended up eating at a little local diner called Johnny B's that had a nice setup and good food. I had a delicious club sandwich with french fries. We retired early with a game of Scrabble.

Thursday we enjoyed an amazing breakfast before heading out. We had blueberry gingerbread, a roasted peach drizzled with raspberry puree, and "Captain's Scramble", which was sort of a quiche with three kinds of cheese, peppers, and mushrooms. I also had cranberry pomegranate juice and coffee. After that it was off to Jamestown!

Jamestown, NY is the birthplace of Lucille Ball, and somewhere I've wanted to visit for years. It's a cute little tourist town, and we had a wonderful lunch at the Taco Hut. I was disappointed, however, that you weren't allowed to take pictures in either the Lucy-Desi Museum, or the Desilu Playhouse. But the museums were very neat, and it only cost $15 to go to both. (Normally, I'm not averse to sneaking pictures when they're not allowed, but they had security cameras and that made me a little nervous.) We drove past both the home that Lucy was born in and the house she grew up in, which was in nearby Celoron and just a couple blocks from Lake Chautauqua. We also visited the cemetary where her ashes were interred, and where several members of her mother's family are buried. After that we stopped briefly at a consignment store for kid/baby items, and then went to a little roadside farmer's market-type store. I bought a crotcheted bookmark, two Gala apples, and a mini pumpkin.

After Jamestown, we doubled back past North East and stopped in Erie. Jade really wanted to see a lighthouse, so we drove out on this little peninsula jutting out into the lake called Presque Isle. We drove around for a while, and it was very beautiful there. There were some really cool rocks on the beach, but the two lighthouses we saw were smaller than anticipated and we were a little disappointed. From there we looked around for somewhere to eat, but the place in our guidebook that we wanted to go was closed, so we ended up just stopping at KFC because we were so hungry by that point.

Back in North East, we both showered and then played a round of Huggermugger. It was this really cool game that was basically an English major's dream. It was all about words. Definitions, spelling, rhyming; it was a really fun and unique game that we had never heard of, let alone played before. Then it was off to bed.

Friday morning before checking out, we had apple pie to start out our breakfast. Next was a fruit bowl of bananas and both green and yellow kiwi. I had yeast waffles for breakfast. They were very light but crunchy. That time I had coffee and superfruit juice. Off to Cleveland we went! We went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame which was really cool, but we were also not allowed to take pictures there. They had a "Women Who Rock" exhibit filled with costumes worn by female artists (duh). Underneath the Stevie Nicks stage outfit, they had some incorrect information, which I e-mailed the museum later to let them know about. They said they would correct their mistake "as soon as possible", but who knows if they actually did.

After Cleveland, we detoured through some more rural parts of Ohio to get to another roadside attraction, before getting back home around 11:15 that evening. It was a great trip, although I wish it had been longer. I was glad to get this in, considering it might be the last trip I get to take in a while.

Edit: I forgot to mention eating at Lola Bistro in Cleveland, where I had a roasted turkey sandwich with a parsnip curry soup, and coconut-prickly pear sorbet for dessert. One of the best meals of my life.

Idiocy abounds!

2011-09-23T17:47:00.000-04:00

I had what I suppose you could call a tiff with someone on Facebook yesterday. Both are guys that know my sister, and I know one of them as well. Let's call the one I know A and the other B.

Guy A posts a photo of a billboard on his page. It was an anti-Obama billboard. He and Guy B did a little back and forth "that's so funny", when I decided to say that if Guy A didn't want peoples' opinion of him to be negatively affected, he should probably refrain from political or religious posts on Facebook. At this point, Guy B, whom I only know by name and who doesn't know me either, begins to talk about how Americans are too tolerant of other people's beliefs and how that even though Christians founded our nation, Christians are the only group who are portrayed consistently negatively in the media. This goes on for a while. Then Guy A jumps back in and says that if I don't like the way our country is run, I should move away and start my own country because that is not the USA that he lives in.

Okay. Wow, right? So I say, "Whoa guys, thanks for blowing that out of proportion and assuming I'm anti-American and anti-Christian." Of course, they both try to blow off their tirades as merely being passionate discussion. I encouraged that if they really wanted to make a difference in a government they find such fault in, they should not blame a single entity (a President) for something that a body of people (Congress) are really to blame for. I suggested getting more involved in state and local government to create a ripple effect.

The reason I even bring this up at all is because, with last night's events in mind, I read something on Guy A's Facebook page today that I found to be incredibly humorous. This guy is really into cars, specifically Hondas, and his post was about how he would never buy "that American-made crap". This may not fit the definition of irony, but I think the word certainly fits.

pity party

2011-09-01T18:54:00.000-04:00

Update from previous post:

At the time, I recognized the opportunity I got by being able to make physical contact with Stevie Nicks. However, two days after the concert, it hit me that I actually got to touch Stevie Nicks, one of my two favorite people on the face of the earth and someone that I idolize. I can tell that story for years to come when I play Fleetwood Mac's music for my children.

Oh, and I left "Landslide" off the setlist. Um, duh.

And on to the new!

I have realized that I am not the kind of person who has very much self control. I impulse buy frequently, I spend money on things like trips and concert tickets before I really have said money, and I also have a small problem of not being able to stop drinking once I get started.

Don't get me wrong; sometimes I can. But when I'm really stressed out and people are passing around alcohol and I'm not paying for it, I forget how much I've had and get a little carried away. I don't just like alcohol because I can "forget my troubles" while drinking it. I also enjoy the non-mental relaxation that comes with drinking. I carry my stress very heavily in my body, and I feel myself loosen up physically when I've had a little alcohol, and it's a feeling I don't want to go away. I also have the problem of trying to keep up with those I'm drinking with. 90% of the time this includes men, or women that weigh more than I do. They keep drinking, so I keep drinking. Fortunately I've been very lucky and end up very close to home or with a place to crash when this happens.

The only reason I bring this up is because of the fact that I recently took some of my anguish out on my sister while I was drinking. I complained about no one really caring about me, because that's how I often feel. I know I have people that care about me, but I am not the most important person in anyone's life and that sometimes gets me a little depressed. Plus, and I'm just gonna say this right now and be completely honest with, well, whoever's there: I am jealous of my sister.

My sister has always done things at an earlier age than me. I may have done things first, but she was younger than I was when she experienced these firsts. She went to her first concert before I ever went to one (something I am responsible for, seeing as we needed three tickets to said concert and by the time we purchased, only two could be bought together, and it was a group she liked way more than I did). She dated before me, had sex at a younger age than me. She even had a later curfew than I did. When I was 18 and out of high school, still living at home, my curfew was 11:00. Before she graduated high school and while she was dating, hers was 11:30. Now she's going to become a mother before me. I hate that I have spent so much time and money trying to get my life in order, only for her to have all of the things I want long before I will ever have them. It's frustrating and makes me feel like I've done nothing. I'm 26 years old and have nothing to show for it, except a bunch of freaking debt.

Strange, she runs from the one she can't keep up with.

2011-08-22T09:55:00.000-04:00

Things have been rolling along in my life. Sometimes I feel like nothing's happening, and sometimes I feel like a steamroller is on my heels, threatening to crush everything around me at any moment.

I was supposed to have been on a trip to Pennsylvania and New York about a week and a half ago, but due to circumstances beyond my control, my travel companion and I had to reschedule. So I have another six weeks or so until that trip happens. But plenty of things have been happening. I had a decent birthday celebration, both with my self-consumed extended family and with my generous and wonderful friends.

Two days ago, I went to a Stevie Nicks concert in Cincinnati, OH totally and completely alone. It wasn't bad, seeing as how it's not that long of a drive from here. There was some road work that put me getting there later than I had hoped, but I was still there a good 40 minutes before the show. The opening act, Michael Grimm, was really talented and I enjoyed his short set. I was seventh row in the center pit, just left of center stage. It was a great seat and I was really excited to be there. I got my camera in with no issue and managed to get some pretty good pictures from my seat, although they weren't great because my arm kept shaking and I couldn't hold the camera still. During a guitar solo toward the end of "Edge of Seventeen", a bunch of fans got to rush the stage and I was right up front. Stevie always does a walk during this portion of the song and shakes hands with audience members. She didn't shake my hand because the hands directly behind me were higher (fucking tall people), but I managed to touch the top of her hand as she was shaking a hand just to the right of me. It wasn't as magical as I thought it would be, but she was right there, and I couldn't not touch her after she passed me. I would've regretted missing that opportunity, and I am so glad I didn't have to.

She looked and sounded great, and it was really cool getting to hear the newer songs live. This was the fourth time I've seen her live, including twice with Fleetwood Mac. I don't remember the exact order of the songs and I may be missing one or two, but here's a rough setlist from the night.

Stand Back
Secret Love
Dreams
Moonlight (A Vampire's Dream)
Gold Dust Woman
Soldier's Angel
Annabel Lee
For What It's Worth
Rhiannon
Ghosts Are Gone
Edge of Seventeen
Love Is

Oh baby!

2011-07-27T14:51:00.000-04:00

For anyone who reads this blog and actually knows me, this is probably news you've already heard. For anyone else, well, if you care, here goes.

My younger sister is 10 weeks pregnant with twins. Obviously, as her older sister I am concerned about her. I worry about her health and comfort level, and the health of the babies. She's not unhealthy, but she's a really picky eater, and I want to be sure the babies are getting all the nutrients they need. I got her some prenatal vitamins with DHA, so hopefully that's going to be a good enough start.

My initial thoughts about the situation were purely stressful. My sister and her husband are not in the best financial situation. Of course, my mother will be able to provide free childcare so that is a major load off their shoulders, but they'll have to move into a bigger apartment and my brother-in-law will have to get a better job. I feel partially responsible for my family. Yes, I moved away, and that separates me from them somewhat. But at the same time, if they ever needed anything, I would feel like it was up to me to help them out. I'm not rolling in money myself, but I get by, and if money got really tight I could get a second job, move into a smaller apartment, or get a piece of junk car instead of the nice one (well, it started out nice) that I have now. I'm comfortable enough, and I don't need financial assistance. Babies are a major expense, and the fact that they have the equivalent of one decent-paying full-time job between the two of them worries me.

Before I had time to truly get over my initial worry, we found out there are two babies instead of one. This means he has to get another job and they have to move into a bigger apartment. No question. I just hope he will step up soon. These babies are going to be well taken care of and incredibly loved, and as worried as I was at first, I am now as excited. I have been fighting my own biological clock for a little while now. I am neither in a financial situation nor in a relationship conducive to child-rearing, but I want children very badly. The fact that I'm going to be able to be around my sister's children so much is going to help me sate my own maternal desires.

I have this major problem about worrying about things that are beyond my control. I need to just relax and let them do what they are going to do, but there are children involved now, and I want them to have the best life possible. I just have to hope everything works out, and I will help as much as I can or as much as I am needed to. Mostly I'm just excited about being an aunt and watching these children grow. I have to focus on that.

Don Jacobs Paint and Body sucks.

2011-07-13T16:21:00.000-04:00

Remember all of my car drama in December and January? Yeah, well, I have something to add to it now.

After all that mess where it took so long to get my car back from the body shop and they gave me a coupon for free detailing, I finally took it up there to take advantage of the offer. I got up at 6 this morning and dropped the car off at 7:30. I was in the parking lot before they unlocked the doors. Issue was, I had to be at work at 7:30. So, I had to wait there in the lobby for their shuttle service because, well, I have no one that I can ask to come give me a ride at 7:30 in the morning. I waited there until 10 after 8 and had to ride in a van with six strangers, three of whom got dropped off before me. I didn't get to work until almost nine. I went to pick up my car at 3:00. It was nice and shiny on the outside and I could tell it had been washed and the tires cleaned, but once I got inside I was unsure the job had been done properly. After I got back to work, having checked a few things by glancing while sitting at stoplights, I ensured that, not only had the job not been done properly, it had not been done at all. How could I tell? Well, there was a soda stain in my cupholder, hair on the seats (both cat and mine), and a French fry under the passenger seat. Guess what? Those things were all still there.

Here is the e-mail complaint that I wrote to the dealership:

I had my vehicle repaired at your paint and body shop in December/January. When I picked up my vehicle, I was very displeased with the appearance of the interior. There was paint dust inside and it was clear it had not been cleaned as well as it should have been considering the extensive amount of damage that had been done to my car. My estimator, Tim, gave me a coupon for free detailing for me to use at a later date. I took my car in for this today. When I picked the car up, the outside was nice and clean and my wheels were shiny, but I didn't think the interior had been cleaned as well as it should have been. Sure enough, when I got to my destination I discovered the French fry that had been dropped under my passenger seat was still there.

Seeing as how I paid nothing for either my body work or the detailing, I don't suppose I have any right to complain, but my vehicle initially was in your dealership's posession for five weeks and now you have had it an additional six hours for the detailing. I find the cleanliness of my car to be appalling considering the time wasted at your dealership. I just wanted my complaint to be heard so that you can correct this for future business: future business that absolutely will not be provided by me, as I will never visit your dealership in any capacity again.

So, for anyone who gives a rat's ass, in support of me and my frustration, do not ever visit Don Jacobs Paint and Body in Lexington, KY. Thank you.

I yam who I yam and that's all that I yam.

2011-06-30T19:49:00.000-04:00

Hello! My name is Lora and I am a control freak. I think everything should turn out a certain way and when it doesn't I get all freaked out. I think that I am responsible for being the one to take care of everybody, so if you do something I don't think you should, I am going to help you try and "fix" it. I think that everything has a reason for happening, and that if all you do is take life as it comes, you are not living it to its full potential. I also think that you should be constantly trying to better yourself and your situation, so I get pissed off if you are completely content with your life the way that it is, especially when your life is spent with you being poor and undereducated when I think you deserve more than that. I am bossy and particular.

If you don't like it, go away, 'cause I ain't changin'.

The Untalented Miss Riggs

2011-06-20T15:58:00.000-04:00

I am good at nothing. This is something that I am finally coming to terms with. All my life, I've always thought I was special. I partially blame my parents for that. But due to thinking I was special, I always thought that eventually, I would be able to do something great with my life.

The very first thing I truly thought I could be good at was acting. I've always been a little overdramatic, and that's part of it, but I am ruled totally by emotion. Isn't that what acting is all about? Tapping into your emotions to portray a character? Why couldn't I do that? I've been practicing my whole life. I create monologues about characters that aren't entirely unlike myself, and I'm always able to evoke tears when the time calls for them. Of course I can act! But that dream died when no one supported it.

Then I tried to convince myself that I was a great singer. My experiences haven't totally gone against this theory either. I was the section leader my last two years of choir in high school, and I had multiple solos and feature parts throughout the years. But I have never heard anyone tell me my voice has brought them to tears, or even evoked emotions from them. I've been complimented on my voice, but to be a great singer, one has to make others feel the lyrics. I don't suppose I can do this. So this dream sort of faded away.

One thing I do know without a doubt that I'm good at is putting others before myself. I have let people mock me and belittle me and not fought back because I didn't want people to get upset with me. I am a good friend. I put others desires before my own, and I don't ask for anything in return except the attention that it requires to even allow me to be in those peoples' presence. I want to take care of people, and I want to please them. But the problem is that this one aspect of my life that I actually show strength in is my greatest weakness. In my last blog, I spoke about the hatred that I had been feeling in the weeks prior. I think that a lot of the reason I was so angry was because I got tired of the way people were making me feel so inconsequential, but in reality I set myself up for that in the first place. How should I expect others to respect me or care about me if I can't even give myself the same courtesy?

But old habits die hard, and it's going to be really difficult for me to change behaviors that I've been carrying on for a dozen years or more. Being more outspoken and telling people what I want from them is one of the things I've been trying recently, but I have a bad feeling that prior events have pushed some people that I care about out of my life completely. I do believe that there are people that care about me, but most don't care about me enough to do the kind of work that will keep me close. I enjoy having lots of friends, but I've always been the kind of person that would rather have a few really close friends than a lot of casual acquaintances.

So, in conclusion, I guess what I'm saying is the only thing I'm good at is being a doormat.

2011-05-23T20:59:00.000-04:00

The last few weeks of my life, I have basically hated myself. I've hated my job, the person I've become, the excuses I make for not changing things in my life. If it's there, I've hated it. I have always had vague goals that I was working toward to improve myself. But apparently somewhere along the way, I either got derailed from these goals, or they changed so drastically that they got lost in everything else that was going on inside of me. There's still part of me that thinks I maybe need to be on medication. I have this really bad habit of getting mad about something, letting it fester inside of me while I pretend I'm not mad, then I get so furious that I explode. Sometimes I explode on other people. When I was growing up, this tended to be my sister. I don't ever mean to hurt people, but when this rage finally ends up bursting out of me, someone in its path always gets battle wounds. This weekend I blew up, and not in a private way. I blew up in front of a bunch of people at a really inopportune time. The worst part: I was drunk and don't remember exactly what I blew up about. Fortunately, today I have felt less stress and anger than I have in a really long time, so I guess it was good that I got to purge. It just sucks the way that it happened. I apologized to people who fell in the path of my rage. That's all I can do, because I cannot take it back. But honestly, right now all I want to do is run away from anything and anybody in my life and completely start all over, and in some place completely and utterly random, like Idaho. I can't correct mistakes I've made, and people may not be able to forget them, but if I were to have a clean slate, maybe I wouldn't feel like I was such a demented piece of garbage.

Relax, go to it.

2011-05-06T19:22:00.000-04:00

I will never live a stress-free life.

I can't. My mind won't let me. If I'm not stressed about money, I'm stressed about my health (needlessly, mind you). If it's not that, it's my relationship status (or lack thereof). I just can't win, and I don't understand it. Am I afraid of being happy? Am I preventing myself from relaxing, or has my life up to now conditioned me to believe that a new stressful situation is just around the corner, so I don't relax out of routine? I'm not saying I never relax at all. There are fleeting moments, where all of the stars align and the feng shui is just so, and I can have a few hours of sheer bliss. But then the worry of another day at work, or another day of tightening the pursestrings in order to eat, comes along, and I'm back to square one. Vacation is incredibly helpful in all this. Any time I'm away from home/work/family, I can totally chill out. I don't think about what has to be done when I get home, or worry about what's coming out of my next paycheck. Any time I'm away from Kentucky, I feel totally uninhibited.

It's kind of funny, though. Right now I'm in the middle of planning three trips over the course of the next three months. One hotel stay is paid for, but the rest of my expenses have yet to be covered, and I am totally freaking out over it. Usually I just charge it and worry about it later, but my credit cards are all maxed out. (Thanks, new bite guard. Thanks, new eyeglasses.) I could nix a trip, but I have been looking so forward to them all, and there's one I absolutely can't get out of. I'm stressing about planning something that is going to allow me to destress. Ironic.

Thankfully I have this new Stevie Nicks album to help me through. Otherwise I'd be a total nutcase right now.

Poo on you, Paste Magazine.

2011-05-05T13:35:00.000-04:00

Here's another review of In Your Dreams that I take issue with. Specifically, the part I have a problem with is the part that calls "Wide Sargasso Sea," "a corny, overcooked tale of fading beauty, tarnished lust, and backfiring arson." If anyone is to blame for the cheesiness of "Wide Sargasso Sea," it is the screenwriters of the film that inspired the song. If people did their research, then I think the reviews would be a little more positive. You have to put the music into context. Stevie Nicks songs are not stand-alone. They are always part of something else.

This article is another that mentions the changes in Stevie's voice. Don't make me reiterate my previous post, people. I mean, to insult the voice of someone like Whitney Houston, who has squandered her talent the last ten years and has allowed her vocal cords to be damaged by hard living and drug use, is one thing. But to insult a 60-year-old woman's voice for natural aging is pathetic. Yes, Stevie's voice is far different than it was 30 years ago. I'll give you that. And yes, some of the damage was caused by drug use and hard living. However, everyone knew that going into this album. Stevie's voice is, if anything, better than it was on her last album. She has been working hard at maintaining her voice. She has a vocal coach, which is something she never had in the '70s and '80s, because she realizes now - after all of her life experience - that a beautiful voice is a gift. It is a blessing that has been received that can easily be taken away. Just ask Julie Andrews. As a matter of fact, ask Stevie herself, who had doctors tell her in the late '80s that she was lucky she could still sing at all thanks to all the cocaine she put up her nose.

She has a dime-sized hole in her nasal passages. That is why her voice is nasally. *sigh* I just get really tired of people listening to an album once by an artist they know very little about, and being able to put their opinions of this album and artist out where the public can read them. It's so annoying.

In Your Dreams

2011-05-02T19:24:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow morning I will hold in my hand a brand-spanking-new copy of Stevie Nicks' album In Your Dreams, something that represents a year of waiting for me and so many other fans. This is the first album of all new songs that Stevie has released in ten years. Granted, a live album that came out sometime in '09 had a couple songs that Stevie had never recorded, but this is all original material - poetry for a new generation.

Sidenote: The album has been available for a week through a stream on Rolling Stone's website. I have listened to the album nearly a dozen times, so this is how I feel I'm adequately prepped for not only analyzing the following review, but for forming opinions of my own.

Now, I wouldn't say that all reviews of the album have been glowing, but they have been positive, until Slant Magazine's review that I just read earlier today. You can view the full article here. Here are some of my favorite snippets:

But In Your Dreams indulges in some of Nicks's worst tendencies as a songwriter and is slathered in chintzy, dated production values.
Funny that you say that, considering one of the first comments someone made to me was about how good the production quality of the album is. Additionally, the "chintzy" quality that you reference was actually created on purpose in order to evoke a particular feel.

Unfortunately, the poor quality of the songwriting falls primarily on Nicks's shoulders. "Moonlight (A Vampire's Dream)" was inspired by her viewing of The Twilight Saga: New Moon while on tour, and it boasts exactly the same degree of depth as Stephenie Meyer's vapid, wooden prose.
Actually, Stevie generally takes full writing credit herself, but for most of the songs on this album, it is shared. So how does this fall primarily on her shoulders? Now, Stevie has stated in interviews that the first two verses of this song were written in the mid-1970s, and that she was inspired to complete the song after viewing New Moon. Also, it can be noted that this is merely one of three songs on this album that draws inspiration from literature. I would hardly call that writing that lacks depth.

Even worse is "New Orleans," ... That the melody lifts at the end of each line overemphasizes the final word of those lines, giving the song an obnoxious, stilted cadence. It's perhaps the worst song in Nicks's entire catalogue, reducing the culture of New Orleans to Bourbon Street and vampire lore.
I take issue with a couple of things here. First of all, an obnoxious cadence? What does that even mean? And calling a song the worst song in Nicks' catalogue? How can you make that claim? Have you sifted through dozens of her rough, unfinished demos (like I and so many dozens of other fans have)? Or are you simply considering polished, completed album cuts in this "catalogue"? Additionally, I seem to recall the first few lines of the song making reference to the storm-ravaged New Orleans, and other lines referencing the French Quarter, Mardi Gras, and the city's art culture, so I wouldn't say that she's neglecting any aspect of New Orleans culture.

"Italian Summer" misses its mark almost as badly, with hollow exclamations about how the hard rain in Italy is "so romantic" and, oddly, "soulful."
This statement is particularly hilarious to me, because of the fact that this song contains one of Nicks' best vocal performances ever. And actually, "so romantic" and "soulful" are in reference to the summer in Italy, not the rain itself. You might want to listen to the narrative a little more closely.

The reserved acoustic strumming that drives "For What It's Worth" only exacerbates the song's monotonous melody, highlighting how much range and power Nicks's voice has lost in the decade since the underappreciated Trouble in Shangri-La.
I agree that TiSL is underappreciated, and of course Nicks' voice has changed since then. That was ten years ago, and the woman is in her mid-60s now. As a music critic, you should simply be thrilled that auto-tune is not required on this album, and you should be noting the fact that many of Nicks' contemporaries have stopped even attempting to release new music.

The further away I get from this review, the more furious it makes me. Naturally, everyone is entitled their own opinion, and the opinions of many are bound to differ with mine, but a 1 1/2 star rating is hardly fair to anyone. What's particularly irritating about this article to me is the fact that the reviewer keeps referencing Nicks' previous albums, specifically Trouble in Shangri-La (far from her finest work) and the Fleetwood Mac album Rumours. I've already addressed TiSL and the fact that Stevie's voice has definitely changed since that time, but I would hardly say it lost any power. In fact, since 2005, Stevie's voice has gotten considerably stronger, following a weakened period due to years of drug use. As for Rumours, it was written and recorded over 30 years ago. It's unfair to compare the voice/songwriting ability of a woman in her late 20s whose creativity was partially fueled by drugs and an incredibly public and tumultous breakup to that of a seasoned woman in her 60s who has been living a life of luxury for the last few decades. Most of Stevie's writing now comes from poetry written years ago that she is now reworking and putting her more mature perspective on. Maybe as a fan, I am biased. But, as an English major, I certainly am not. Stevie's songwriting, if it has changed at all, has only gotten technically better. She has always written her music without paying much attention to person, gender, or grammar. Her songs have always been about the flow of the words rather than the consistency of the narrative (something that, oddly, I have always struggled with in my own writing). The songs on In Your Dreams suffer less from this problem than much of her other work has. (I seem to recall what became a pretty heated discussion, during the making of Fleetwood Mac's Say You Will, with Lindsey Buckingham regarding this very issue.) Granted, I find this particular quality of her songwriting to be a plus rather than a negative, but to each his/her own.

I may not be qualified on paper to be a music critic, but considering my degree, the fact that I have taken several music history classes, and the fact that I am more familiar with Stevie Nicks' body of work than probably 95% of music critics/teachers/analysts, I would say I am more than qualified to critique this album. It's not perfect; I readily admit that. In fact, I consider "Cheaper Than Free" a low point, and way closer to that "worst song" status than "New Orleans". But as a collective work? I venture to say this is better than the critic's precious Trouble in Shangri-La, or even earlier Nicks' albums like The Other Side of the Mirror (which I love).

I hate, loathe, despise, and abominate money.

2011-04-06T14:27:00.000-04:00

I had this big idea that I was going to pay off my credit card in three years.

It would be nice if I could actually live on a completely restricted budget, but there are always issues that arise. For example, having to travel for family-related things that you didn't plan for, therefore spending more gas money. Having to buy a new bite guard to prevent myself from grinding my teeth to pieces in my sleep. Having to buy new glasses. It's always something. This past week has definitely been something for me. In the past year, not only have I not made a dent in my $3600 of existing credit card debt, but I have built up $600 more. ($330 of this since last Thursday.) I could always get a second job again, which never actually allows me to get ahead financially and makes me tired as fuck to boot. I could take on a roommate, which would definitely save me a couple hundred a month in living expenses (if not more).

But what do I have to sacrifice in order to get out of debt? Granted, I've known of people who had tens of thousands in credit card debt, so I don't suppose I have all that much to worry about right now. I can afford my monthly credit card payment, so at least I'm not paying late fees and overages and having things charged off on my credit report. I just sometimes feel that I'm under unnecessary pressure. I'm only 25 years old, and I have a car payment and student loans to worry about. I'd have to be making twice what I do in order to feel like I'm making a dent in my debt. But why am I in such a hurry to get it all paid off? I'm not behind on things. I'm not going to get evicted; my car's not going to get repossessed. Why can't I just chill out? Why do we all feel such pressure to keep up with the Joneses?

It's America, man. What the hell is our problem?

2011-03-29T18:09:00.000-04:00

I remember a time when Natalie Dee used to be my life. Today I miss that time in my life.

Click the comic to go to Natalie Dee's website. Also check out Toothpaste for Dinner and Married to the Sea, my favorite.

Baby loves to dance in the dark, 'cause when he's looking she falls apart.

2011-03-23T20:43:00.000-04:00

I see it's been a while since I posted. I certainly think the death of Elizabeth Taylor warrants a murmur.

Firstly, I do want to mention Lady Gaga. March 12th was the Lady Gaga concert in Louisville, and I will admit that between her set and the opening act, I was getting a little antsy. The Scissor Sisters only played a thirty minute set before the hour-long intermission, but once Gaga was onstage, she more than made up for it. The set was elaborate, and the whole show was set up kind of like a rock opera, with her and friends having their car break down on their way to the concert. She was onstage more than the back-up dancers, and the costume changes were incredibly quick. The only times she left the stage were for set changes, and I'd say that was for less than twenty minutes out of the entire two hours that she played. Her energy was amazing, and she sang all of her really big hits. She even sang a lesser hit which is a personal favorite of mine, "Dance in the Dark". She is one immensely talented individual, and the ticket price was more than worth it. Plus, I found a $100 leaving the arena, so that ended up being my shirt + gas money. All in all, it was a great night.

Now, to Dame Elizabeth. I will admit, I am not a very big Elizabeth Taylor fan. I admire her much more for her personal attributes than for her contributions to film. In fact, I never really considered her to be very talented until seeing her in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof less than a year ago. But I haven't seen very many of her movies, so I suppose I should do my research before making any further judgments for or against her talents. Elizabeth was, however, an incredibly beautiful and classy woman, and despite having eight very highly publicized marriages (and ensuing divorces), she was quite a private woman. Those attributes, in addition to her relentless charity work for HIV/AIDS research, are why I admire her. She always prevailed in the face of scandal, and the opinions of all who knew her personally really attest to her great qualities. She was the last of the true Hollywood Legends, and she will be greatly missed by all.

OMG. WTF? ROTFL!

2011-03-08T14:49:00.000-05:00

I had a lot of respect for Chuck Norris until I read this article, posted yesterday on World Net Daily. In italics you will see my commentary. And apparently this article is part 1 of 2, so be prepared for more.

U.S. public schools: Progressive indoctrination camps
by Chuck Norris
via World Net Daily

Why should liberals want to change the public educational system when it is turning out the product they have been striving for years to produce?

Check out these real news headlines from the past several weeks and months about the state of U.S. public education across the country:

"U.S. teachers tell U.N. sex is a 'spectrum' – advocate mandatory classes to free students from 'religion'"

"Principal orders Ten Commandments yanked from school lockers"
Separation of Church and State, buddy. Nothing new there.

"Teens ask for more sex ed, greater condom availability"
Teaching abstinence only DOES NOT WORK. There is research on this.

"State university defines Christians as 'oppressors'"

"Why Catholic schools score better than public schools"
Because they have more money?

"Teachers take charge to save ailing public schools"

"Schools' mandatory Arabic classes create firestorm"

"District taking money, but censoring Christians?"
I'm sorry, what does that even mean?

"No opting out of pro-gay school propaganda"
Clearly this school is not in the South.

"District pays up for slamming student's rosary"

"Judge cites homeschoolers for violating U.N. mandate – Police interrogate parents, confiscate their curriculum"

"Some say schools giving Muslims special treatment"

On Dec. 27, 1820, Thomas Jefferson wrote about his vision for the University of Virginia (chartered in 1819), "This institution will be based on the illimitable freedom of the human mind. For here we are not afraid to follow the truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate any error as long as reason is left free to combat it."
Yes, let's cite something that someone said 200 years ago. Because that's relevant.

But what should happen 200 years later when our public schools and universities avoid the testing of truths? Or suppress alternate opinions because they are unpopular or politically incorrect? I thought alternate opinions was what you were dissing here? Or no longer tolerate opinions now considered errors or obsolete by the elite? What happens when sociopolitical agendas or scientific paradigms dominate academic views to the exclusion of a minority even being mentioned? Huh?

What happens when the political and public educational pendulum swings from concern for the tyranny of sectarianism in Jefferson's day to secularism in ours? Did a ghost writer write this for you? Seriously. What happens when U.S. public schools become progressive indoctrination camps? CAMPS?

Dr. Jim Nelson Black, founder and senior policy analyst of the Sentinel Research Associates in Washington, D.C., wrote an excellent book, "Freefall of the American University." In it, he documents the clear biases pervading our public academic settings. Among that lopsidedness is the intentional training of students to disdain America, freely experiment sexually, forcefully defend issues like abortion and homosexuality, as well as become cultural advocates for political correctness, relativism, globalization, green agendas and tolerance for all.

This is where I have to stop things. I have never known a public school in this country to teach one to disdain America. Private schools? I don't know, maybe. I never attended private school, so that's not information I am privy to. My school did not teach me to freely experiment sexually. It taught me that sex was wrong and evil and could send me to Hell. I did learn in college that if I'm going to have sex, my partner needs to wear a condom. That's not sexual experimentation; it's disease prevention. No school I attended defended abortion or homosexuality. In fact, the college I went to allowed what Mr. Norris would call "conservatives" to display photographs of aborted babies as a scare tactic to prevent abortion. I would hardly call that defending abortion. As for the closing statement, are green agendas and tolerance bad things? If so, Mr. Norris's world is not one I would choose to live in.

One of the primary ways these educative platforms are spread is by recruiting and retaining faculty members who reflect and teach them. For example, citing from the polling firm of Luntz Research, Dr. Black notes that the 57 percent of faculty members represented in our most esteemed universities are Democrats (only 3 percent Republican) and 64 percent identify themselves as liberal (only 6 percent conservative). The reason for these skewed numbers is simple: Republicans and conservatives find themselves above education. If you polled the employment at brokerage firms, or even those Catholic schools Mr. Norris seems so fond of, I'm sure the numbers would look quite different. Moreover, 71 percent of them disagree that "news coverage of political and social issues reflects a liberal bias in the news media." Fox News anyone? And the No. 1 answer they gave to the question, "Who has been the best president in the past 40 years?" was Bill Clinton (only 4 percent said Ronald Reagan). It would be imporant here to cite the ages of people polled. Many of them could not have been of voting age (or even born) at the time Reagan was in office. Also, people's memories of a President 15 years ago is going to supercede memories of a President 25 years ago. That's just simple math.

This is why it is no surprise that the two largest teachers unions, the NEA and AFT, are the largest campaign contributors in the nation (giving more than the Teamsters, NRA or any other organization), and that 90 percent of their contributions fund Democratic candidates. In doing so, do we think such funding is going to balance traditional and conservative values in public schools? If someone is so concerned with "the agenda" of the school their child is attending, then I'm sure this sort of person would be more than willing to pay tuition for their child to attend a school that teaches other values.

The impact of progressivism is being experienced by students across this land, hundreds of thousands of whom have already cried out with complaints of academic inequity. Academic inequity has nothing to do with cirriculum, only funding. And isn't it the conservatives who are voting to pull education funding? A sampling of the hundreds of student grievances from across the academic spectrum can even be found on websites like the Students for Academic Freedom and NoIndoctrination.org.

It is also no surprise that an average of 6,000 students every year is leaving the approximately 94,000 public schools in America. There are other factors here aside from the education. Teenage pregnancy is a major contributor to dropout rates. Teaching abstinence-only leads to what? Teenage pregnancy. Bam. If the power-to-be over our public schools, like government and unions, continue to oppose conservative curricula and impose overarching liberal educational revisions and laws, public schools will continue to experience an exodus.

I fully realize there are some great conservative people on the staffs of many public schools and universities, but I know virtually all of them would concur that a liberal bias in our academic curricula and system is overwhelmingly dominant and ubiquitous.

Is this present, restrictive and one-sided educational environment that which Thomas Jefferson and other founders intended for the future generations of America? Absolutely not! Rather than encourage free thinking, the U.S. academic system has turned Jefferson's plans for open education into our culture's system of indoctrination. Conservativism at its core rejects free thinking.

So long, Carrell.

2011-03-04T14:25:00.000-05:00

Steve Carrell's last day of work on The Office is today. Big Love is within its last month on the air. Even for someone who doesn't have cable or satellite, and only watches television from time to time on the internet, this is a sad time in television, as far as I'm concerned.

I used to be a television addict. I'm still way too tuned in to pop culture, but I watch far less television than I used to. Wait, scratch that. I watch far less live television than I used to. I still have my TV on constantly, but I'm mostly watching DVDs of series that have long been off the air. I have the complete series of Will & Grace, Arrested Development and Reba, four seasons of Friends, two seasons of The Golden Girls, seven of the eight seasons of Bewitched, one season of 227, and the first two seasons of True Blood. I just received Friends and True Blood for Christmas, so I had even less to watch three months ago than I do now. I do occassionally watch movies (of which I have many), but when I'm home I'm usually just cycling through those television seasons, or watching whatever I've gotten in the mail through Netflix.

Anyway, the point is, two of my favorite series currently airing are closing chapters. Big Love is ending (on what I hope and pray is a good note, after a fourth season trainwreck and a rocky final season). The Office might as well be ending, because removing Michael Scott from Dunder Mifflin would be like watching...what's a fair comparison? It will be like watching Cheers without Sam Malone, or The Mary Tyler Moore Show without Lou Grant. Sure, other major members of the cast will remain, and there will still be other stories, but how can you have a workplace comedy without the boss? Or an ensemble show without everyone's favorite buffoon? I am anxious to see the remaining episodes, especially the ones featuring Will Ferrell, but I can't imagine anyone else running that office as well as Steve Carrell. Unless of course, it would be the new company overlord Kathy Bates, but she has her own show now, so that dream is dead.

I just hope The Office isn't the next show to go on to that great television set in the sky, because I will miss having the sweet romance of Jim and Pam in my life as a reminder that love really does exist. And it's sad that I need TV characters to remind me of that.

FWC FTW!

2011-02-25T20:29:00.000-05:00

Goldie Hawn tweeted yesterday: Just had the most fab lunch with Diane and Bette talking about another film! Best part was being together!

Anybody who has any sort of pop culture knowledge whatsoever knows that Diane and Bette refer to Keaton and Midler respectively. If this tweet means there is going to be a sequel to The First Wives Club, I am going to kill myself. No no. You don't understand. I will have to kill myself if there is a sequel to The First Wives Club, because nothing greater or of higher importance will ever happen to me as long as I live. Ever. Okay, I take that back. If Bette Midler and Stevie Nicks did anything together - recorded a duet, wrote a song, performed a concert - that would be the best thing of all time. But a First Wives Club sequel would just be...I can't even describe what feelings I would have to see this come to fruition!

There have been whispers of a sequel to this movie for years. Bette has even mentioned it in interviews before, saying that it has been talked about but that Hollywood views the three of them as being too old to carry a film (which was actually said when the first one was done). But with the recent turnaround (Mamma Mia anyone?) at the box office, I totally think that the studios could have a really big hit on their hands. The first movie was done through Paramount, so I don't know if they have the rights, or where things stand on that front, but personally I think any studio would have to be stupid to turn down three high caliber stars such as Hawn, Keaton, and Midler. It would be a goldmine!

Of course, I'm probably biased.

UPDATE: Bette Midler tweeted this about 30 minutes ago:

Three First Wives yakking about their new movie project.... @goldiehawn

With this picture:

I. Died.

2011-02-14T18:48:00.000-05:00

My supervisor today actually asked me if I knew why Kris Kristofferson introduced Barbra Streisand at last night's Grammy Awards. Bitch, please. I know more about the legacy that is A Star Is Born than you ever possibly could.

2011-02-04T20:12:00.000-05:00

Dear Guy that wasn't paying attention and ran a stoplight, hitting my car on December 19, 2010:

Thank you so much for your inattention to traffic signals, as I am still reeling from the effects of your actions. You caused me to be without my car for five straight weeks, during which I had to pay for a rental car because your insurance policy didn't fully cover that. Then, after driving my car for a week, I had to be without it again in order to have another issue fixed that was caused by the impact of your vehicle against mine. By the time I get it back, I will have been without my car for another week. I have suffered incalculable amounts of stress due to this accident, not to mention financial strain. I have, since December 19, had to make two payments on my automobile. Nearly $700 paid toward a vehicle that I have been able to drive for one week out of the past seven.

I have suffered stress not only because of the absence of my vehicle during this time, but also due to the lack of good service that I have received from the repair facility, including but not limited to the fact that my car was returned to me in far less than the immaculate condition in which I have always kept it. But, I do suppose I am partially to blame for this problem, since I was the one that chose the repair facility in the first place.

I am sure, good sir, that your vehicle was totalled and your issues were resolved quickly and efficiently. Since you are a male, I have no doubt that the insurance and body shop gods have smiled upon you in recent weeks and gotten things done in a timely manner in order to appease you. I wish I were able to receive the same courtesies in life. However, since I was not born with a penis, people tend to think they can walk all over me, since I clearly don't possess enough testosterone (aka "intelligence") to have any idea what I'm talking about in any situation.

I hope the holiday season treated you well, and I hope you are enjoying whatever vehicle you are driving at this time. I hope your mother (aka the insurance policy holder) did give you a good scolding for the deductible she more than likely had to pay due to your transgression. Good luck in the future, and thank you again for fucking up my life so supremely.

Yours truly,
Claimant

woes

2011-02-01T15:01:00.000-05:00

I finally got my car back on Monday of last week. You'd think that would be the end of the saga, right? No. Wrong.

When I picked my car up from the body shop, five weeks exactly from the day the vehicle was delivered there, it was filthy. Granted, I don't know much about the policies of auto body shops, but you'd think that if you had to remove and replace an entire door on a vehicle, plus paint it, that you'd clean it up a little bit. Fortunately the fabric on the interior was okay for the most part, but every non-fabric surface inside my car had to be wiped down. There was dust from the air bags, and paint dust, all over. I was furious. I have always kept my car impeccably clean, and the fact that they had inconvenienced me even further...I cannot explain to you the anger that I felt. Plus my seatbelt wouldn't retract, so that was just an added bonus. I had to leave work to pick up my car in the first place, but I couldn't stand the dirtiness so I went to Walmart and bought some Armor All and cleaning rags, and I cleaned the car out. I cleaned so much grime off of the interior, plus the whole seatbelt thing that was going on, that I decided to go back to the body shop and complain. I had them fix the seatbelt first, which took all of five minutes, and then brought the claims guy over to my car with me to show him the rag that I had used to clean the car. I told him how upset I was, and he took the rag to his supervisor to show him. They gave me a coupon for free detailing. I wasn't really happy with that. (They didn't detail the car in the first place, so why would I just assume they would do it, and do it well, if I took it back up there?) But I didn't pay a dime for any of the repairs done, so there was really nothing else they could have done to appease me. Fine, whatever, I thanked the guy and tried to shrug the experience off. After I returned to work (two hours later) and complained to anyone who would listen, that is.

So, then, Friday I took the car to the dealership for its 15000 mile check-up. When I had picked up the car from the body shop on Monday, the fuel gauge showed a full tank. I knew I didn't have a full tank when I wrecked, so I just assumed they filled it and didn't think twice about. Didn't think about it on Friday either. Then on Saturday I drove to Lawrenceburg to visit a couple of the bourbon distilleries. On my way back into Lexington, I realized my gauge was still on full, which was impossible. I hadn't driven all that far between Monday and Friday, but all the way to Lawrenceburg? There was no way it was still full. When I went out for coffee Saturday night I thought I should fill up. Maybe the gauge would reset? Anyway, it cost me $41.26 to fill up my car, and my fuel tank capacity is 13.2 gallons. I put over 13 in the car. I got so lucky that I didn't run out of gas.

This morning I dropped off my car at the body shop so they could have they fuel gauge checked out. That was about a quarter after 9. Six hours later, and I've heard nothing. But I don't suppose I should be surprised. I'm in another rental car, but at least this time I don't have to pay for it. *sigh*

Update

2011-01-18T16:05:00.000-05:00

Well, guess what? Still waiting to get my car back. It was supposed to be Friday, then it was supposed to be today, now it will be late tomorrow or early Thursday. I have had it up to my ears with this thing.

In other news, my great uncle passed away last week, so I had to go to Campbellsville and then Elizabethtown for family stuff and the funeral service over the weekend.

I also got an iPhone on Saturday. (Yay.) And, possibly most important of all, a release date for Stevie Nicks' new album was announced. It's available for pre-order, and I got a free download of one of the new songs for pre-ordering. I have listened to it over a dozen times since Thursday, and I even created a ringtone from the song. I am so pumped. In fact, things over the past several days really seemed to be going my way until the news about another delay on my car, so I guess I should just suck it up and stop complaining. But I'm pretty sure the Earth would actually stop revolving if I were to be completely happy for more than a day. Something had to ruin my mood for the good of the rest of the human race. I suppose that's a sacrifice I can make.

Oh! And remember when I got runner-up on the D-Listed CAPTION THIS contest twice in one week some time back? Well, for yesterday's contest I was the mutha effin' winner. See the brilliance here.

2011-01-07T19:16:00.001-05:00

Well, still waiting to get my car back after my accident. I've been in a rental since December 20th. I am feeling slightly less frustrated with my situation today than I have been. I mentioned the change in our pay schedules in an earlier blog. Today was the first paycheck out of this new schedule. This particular check was actually larger than usual, but due to the changeover, this pay was for 12 days instead of 10, so that was why. Checks that follow will be for less. But I can't complain. $100 extra bucks on my first check this month, and no car payment to come out of my January pay. I'm using this extra money to pay down some money I charged on my second credit card. Also, I only have a little over three months left on my lease at my current apartment, and I plan on moving somewhere with lower rent, so I can't wait for that.

A little less than two months left until the Lady Gaga concert. I have that to look forward to, at least.

Lucky #4?

2010-12-21T14:54:00.000-05:00

I was in a car accident on Sunday night. It was about 11:00 and I was leaving my friend Jon-Michael's place. I took a route home I don't normally take, just because I hadn't been that way in a while and I was trying to switch up my routine. I also thought about stopping by the post office to drop something off, but decided against it at the last second and went on going forward where I was instead of turning off. As I approached the intersection of East Maxwell and South MLK downtown, my light was green. There's a slight curve as you approach the intersection, so visibility isn't that great as far as being able to see the traffic soming down Maxwell (which is one-way). Right up on the intersection I could see there was a car coming, and although his light was red he was not slowing down. I sped up a little bit hoping to beat him past the intersection (because I knew braking would have been futile), but he still hit me. The impact was on the rear passenger side door. That tire also blew out, and I spun at least once before coming to a stop between a utility pole and a walk/don't walk sign post. My side airbags also deployed. I am fine, just a little sore, but my car is going to be in the body shop for possibly three weeks. Unfortunately it is not totalled. That actually would have helped me out tremendously financially if it were.

I am relieved that there was no damage to my body in any way and that I didn't slam into that utility pole before stopping. I have become very cynical lately about the existence of God, but there's no denying a higher power when something like that happens to you and you come out unscathed. I've actually been really worried this year about something happening to me. My uncle died at the age of 25 so I just don't want history to repeat with me. It's interesting, though. He died four months after his 25th birthday, and my 25th was...four months ago.

Weekend of Crap

2010-12-13T20:25:00.000-05:00

I drove to Campbellsville after work on Saturday. It rained the entire way there. I went to my aunt and uncle's house, where I attended a birthday party for my cousin who turned 14 on Sunday. Free pizza, cake, and frozen yogurt. Yum. During the night, it snowed. I had already been planning to go shopping out of town with my sister that day, and I was determined to do it. My dad was at work and my mother hates driving in the snow, so I offered to drive her to church before I had to go and pick up my sister. There were a couple of spots on the road where I had medium difficulty, but that was it. The main roads were mostly clear, so I decided that shopping was still a-go. Picked up my sister at 11 and had a nice day of shopping in Elizabethtown. I was pissed because I wanted to go by AT&T and upgrade to an iPhone. I'm not due for an upgrade until January 15th, but I've upgraded early before and thought they might let me. The answer was no.

We drove back to Campbellsville, where a short time later I rode to church with my father to attend the Christmas program that my mom had directed, put on by the children's department. Adorableness, bad acting, and mediocre singing ensued. During the time that we were in church, it snowed way more and the roads got worse. Blah. The kids found out school had been canceled and it was joyous for them. We went to the bowling alley, where an after-party was being held. Free food and bowling. Yay.

The trip to the bowling alley was fun because I drove my mom out there and since I'm not used to driving her car, I didn't realize her headlights weren't on, and we had a little tiff while I was trying to figure out how to turn them on. The woman has no idea how to describe location.

We went home and I conceded that, yes, I should probably wait until morning to travel to Lexington. I was going through my wallet and couldn't find my debit card, so I went out to the car to look for it. I couldn't see, so I got my flashlight out of the trunk. The batteries then died. I went back inside, found my debit card in my wallet behind my driver's license. Twenty minutes later I realized that the light was on in my car. I had left it on the night before as well, having to go back out in the rain and turn it off. So, I went back out, turned off the light, then continued to watch Christmas Cupid with my mother. Dumb title, considering the fact that the story was a kind of rip-off of A Christmas Carol and had nothing to do with a Cupid-like entity.

I got up at 8 this morning so I could find out the weather situation, waited until 10:30 to leave, and went in to work an hour late after dropping off my things at home, feeding my cat, and grabbing something to eat.

I officially hate winter, and I'm not too fond of Christmas any more either.

as yet untitled story

2010-11-30T17:57:00.000-05:00

A little snippet from a story I've been working on:

I stood at the bar casually stirring my tequila sunrise. Kathy was late, as usual. They had the TVs on with some sporting event playing, par for the course. I’ve never been much for sports, but every girl enjoys cute guys in tight pants, so I glanced up to see what was on. Just about the same time, a guy sitting at a corner table caught my eye. He looked tall because he had solid posture, despite the fact that his elbows were resting on the small round table and he was leaning into the wood ever so slightly. He was dressed in dark khakis and a navy blue Ralph Lauren polo. He had a beer in one of his oversized hands, and I wondered if he had ever played basketball. Just as my eyes started to travel from the nape of his neck down toward his backside, he caught me observing him. I turned swiftly back to my drink, taking a hard swig as I tapped my index finger on the glass in time. I made sure my glass was at my lips for five solid seconds, giving him a little time to direct his gaze elsewhere. Setting the glass back on the bar, I stared ahead for another moment, hoping to give the impression that I was thinking about something. Time to look again. I turned my head to the left again, but made sure to look at the television first this time. Of course I wasn’t really interested in the football game, but he didn’t have to know that. Not right away, at least. Finally, after a play was completed, I decided it was time to take another peek. I looked down and inadvertently locked eyes with Mystery Man. His eyes were a deep blue, almost cerulean. I pursed my lips into a very faint smile and simultaneously directed my eyes toward the floor. Wow. He was beautiful. I looked quickly at my watch to show that I was waiting for someone, and then I looked in the direction of the front door.

Maybe he would think I was waiting for a date. After all, I was dressed fairly nicely. Pink satin blouse, my pinstriped pencil skirt, a pair of nude heels. I had even curled my hair that morning. Come to think of it, I was looking pretty hot. Oh, Kathy, I remembered. Shit, still not here. Oh well. Time to check out the hottie some more. I tossed my hair off of my left shoulder and as I started to turn my head back toward him, I could feel a presence beside me. Suddenly my eyes were staring right at his firm chest.

Existence is futile.

2010-11-29T19:17:00.000-05:00

I have gone through most of my 25 years under the impression that I am intelligent, talented, and unique. Just recently, however, I have realized that these things are all lies.

I have been struggling for some time with my "purpose". What is it? How do I achieve it? And why in hell can't I figure out what it is? Many people would tell me to turn to God, that He will reveal my purpose to me. While my way of trying to find my purpose may not be any more productive than prayer, it is also not any less productive, and I refuse to leave major life decisions up to some higher entity. While in the long run, yes, these things may be up to a higher power and not myself, I can at least actively work toward decisions on my own, that way I feel like I have some semblance of control over my own existence. I have been unhappy in my life because I believe that I am here for some greater reason, and I can't figure out how it is that I am supposed to make my mark on society and create my legacy. I have received no signs, to the best of my knowledge, and if anything, there are only more and more hurdles being placed in the way of me finding my destiny.

I had been thinking about going back to school to get a second degree. I really want a job in the creative industry, but I realize it is very competitive, and I may not even be good enough at creative things to excel in that anyway. Several years ago, inspired by the music of Fleetwood Mac, I briefly considered going into sound mixing so that I could work with recording studios and artists to create new music, but for some reason I didn't ever pursue that. Now I've been thinking again about going into that field, but no one who has given me any advice on the subject seems to think it's a good idea. All I know is I don't want to sit at a desk for the rest of my life. I want to be remembered, and I'm not going to be remembered for processing loans or anything else about my heretofore meaningless existence. I have no doubt in my mind that I could easily get into another college. But would it be fruitful for me to do so? I'm already in a career that has absolutely nothing to do with my college major, and if not for the fact that I had to have a four-year degree to get this job, I would even say that going to college the first time was a waste of money. So going back? Well, one good thing would be the fact that I'd be able to defer my current student loans while enrolled full-time, but if I'm taking out more student loans that's sort of counterproductive. I'd also have to relocate, which part of me desperately wants, but another part of me doesn't. I'm already incredibly lonely, and if I move somewhere where I don't know anyone, those feelings will surely only compound.

On the other hand, moving away from all that I know and enrolling in school again would allow for a fresh start, and a fresh start could lead to a new perspective. I would certainly welcome that. But then again, it goes back to the question of whether or not this would be a smart move financially. I struggle as it is, but with an uncertain future in a niche job market and additional debt, the freedom of this new life may be overshadowed by further financial struggle.

See, if God really did care what happened to me, this would be the time where he would step in and point me in the right direction. Or am I supposed to set up a sign for myself? For example, if I get a year-end raise, then that is my sign that I am supposed to stay in Lexington, and if I don't it's time to move on. Is this what I am to do? Set up that guideline and let Him decide which way to take things? I guess that's all I can do for now. It's not like I can just up and move anyway. I just pray that I get my sign, whatever it may be, by March, that way I can actually start making solid plans.

Oh, and the reasons why I feel I'm not special, talented, or unique? Because if I were, I wouldn't be just another millworker. I don't have anything that makes me stand out in a crowd of thousands, nor do I have anything to make me special to the masses. I may be loved by a handful of people, but if they outlive me, when they die, so does my memory, and I don't see that as me being special at all.

Why Zoey isn't the mother.

2010-11-24T14:49:00.000-05:00

A girl I went to high school with posted on Facebook the other night that if it turned out Zoey was the mother (on the show How I Met Your Mother), that she would feel like she wasted these years she's spent watching the show.

I agree. I hate that character, and I'm not terribly fond of the actress that plays her.

But here's why Zoey isn't the mother that we've all waited six seasons, and counting, for. Remember when Ted went out with Cindy (Rachel Bilson)? And it was revealed that the mother was Cindy's roommate, and that all of the guys Cindy dated fell in love with the mother? Well...Zoey can't be the mother because: 1) Zoey is not the kind of woman that guys would fall in love with that easily. 2) Zoey's married, and has been since the age of 22, which we learned a couple episodes ago. Therefore, unless producers want to cheapen Ted's relationship with the mother by beginning it while she is married to someone else, or unless they can come up with a really believable reason why a long-married woman would be living apart from her husband in an apartment with a girlfriend of hers, then there's no way that Zoey is the mother.

And that is my theory for the day.

lyrically challenged

2010-11-24T11:04:00.000-05:00

Here's the thing about Stevie Nicks, and I apologize if I have posted anything resembling this statement before, but narratively, her songs make no sense. She changes tenses in the middle of a verse, switches from third to first person, mixes her pronouns, and uses incomplete phrases. Which is why it makes absolutely no sense that I love her music so much. I am such a stickler for grammar and continuity within a story, and tense and person changes are major no-nos. On the other hand, one thing that is so cool about Stevie's stuff is how so many of her songs are connected lyrically, which does create continuity within her entire body of work, and I love that fact. She uses the same characters sometimes in multiple songs, and she will repeat a phrase in one song that she used years before in another, or change it ever so slightly to where you still recognize it as a lyric from a previous song. Here's an example:

from "Illume", on Fleetwood Mac's Say You Will

I like the coastal cities
I like the lights...
I like the way the ocean blends
Into the city at night
Like living on a working river
This coastline is glittering
Like a diamond snake
In a black sky

from "Destiny Rules", on Fleetwood Mac's Say You Will

I like the coastal cities, I like the lights

I like the way the city blends into the ocean at night
It's like living on a working river; the coastline is glittering
Like a diamond snake in a black sky

The first song is about 9/11, and I think that serves as a fantastic description of New York City.

Another lyric cross-reference example:

from "Blue Lamp", from the soundtrack to the movie Heavy Metal

Downstairs the big old house is mine

Upstairs where the stars still laugh and they shine
Downstairs where the big old house is mine
Outside where the stars still laugh and
Stars still laugh and shine
And the stars still laugh and cry and shine
And the stars still laugh and cry and shine
And the stars still laugh and shine and shine

from "Welcome to the Room...Sara", from Fleetwood Mac's Tango in the Night

Ooh, downstairs where the

Big old house is mine
Ooh, upstairs where the
Stars laugh and shine
Oh, Oh well I thought that
You were mine
Well I thought that
You were mine

The first two songs are from the same album, but the other two came years apart. Kinda cool. I think, anyway. I got all of the lyrics from The Nicks Fix, btw.

The reason I mentioned Stevie Nicks is that I was listening to some music last night before bed and was wishing I could write songs. Actually I was listening to The Judds. Other songwriters wrote most of their stuff as far as I know, but they did some great songs with really fantastic lyrics. In my life, I have been touched so much by song lyrics, and can really express my emotion much better through the lyrics of others than I can with my own words. I suppose I should try songwriting again. When I did it before, I was in high school, so the lyrics were sort of lame. But I'm a little older and wiser now, so maybe, just maybe I have a shot at not sucking at it this time around.

Kim Zolciak ruined my life.

2010-11-23T20:10:00.000-05:00

I just heard Kim Zolciak (from one of those fucking Real Housewives shows) perform her song "Google Me" on Bravo..."LIVE"! That woman's face is busted, her weave is busted, and her voice is so busted I was ready to physically injure myself just to not have to listen to one more second of her "singing". And you know what? I just let Zolciak fucking win by using her damn name so many times. This blog entry may even show up in a fucking Google search of Kim Zolciak now. I am perpetuating this horrible cycle!

Oh, and Zolciak? You don't "click" keys, you idiot!

Cherilyn Sarkesian...yes bitches, I know her real name.

2010-11-19T18:23:00.000-05:00

When you forget for a minute that Cher is about 83% plastic, she actually can look quite good, especially for her age. Check out this picture: http://dlisted.com/node/39706/images/spl228084_038.jpg Cher and her mother both look twenty years younger than they are. It's amazing. There are more pictures below as well, including a couple with Cher's son Chaz.

Cher has been getting some flack in the press lately for forgetting to call Chaz "him". I say, give the woman a break. Having a transgender child has to be complicated, famous or no. Cher had a daughter named Chastity for 40 years. You can't just immediately remember to say Chaz instead of Chastity and he instead of she after 40 years. She's still adjusting to the change. Plus, the woman's 64 for crying out loud. You can't expect her mind to cooperate all the time.

People should also give her a break because she's fucking Cher. If Cher came up to me and called me Fido and tried to pet me like a dog, I would let her. Because she's Cher.

What now?

2010-11-15T15:42:00.000-05:00

It would be nice if we could all live our lives the same way that a dog or a cat does: we eat, we sleep, we hump things, and eventually we die. We have no goals or ambitions, no fears (other than the natural fear of creatures that are larger than ourselves), and no plans. All we'd need is sustenance and occasional affection. We would never expect anything, or have hopes and dreams that could be shattered. We'd just exist, and be content with what we could get.

I've been trying to figure out my next step. I'm not getting any closer to the future I have pictured in my head, and I need to figure out which path will get me closer to that picture. I honestly don't know what I want to do. I've always seen myself in a creative career. I'm driven emotionally and have a flair for the abstract. If you had asked me ten years ago where I would be at 25, I would have said I'd be a film actress, or a novelist, or at the very least a mother. I'm not any of those things, nor is it likely that I will be. But if I can't be those things, is it that much to ask that I at least am in a career related to the things I'm interested in?

No one I ask for advice has anything optimistic to say about the options I've mentioned. It has been suggested that I get my MBA, but then I'd still be doing something I consider to be routine, a run-of-the-mill job. Am I giving myself and my creative abilities too much credit? Or do people just not see me as someone with enough drive to succeed in a highly competitive and objective market?

weird dreams

2010-11-04T20:25:00.000-04:00

Someone once told me that they would swear I do acid because of all of the bizarre dreams I have. Last night's may have been my strangest yet.

Last night I had this dream that I was apparently best friends with Will Truman and Grace Adler (from Will & Grace, obvs), because we all lived together. There was a blackmail plot involving the kidnapping of Mel Gibson, and it was up to me to find him. I was given this phone number and told that the person that would answer this call would be the one to give me the first clue to finding him. When I called, Barbara Eden answered. We talked for less than two minutes, but I got the information that I needed to take the next step to finding Mel. Unfortunately, she worked in a brothel, and the line I called was some sort of phone sex line. Will got really pissed at me because they charged $600 a minute for calling this line and I was running on his dime. So I apologized profusely and explained the kidnapping, but he still wasn't happy that I had to call this whorehouse in order to get my first clue.

I can understand the Will & Grace part. I've been watching that show a lot lately. But Barbara Eden in a brothel? And why in the name of all that is holy would I give a shit about finding Mel Gibson?

I sincerely apologize to Barbara Eden for dreaming that she was a prostitute.

It may take a long time, but it gets better.

2010-10-28T11:20:00.000-04:00

I haven't actually watched any of the "It Gets Better" videos. I should. But now that I don't have Flash on my work computer and am very rarely online anywhere else, I just haven't made the time. I think these videos are a great idea, and it's sad that so many young people had to take their own lives for the world to take notice.

I just read Patton Oswalt's "It Gets Better" blog. What he said really resonated with me, mainly because I have been on both sides of the fence, just as he was. I really don't like to talk about the hot button issues in most cases. I'm not very eloquent, and I am led completely by emotion, so I tend to get heated or upset when I talk about things that I feel any sort of passion for. But bullying is something that really strikes a chord with me. It's something that has followed me as long as I can remember.

My life was pretty normal until about the age of 9. I had endured slight teasing from relatives as a child (their way of showing that they "cared"), but I had a happy childhood up until that point. Then my uncle died in a car accident and everything changed. Mainly, I see my life as two parts at this point: before Ace died, and after. After he died, I changed because everything around me changed. Fifth grade was just awkward. I got glasses, I was going through a lot of physical changes, and I was trying to fit in at school as well as dealing with my family's massive grief. When I went to sixth grade, I made a lot of new friends. But I was hanging out with people who did things I didn't do: curse, smoke, do drugs, have sex. I felt really out of place. I learned how to use my words at that point. Most of the words I used were to make me sound tougher, saltier. I became acquainted with one of my dearest friends to this day, sarcasm, and I threw around curse words like nobody's business. Boys started paying attention to me at that point. Or maybe it was I who started paying attention to them. I often used sarcasm, and still do, as a defense mechanism. I'm sure at some point I hurt someone else by doing this, because I used my sarcasm to deflect the insults of others. My avoidance of pain likely caused some pain of its own.

Middle school was when things started to get harder. I was playing sports and trying to do things to make me seem cooler, but on the inside I was completely insecure. Some of the people I befriended used me. They saw how sweet and naive I was and would be my friend when it was convenient for them, then run and talk about me behind my back (this I found out after the fact). Our lockers were arranged by grade, then alphabetically, so I was privileged to be in the presence of someone who made my life miserable for two years. Ben insulted me because he liked me, but I took it all to heart. He called me Big Riggs (which in retrospect is hilarious because he was probably three times my size, though I was smaller then), he would close my locker while I was trying to get in it; he would run up behind me after math class and kick me in the ass, then run away laughing. I hated him. One morning at our lockers he harassed me so heavily that I broke down into tears and slapped him to get him to go away.

Middle school was also when my unique interests began to blossom. I had always been into pop culture, especially classic film and television, for as long as I could remember. It all grew out of the influences of my parents' interests, but my interests took on a life of their own. By freshman year of high school, I was a full-blown weirdsmobile. (I spent lunches my eighth grade year discussing the virtues of Bette Midler and Meryl Streep, and talked a friend of mine into taking home the new Bette Midler album Bathhouse Betty, which she called weird.) One of my main torturers in high school was someone that was in my circle of friends, a highly intelligent girl who had no ambition or drive, and was still struggling through community college last I heard. Meghann and I were in choir together, both first sopranos so we were around each other a lot, especially our freshman and sophomore years. She confided her sexual exploits in me (and probably anyone who would listen, honestly), and I thought she was my friend. But she insulted me constantly, and also insulted celebrities I had an affinity for just because she knew it bothered me. Sometimes even one of my best friends would jump in on this one. Meghann would throw out these insults and then laugh about it right in front of my face. I had never done anything to her to deserve this treatment. Even though I thought she was a disgusting fat pig with no moral standards, I respected her enough to let her live her life the way she chose without ever offering my own commentary or advice. Meghann made me feel awful about myself. I was worse than dirt to her. And when my friends were around her, she rubbed off on them, and they worked to make me feel like shit too. Although it was my quirks that people mocked me for, the humiliation I felt only made me seclude myself more.

Thankfully, it was life after high school that freed me. I had a few saving graces in high school (my tried and true friend Jade, who has always been there for me; chorus; Mrs. Vivian Elder, my senior English teacher, who was the first adult to treat me with the respect of a peer and to show me that my opinions had value), but it was being out in the adult world that really allowed me to be myself unabashedly. I got a job, where I was surrounded by women of different ages who all valued me, and I them. I was accepted into the University of Kentucky and moved to Lexington, which was like starting life all over again. And each year of my life since high school has been better and better. I've met so many wonderful people who not only accept me for who I am, but embrace my strangeness. Some have even liked me more simply because of my uniqueness, which is something I only dreamed of in high school. Although I am still plagued by insecurities I developed growing up, I have changed considerably, and I know that with each year I become more confident in my own abilities.

Life is only what you make it. Things get better if you let them. There are people out there who will love you for who you are. It may take a while to find them, but they're out there. Self-expression is so important to maintain your sanity. Find something that you can find joy in, and if that's the only thing you have, cling to it. Youth is all about survival, and if you can make it out with your sanity, no matter how you have to maintain it, then that's what's important. The rest will follow.

Bette. HBO. Heaven.

2010-10-26T16:21:00.000-04:00

Sorry to cut the last post kind of short. While I was in the midst of trying to make that post, I found out some fucking outstanding news, so it distracted me from my money woes. Not a bad thing, right?

Ever since Bette Midler opened her show in Las Vegas, The Showgirl Must Go On, in February of 2008, all of her fans were wondering if/when this show was coming to DVD. After all, Bette's last live DVD was from 1993's Experience the Divine tour (which is only available in Region 2, boo). While it has been said before that the DVD is not happening, Bette announced on Martha Stewart's TV show today that HBO will be airing a Showgirl concert special on New Year's Eve. This is great news, because Bette's HBO specials in the past have always been released on some form of visual media (usually video, which was ages ago). I am ecstatic over this. I was not able to go see Showgirl in person, so this is my chance to see it finally! The only news I could receive that would be better than this would be that Bette's 2000 sitcom was being released on DVD. Now if that ever happens, I think I will literally keel over.

I hate hate hate money.

2010-10-26T15:30:00.000-04:00

Ladies and germs, it's that time of year again. Time for Lora to be stressed out over money! Wheeeeeee! This is when a real-life Karen Walker would come in handy. I could be her little Jackie. And yes, I would perform sexual favors for Karen in exchange for her being my sugar momma.

I decided I needed a new wardrobe, so I've been working on that. Then, I bought Lady Gaga tickets. And I'm going to Chicago this weekend. None of these things can I actually afford. So most of it I'm paying for on credit and paying back. But paying it back is the issue anyway. I doubt I'll get a Christmas bonus because business has not been good for us this year. Starting next month I have to pay $5 extra on rent, plus with the cold weather coming (eventually, I guess) my electric bill will be way higher than it has been. Right now I'm just praying for a raise. I should have nothing to worry about there, but what if they decide not to give raises this year? I'm screwed. Our insurance premiums already went up, and it wasn't that much but I'm making like $3.50 less each month, which doesn't help with my increased rent. I get this way a couple times a year, but to be honest, if I made more money, I would just spend more money.

Bootleg Betty, how I will miss thee.

2010-10-19T16:37:00.001-04:00

This article makes me incredibly sad:

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2010/sep/25/lawyers-argue-r-j-stories-web-arent-protected-copy/

Copyright infrigement is bullshit, as far as I'm concerned. The purpose of the internet is for information sharing, so as long as someone isn't trying to pass off a story as their own, then what harm is being done? Due to what you read in this article, my favorite website, my main source of news for my favorite celebrity, is shutting down at the end of this month. I think our country has far worse problems than people sharing articles/files. I'm all about supporting artists and writers, but why should they get a piece of everything? I mean, file sharing, for example. Many files shared between people in the fan communities I am in are files that were not and never have been for sale. So if people share things that were never meant for profit in the first place, then what are they doing wrong? I am so tired of the almighty dollar running everything.

I mean, I have worked my ass off since I turned 18. I worked full-time while attending college full-time, and everything I have I paid for myself. I'm making the payments on my student loans, I'm paying for my car, and I pay every penny of my rent and bills. My dad has worked for over 30 years, earning money to build a home and support a wife and two children, even working nights and working two jobs so that my mother could stay home with us before we started school. It is not fair for some people to have to work like that when other people do not do a day of work in their lives and get to travel extensively and coast through life, all on someone else's penny. I am sick of it all. I am sick of this country, this government, and people with their self-righteousness.

All of that because my Bette source is getting taken away...geez.

10/25 UPDATE: Bootleg Betty is not closing just yet! Don has decided to hold off at least until the end of the year, and is exploring his options to save the site! Yay!

2010-10-13T13:42:00.000-04:00

This is a picture of the ladies of the Cyrus family, minus big sister Brandi. That cute little bundle of joy in the middle is Noah. She is 10.

I cannot begin to say how many things are wrong with this picture. Let's forget the whore on the right and the trash on the left and just focus on Noah. Am I mistaken, or is that blue poking out at the top of her shirt a bra? No one should be seeing this girl's bra! And those shorts are ridiculous. I just cannot understand why someone would let their TEN YEAR OLD out in public in this!

photo via D-Listed

A Note on the Bullying of Gay Teens

2010-10-07T11:53:00.000-04:00

It is a sad, sad day for America when young people would rather die than endure one more day of hatred and relentless persecution. As a mother, I am ashamed of all the parents who have failed to teach even the most basic human lessons to their children, "Live and let Live" and "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The normal, everyday kindness that we took for granted just a few years ago is a thing of the past, and I for one, mourn it deeply. Technology, the Internet, with its anonymity, have allowed people to behave like beasts, pouncing on the weak and howling with laughter when they inflict a wound, that only the strongest could survive. What are we doing to ourselves? How are we to survive as a nation, when hate seems to be the only thing that motivates us??

Four children are dead by their own hand because they just couldn't take any more. How many more are we going to sacrifice to the hyenas? Isn't it time to stop??

-- Bette Midler

Stevie Challenge - Days 29 & 30

2010-10-05T20:15:00.002-04:00

Behind again. Sorry. It's been a busy couple of days.

Day 29 - How has Stevie Nicks inspired you?

I find Stevie inspiring in many ways. She is a fantastic role model, a strong female rocker in a time when women were just starting to be taken seriously in music. Her legacy still stands strong today, as she is constantly working, writing and touring. She has overcome adversity (public breakups, multiple drug addictions) and achieved success where many have failed. I admire Stevie for the fact that she doesn't care what other people think of her. She has maintained her own personal style throughout her career, even when many have said she should change her look. She has a unique voice, both literally and metaphorically, and her writing style is unabashedly original. Stevie has also inspired me as a single woman. She is proof positive that a woman can be sexy, successful, and well-respected without the constant presence of a man in her life.

Day 30 - Whatever tickles your fancy

I just love this song.

"Thrown Down"
from the Fleetwood Mac album Say You Will

He fell for her again, she watched it happen
Every day-- day by day
But more important-- night by night
She watched it all come into play
He held her hands, she listened to what he had to say

Thrown down... like a barricade
Maybe now he could prove to her
That he could be good for her
And they should be together

You've shaken your faith in me, no
You've shaken my faith in everything else
A decision no one makes, and now you're going home
Faith is a hard thing to hold on to
Something inside you says I don't have to
You're not like other people, you do what you want to
You're not like other people, you do what you want to
Thrown down... like a barricade
Maybe now he could prove to her
That he could be good for her
And they should be together

You say you're sorry...
Now you should walk away
But it's so overwhelming,
You have nothing left to say
You can sit outside his door and wait
Well, you can dedicate your pain to him

Oh, thrown down... like a barricade
Maybe now he could prove to her
That he could be good for her
And they should be together
About just how much he never really told her...
Thrown down...
About how difficult it had been to be without her...
Thrown down...

Stevie Challenge - Day 28

2010-10-02T12:44:00.000-04:00

Day 28 - Favorite Stevie Nicks photo

I love Stevie's profile. There's something about it...I just can't describe.

And those boots again. Gah.

But this photo deserves honorable mention just for one reason: hair!

Stevie Challenge - Days 26 & 27

2010-10-01T18:51:00.000-04:00

Day 26 - Favorite Stevie Nicks interview

My favorite interview clips of Stevie and the other Rumours-era line-up of Fleetwood Mac were featured in a made-for-TV documentary called Going Home. Very interesting, although extremely hard to find.

Day 27 - Your favorite outfit/fashion statement

Stevie's style is sooo fantastic and I love everything about it. The chiffon and draping cloth really works so well for her. That being said, my favorite part of her look has to be her shoes.

She still wears platform boots today, and can rock them like nobody else!

Stevie Challenge - Days 24 & 25

2010-09-28T18:41:00.000-04:00

Day 24 - Favorite Stevie Nicks tumblr

Don't know any.

Day 25 - Favorite Stevie Nicks song character

This is one I had to tweak a little from the original challenge, since Stevie is not an actress and doesn't have any "movie characters". There have been film characters inspired by Stevie, namely Gypsy from the movie Gypsy 83, but I don't consider that to be close to the same thing. So, I decided to do a song character. Stevie has lots of these. From Jane (Goodall) to Greta Garbo (who has two separate Stevie songs named after her) to Alice (in Wonderland) to Juliet, the list goes on and on. My favorite of these characters, however, has to be Rhiannon, from the song of the same name. The real Rhiannon is a mystical creature, an enchantress, with a basis in mythology. But, in song, Rhiannon is irresistible, beautiful, bewitching - the one you can never have but still can't help but long for. And I for one, would "love to love her."

Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

2010-09-28T17:46:00.002-04:00

2011 nominees have been announced:

http://www.popeater.com/2010/09/28/rock-and-roll-hall-of-fame-2011-nominees/

And my predictions are:
Neil Diamond
Donovan
J. Geils Band
Chic
Tom Waits
Darlene Love
Dr. John

But I do have my fingers crossed for Donna Summer, and the Beastie Boys are a really solid possibility. I just don't like them.

Stevie Challenge - Days 22 & 23

2010-09-27T20:32:00.000-04:00

Day 22 - Favorite tour

Gold Dust Tour, 2005, because I got to see her during that tour! First time!

Day 23 - Favorite performance

I loved her live version of "Beauty and the Beast" during this tour. It was incredibly moving.

Stevie Challenge - Day 21

2010-09-24T18:57:00.000-04:00

Day 21 - First Stevie Nicks item you ever got

I'm pretty sure it was the DVD of Destiny Rules or Fleetwood Mac's two-disc greatest hits compilation.

Stevie Challenge - Days 19 & 20

2010-09-23T18:14:00.000-04:00

Day 19 - Favorite Stevie Nicks magazine cover

It is so hard to find these! Bette sites have these things archived. Stevie sites do not. I was able to find a couple of decent Rolling Stone covers.

Here's one from 1981 that I would consider to be an "iconic" Stevie image.

But I prefer this 1997 cover:

Smoldering!

Day 20 - A Stevie Nicks-related dream you've had

Can't think of one right off-hand. My dream state has been blurring with reality lately due to my weird sleeping habits. I'll get back to you on this one.

Stevie Challenge: Day 18

2010-09-21T20:05:00.002-04:00

Day 18 - Favorite album or single artwork

1982, Fleetwood Mac's Mirage

Stevie Challenge - Days 16 & 17

2010-09-20T20:26:00.002-04:00

Oh noes! I is behind!

Day 16 - Favorite physical feature of Stevie Nicks'

Oh, her hair, without a doubt.

Day 17 - Least favorite Stevie Nicks song

Difficult question, seeing as how I love pretty much all of them. I think I will say "Docklands" from Street Angel. Not a bad song, but I just don't connect with the lyrics. Of course, Stevie didn't write this, so that could be why. It's a weak album anyway, so I'm not surprised that I would go with a song from this as my least favorite.

Stevie Challenge - Day 15

2010-09-18T17:03:00.003-04:00

Day 15 - Favorite Stevie Nicks-related website

For archival stuff, The Nicks Fix is king. Photos, lyrics, articles, links to buy merchandise, Stevie journal entries. For news updates, I'm visiting Stevie Nicks News now. Sometimes there are big lulls (especially compared to Bootleg Betty, which is literally updated almost every day, and often multiple times a day), but all in all it's a very helpful site, especially now that Stevie's working on a new album. I know what articles are where without having to search for them. It's great.

Stevie Challenge - Days 13 & 14

2010-09-17T19:34:00.001-04:00

I was away from a computer all day yesterday, so it's catch-up time!

Day 13 - A song that makes you cry

Almost any day, the song that makes me cry the easiest would be "Silver Springs". This song was the B-side to "Go Your Own Way" but was cut from the initial release of Rumours. It gained a little popularity when featured on The Dance, but that version is different and I definitely prefer the earlier recording.

Day 14 - A song that forces you to dance

No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I always have to dance to "Stand Back". The opening bars are irresistible. You can't help but move!

Stevie Challenge - Day 12

2010-09-15T18:59:00.005-04:00

Day 12 - Your favorite music video

I can't embed this video because it's an "official" video, but here's the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG2r3MMzm2Q

I love this video for a couple of different reasons. First of all, the video is just very well done. Conceptually and visually, it's pretty stunning. (This video is from 2001.) Also, the peach dress that Stevie wears looks PHENOMENAL on her. Unfortunately the quality of the linked video isn't that great. Stevie's skin is too reflective. She isn't supposed to look like a white blob.

This video deserves honorable mention. Watch the breakdown that begins around the 3:26 mark.

D-Listed

2010-09-15T13:25:00.004-04:00

D-Listed CAPTION THIS for September 14th - runner up right here!

http://www.dlisted.com/node/38839

UPDATE: I did it again for the 20th!

http://www.dlisted.com/node/38920

Stevie Challenge - Days 10 & 11

2010-09-14T13:55:00.003-04:00

Day 10 - A Stevie Nicks-related video

Love this!

Day 11 - A Stevie Nicks-related photo you took

June 19, 2009 - Nashville, TN

Stevie Challenge - Days 8 & 9

2010-09-13T15:37:00.000-04:00

Day 8 - A photo that makes you go UNF

Um, hello.

Day 9 - Your favorite era

Difficult question. Vocally and physically, Stevie was at her finest in the early years. But even with weight gain, she was still smoking. Creatively, there have been fluxes, but that's the case with every artist. I'm very fond of '80s Stevie. She made her largest transitions during this decade also. Additionally, I am a huge fan of big hair. HUGE. The mid-late '80s are boosted for me because of Stevie's fantabulous hair. I also like the Stevie of the '00s because she has really pumped up her image again over the last five years or so. Touring, working on new music, and getting her voice back - this is the Stevie of now. Taking all of these things into consideration, I have to say that my "favorite era" is probably the '80s. Her solo career began, hit its stride, flopped; a lot of changes were happening professionally and personally. This decade was full of change for Stevie, and things started and ended so differently that you have to respect all the things that happened to/for Stevie during the 1980s.

Stevie Challenge - Day 7

2010-09-10T19:02:00.000-04:00

Day 07 - A photo that makes you laugh

Oh Grammy producers, what were you thinking?

Stevie Challenge - Day 6

2010-09-09T19:30:00.002-04:00

Day 06 - Least favorite Stevie Nicks album

As I believe I mentioned in an earlier post, all of Stevie's albums fit to certain moods. Having to choose a least favorite, I guess I'd have to go with 1994's Street Angel. It's not a bad album at all; I actually like quite a few of the songs. It's just not full of bona fide hits. Plus, this was after Stevie left Fleetwood Mac and during the time she was addicted to Klonopin. Having just left Fleetwood Mac, she should have had stronger material built up for this album because her good stuff wasn't being saved for the Mac, but the pill addiction had her sort of sedated so she wasn't quite up to par energy-wise. "Blue Denim" just about single-handedly saves this album though. Fan-fucking-tastic song.

Stevie Challenge - Day 5

2010-09-08T15:49:00.003-04:00

Day 05 - A photo of Stevie Nicks in the year that you were born

From the liner of Rock a Little. Photo by Herbert Worthington via The Nicks Fix.

Stevie Challenge - Day 4

2010-09-07T18:06:00.000-04:00

Day 04 - Favorite homage to Stevie in film

This is, without a doubt, the scene in School of Rock where Joan Cusack's school principal drunkenly sings "Edge of Seventeen" in a bar. Priceless!

On a sort of Stevie-related note, I'm considering enrolling in an audio engineering certification program of some kind. It's something I've been interested in since watching Destiny Rules, the Fleetwood Mac documentary I mentioned in an earlier Stevie challenge. I'm looking for a change in my life, and pursuing this may be just what I need. I have yet to decide where or when to do this, but I'm looking at SAE in Nashville as a strong possibility. The financial aspect of all this is going to be the major decider, so we'll see what sort of info I can find out about scholarships and financial aid before I make a decision.

Stevie Challenge - Day 3

2010-09-06T13:18:00.000-04:00

Day 03 - Favorite quote

Stevie's best "quotes" are song lyrics, but I did find this one on http://inherownwords.com/, a great little compilation of Stevie quotes. The following is from Musicians in Tune in 1992.

"I believe I was definitely sent down here to take people away for a little while, to make them happy."

Stevie Challenge - Day 2

2010-09-05T00:53:00.000-04:00

I'm bored, so I'll go ahead and get a jumpstart on the next entry.

Day 02 – Favorite album, and favorite song off that album

Aaaahhh! This is sooo hard. The absolute best thing about Stevie is her songwriting, and it is so hard to pick a favorite album because they all really fit well together. While I love the fact that Bette's style can go all over the place, and with such ease on her part, Stevie's albums always have a similar sound as a whole (sometimes with the exception of one or two songs). The fact that her albums are so cohesive makes it really hard to choose between them. Each one means something to me based upon a mood or situation taking place at a certain time. There is no doubt that her first two albums are her best. She was at a high point both creatively and vocally, and those two albums came before her addictions really started to overwhelm her (cocaine first, then Klonopin later on). Don't get me wrong; I love cocaine-addled, electro-pop Stevie as much as I love Stevie as rock goddess, but the "rock goddess" part in her does contain a certain mystique. Keeping all of these things in mind, I shall now make my decision on favorite album.

Bella Donna, 1981. Stevie's first solo album. This was the beginning of "Is Fleetwood Mac breaking up?", that age old question. 30 years later, and they're still intact, for the most part. Bella Donna featured a lot of great songs, and when it came time for Stevie to release a boxed set 17 years later, eight of the ten tracks on this album made it onto the compilation. While the timeless "Edge of Seventeen", "Leather and Lace", and "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around" are on this album, I have to choose "After the Glitter Fades" as my favorite song. It sums up the rock and roll lifestyle so beautifully, and contains this line: "Even though the living is sometimes laced with lies, it's alright. The feeling remains even after the glitter fades." Perfect.

30 Day Stevie Nicks Challenge - Day 1

2010-09-04T14:19:00.002-04:00

I am going to have to tweak this challenge just a little bit so that it will fit Stevie since she is not an actress, but I think I can make it work.

Day 01 – When and how were you first introduced to ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks?
Day 02 – Favorite album, and favorite song off that album
Day 03 – Favorite quote
Day 04 – ~~Favorite Bette Midler movie character~~ Favorite homage to Stevie in film
Day 05 – A photo of ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks in the year that you were born
Day 06 – Least favorite ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks album
Day 07 – A photo that makes you laugh
Day 08 – A photo that makes you go UNF
Day 09 – Your favorite era
Day 10 – A ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks-related video
Day 11 – A ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks-related photo you took
Day 12 – Your favorite music video
Day 13 – A song that makes you cry
Day 14 – A song that forces you to dance
Day 15 – Favorite ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks-related website
Day 16 – Favorite physical feature of Bette Midler Stevie Nicks’
Day 17 – Least favorite ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks song
Day 18 – Favorite album or single artwork
Day 19 – Favorite ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks magazine cover
Day 20 – A ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks-related dream you’ve had
Day 21 – First ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks item you ever got
Day 22 – Favorite tour
Day 23 – Favorite performance
Day 24 – Favorite ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks tumblr
Day 25 – ~~Favorite Bette Midler movie~~ Favorite Stevie Nicks song character
Day 26 – Favorite Bette Midler Stevie Nicks interview
Day 27 – Your favorite outfit/fashion statement
Day 28 – Favorite ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks photo
Day 29 – How has ~~Bette Midler~~ Stevie Nicks inspired you?
Day 30 – Whatever tickles your fancy

Let the games begin!

Day 01 – When and how were you first introduced to Stevie Nicks?

Being the music aficionado that I am, and considering my father is a lover of all things classic rock, I had been aware of Stevie Nicks for some time. I knew about her affiliation with Fleetwood Mac and really enjoyed many of their songs. Stevie really became a notable presence in my life in 2003. Fleetwood Mac was releasing a new album and embarking on a world tour, the first in six years. I watched a lot of Vh1 back then, and promos for a new documentary about the making of this album were all over the place. I recorded the documentary, Destiny Rules, and watched it late one night in my room. This was a turning point for me. I was already more than intrigued by Stevie; her voice and her drive, and her sense of humor, in this documentary are why I fell in love with her. This was the beginning of my obsession with both her and Fleetwood Mac. I now have all of her albums in addition to all Fleetwood Mac albums of which Stevie was a part.

Bette Challenge - Days 27-30

2010-09-03T20:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, I am a few days behind on my Bette Challenge. It has been a really busy week at work. We just had one person in our department move on to other ventures, one person's wife had a baby, and another person is on vacation. Being short-staffed + end of the month rush = agony. But I digress. I suppose tonight I should finish up the Bette Challenge, but seeing as how it's already past 8:00, I don't know that I can complete my assignment in time.

Day 27 – Your favorite outfit/fashion statement

Bette's been an entertainer for over 40 years. I can't choose one outfit to sum her up. I love Bette as the trashy rocker and the demure humanitarian, but I have to say that I do enjoy my trashy Bette quite a bit. So, in the spirit of the foul-mouthed version of our diva, I shall post this picture. I always did love this dress on her.

Day 28 – Favorite Bette Midler photo

Surely this one needs no explanation.

Day 29 – How has Bette Midler inspired you?

Bette Midler has inspired me to be whatever I want to be, to not take criticism or shit from anyone. She has inspired me to love deeply and passionately with abandon, to think of the legacy I am leaving behind, and to give back to the world in any way that I can. She has inspired me with her humor in every role she has played. Her smile puts love into the world. Bette has inspired me with her voice, one that is not technically perfect but that contains amounts of raw emotion that most singers are not even capable of. She has inspired me in the way that she has raised her daughter, with an appreciation of fine art, hard work and intellect, and a sense of self that is astonishing in people our age. Bette has inspired me in her charity work, and the fact that she is not afraid to get in and get her hands dirty when necessary. She has also inspired me by just being human. She has had messy breakups, personal disappointments, professional failures, and of course has put her foot in her mouth many times (something that I know all too well). Yet she triumphs, through all of this, and I suppose that is the greatest inspiration of all.

Day 30 – Whatever tickles your fancy

I will end my Bette challenge with these lyrics, which I find to be entirely appropriate for the occassion.

"Every Road Leads Back to You"
from the soundtrack to For The Boys

Old friend, here we are,
after all the years and tears
and all that we've been through.
It feels so good to see you.
Lookin' back in time,
there've been other friends and other lovers,
but no other one like you.
All my life, no one ever has known me better.

I must have traveled down a thousand roads.
Been so many places, seen so many faces,
always on my way to somethin' new.
Ohhh, but it doesn't matter,
'cause no matter where I go,
every road leads back,
every road just seems to lead me back to you.

Old friend, there were times
I didn't want to see your face
or hear your name again.
Now those times are far behind me.
It's so good to see your smile.
I'd forgotten how nobody else
could make me smile the way you do.
All this time, you're the one I still want beside me.

I must have traveled down a thousand roads.
Been so many places, seen so many faces,
always on my way to somethin' new.
Ohh, but it doesn't matter,
'cause no matter where I go,
every road leads back,
every road just seems to lead me back to you.

I must have traveled down a thousand roads.
Been so many places, seen so many faces,
always on my way to somethin' new.
Ohh, but it doesn't matter,
'cause no matter where I go,
every road leads back,
every road just seems to lead me back,
every road leads back,
every road just seems to lead me back to you.
Every road just seems to lead me back to you.

Bette Challenge - Day 26

2010-08-30T20:51:00.000-04:00

Day 26 - Favorite Bette Midler interview

I can't find more than one really poor quality clip of this on YouTube, but Bette was on Oprah in January of 2008 with her daughter Sophie, and this is my favorite interview just because it is the first time Sophie was ever on TV. I LOVE SOPHIE. The only thing I love more than Bette is seeing Sophie and Bette together. They are the cutest mother-daughter duo of all time, and this Oprah episode was just so full of adorable that I had to choose it as my favorite! I mean, just look at them!

Bette Challenge - Day 25

2010-08-28T20:43:00.001-04:00

Day 25 - Favorite Bette Midler movie character

Cecilia Carol Bloom, Beaches. This role was written for Bette, and it shows. The character is so much like her stage persona that it's ridiculous. CC is brash and selfish, but she's also immensely talented and driven. I love that character, and Bette played her so well.

Bette Challenge - Day 24

2010-08-27T15:02:00.001-04:00

I'm skipping today's challenge (Favorite Bette Midler tumblr) because I don't know of any since I'm not on tumblr. Plus I'm a little "meh" today, so I'm just gonna go back to listening to the Divine Madness soundtrack now. Bye bye then.

Bette Challenge - Day 23

2010-08-26T20:16:00.002-04:00

Day 23 - Favorite performance

Gee, this challenge could be interpreted in a couple different ways. Favorite live vocal performance, favorite acting performance? I don't know!!! I know later I have to choose a favorite movie character, which I already have picked out, but I'm not sure what to do with this one. I guess I can choose one of each.

My favorite live Bette performance, since I haven't physically seen her live, would have to be any of the Delores DeLago bits that she does in her shows. I love Delores! She's my favorite of Bette's characters. I don't know if it's the campy reworkings of classic songs, the wheelchair choreography, or the mermaid costumes, but everything Delores does is phenomenal. Delores for President!

Favorite acting performance without a doubt is in The Rose. She was raw and vulnerable, and also completely unexperienced as an actress at the time. No one could have done with that part what she did, and her vocals from that movie are just astounding and so different from the idea of Bette that everyone has. (Rocker chick versus easy listening queen, what she's known as nowadays.)

Bette Challenge - Days 21 & 22

2010-08-25T15:39:00.003-04:00

Day 21 - First Bette Midler item you ever got

The first actual Bette item I ever got was a cassette copy of Experience the Divine, her greatest hits. I bought it myself. Most of my Bette stuff I bought myself. My family is not terribly supportive of my obsession with Bette.

Day 22 - Favorite tour

I can't really pick a favorite tour since I haven't seen any of them :( , but by name alone I think my favorite one is De Tour. I really wish I could have seen her Vegas show The Showgirl Must Go On though.

Bette Challenge - Day 20

2010-08-23T20:31:00.002-04:00

Day 20 - A Bette Midler-related dream you've had

I've had a lot of Bette-related dreams in my time. I remember one where I saw her driving around town. What town, I'm not sure exactly, but it was whatever small place I was living in in my dream. Anyway, I saw her get in her car and tried to flag her down because I wanted to meet her, but she didn't see me. So I went to get my sister and said, "Bette is here! We have to go find her!" We followed her trail and ended up at this enormous house. We didn't knock or anything, just went in. But the inside of the house was like a post office, so we kept walking around trying to find the house part of it hoping to find Bette. I don't think we found her in this particular dream, but I had similar ones that followed, all with the same post office/house in the dream. That always struck me as odd. Anyway, there's one of my dreams that I remembered.

I remember another one that really just looked like a TV commercial for a new album. It was a double album of all covers, but she did pretty well known songs, including "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain. As familiar as I am with the nuances of her voice, I was able to recreate her voice in my dream and actually dreamed her singing that entire song. I even visualized Shania Twain's video for that song with Bette in her place. It was so strange.

Bette Challenge - Days 18 & 19

2010-08-23T00:42:00.002-04:00

Day 18 – Favorite album or single artwork

Some People's Lives, 1990. The profile, the hair, 'nuff said.

Day 19 – Favorite Bette Midler magazine cover

People Weekly, 1975. I love this cover because she just looks so happy.

Bette Challenge - Days 16 & 17

2010-08-20T15:18:00.001-04:00

Day 16 – Favorite physical feature of Bette Midler’s

My favorite feature of Bette's is likely the same one that causes so many other people to find her unattractive - her nose. Much like Barbra Streisand, Bette's nose gives her face character, and also creates a very striking profile.

Day 17 – Least favorite Bette Midler song

I'd say this is a toss-up between "Let Me Just Follow Behind" and "Tragedy" from my least favorite album, Songs For the New Depression. Bette's vocal performance is fine, they're just terribly weak songs. Beneath her talent.

Bette Challenge - Day 15

2010-08-18T18:45:00.001-04:00

Day 15 – Favorite Bette Midler-related website

Bootleg Betty!!!! The only Bette website that truly matters. Up-to-date news, archival photos and articles, humor, free streaming music and video, and links to everything else that you might need (if you can't find it on this site, that is). I visit it daily.

Bette Challenge - Day 14

2010-08-17T19:28:00.002-04:00

Day 14 – A song that forces you to dance

This is really between three songs, but I will choose the one that, as far as I know, has only been recorded by Bette. This a dance track from her 2000 album Bette, called "Bless You Child". It's a simple song, with an "I'm so glad you're you" message. Incredibly catchy.

Bette Challenge - Days 10, 11, 12 & 13

2010-08-16T20:17:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the delay in posting again. My birthday was Saturday and I had three days off from work, so my plate was a little full. Catch-up time again today.

Day 10 – A Bette Midler-related video

Pretty much the greatest moment in television history, as far as I'm concerned.

Day 11 – A Bette Midler-related photo you took

Day 12 – Your favorite music video

The reason why this is my favorite video occurs at about the 3:03 mark.
http://www.spike.com/video/bette-midler-to/2789082

Day 13 – A song that makes you cry

I could name multiple Bette songs that make me cry, but one that many people probably don't know is the Randy Newman-penned "I Think It's Going to Rain Today". The song is moving enough on its own, but what really brings the tears is when I hear this song during Beaches. It comes at a pivotal point in the movie, when Hillary finds out that the disease she has (viral cardiomyopathy) is fatal. I blubber every time.

Bette Challenge - Day 9

2010-08-12T17:15:00.004-04:00

Day 09 – Your favorite era

Picture it: Los Angeles, mid 1980s. Coming off of Bette's success in The Rose and the accompanying Academy Award nomination, the pressure was high. There was a small slump with the release of the complete and utter flop Jinxed. Then, Michael Eisner said, "Hey, this lady's been used all wrong. She needs to be in comedy. Let's make it happen." So Disney/Touchstone signed her to a three movie deal, and the Divine One was able to reinvent herself and create a new era in her career.

The mid-to-late 80s is my favorite era because:

1) Bette was able to display her spectacular comedic flair and co-star in three hilariously brilliant movies, Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Ruthless People, and Outrageous Fortune.
2) She ended the decade with Beaches, one of my top five favorite movies of all time, and Stella, which was a commercial and critical flop but a movie that I absolutely adore.
3) the soundtrack to Beaches
4) THIS HAIR

Bette Challenge - Day 8

2010-08-11T13:47:00.003-04:00

Day 08 – A photo that makes you go UNF

That figure! Rawr!

I am all alone, there is no one here beside me.

2010-08-11T13:30:00.004-04:00

I'm a little disappointed today, for a lot of reasons. One of those reasons is because my birthday extravaganza that I had planned for the upcoming weekend isn't going to be as spectacular as I hoped. Secondly, I was going to go through my Bette files on my external hard drive to find a picture for today's challenge. Going through my stuff, I realized that I had deleted all of the pictures I once had. I've cleaned off my computer because I expect it to fail at any moment, and I don't want to lose any files, so I transfered my things to an external hard drive, but decided to delete my celebrity pictures that I had saved because I've "outgrown" that sort of thing. So the pictures I had of Bette, Stevie, Judy Garland, Rosemary Clooney, Agnes Moorehead...all gone. All that was left were the two pictures I have of Bette and Stevie together, and a few collages I had made to use as wallpapers. I understand that I didn't transfer them because they're not "important" and they're not personal documents or pictures or things, but why did I think I wouldn't want them at all anymore? I am terribly sad now.

I'm having a hard time finding good Bette pictures, because no website has a definitive archive. Google searches often bring up "Bette" pictures that aren't of Bette at all, and I don't know what picture I want to use for the one that makes me go UNF. I really want it to be striking, so that other people can see why see makes me go UNF.

Sigh. I'm just a little depressed today. Don't mind me.

Bette Challenge - Day 7

2010-08-10T13:35:00.003-04:00

Day 07 – A photo that makes you laugh

Bette Challenge - Days 4, 5 & 6

2010-08-09T12:39:00.006-04:00

Saturday's entry slipped my mind, and I wasn't near a computer yesterday, so we're going to hit three in one today!

Day 04 – Favorite Bette Midler movie

The First Wives Club! Beaches is a very close second, but The First Wives Club was my movie back in high school. I saw this movie about 50 times before I ever even owned a copy of it. I had every word memorized, and I still know a lot of it now. Not only is it hysterically funny, it has a great cast and great music. Bette, Diane, and Goldie singing "You Don't Own Me" while reminiscing about their old friend Cynthia is one of my very favorite parts of the movie. Bette is adorable as the "fat friend", a role she always plays with relish. I seriously cannot think of one bad thing about this movie. I will always love it, no matter how cheesy it is or how dated it may be in the future. This movie is a symbol of my youth and my love of Bette. Love it!

Day 05 – A photo of Bette Midler in the year that you were born

Bette with her husband Martin at LiveAid in 1985

Day 06 – Least favorite Bette Midler album

Songs For the New Depression, 1976. After a phenomenal debut album and a sophomore effort that was also fairly well-received, Bette felt incredibly pressured to make her third album up to everyone's standards. The result was, quite frankly, a disaster. "Mr. Rockefeller" is the only song that has held up well over the years, and the Bob Dylan duet "Buckets of Rain" is a take-it-or-leave-it kind of song. "Marahuana" is campily delightful, but the rest of the album sounds the same: somber and way too toned-down. Up to this point, Bette's sultry songstress had been thriving but she just tried to hard to do something different with Depression. While the album does have its moments, it's definitely not a great work, and would not be recommended by any Bette fan to a non-fan.

Bette Challenge - Day 3

2010-08-06T18:47:00.002-04:00

Day 03 – Favorite quote

Being as Bette is filled with wonderful jokes as well as wonderful nuggets of wisdom, this is difficult. My old standby, of course, is "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!" But I think my favorite Bette-related quote has to be the motto of her All Girl Productions (which no longer exists). The motto was this: "We hold a grudge." I like it because it is very befitting of my own philosophies. I wish I could remember more quotes from interviews instead of just these small little snippets, but these shorter quotes are easier to remember, in addition to being pasted all over the internet to serve as a quick reminder. My mind may not be totally full of Bette to the point that I remember every word she ever uttered, but my heart definitely makes up for what my memory lacks.

Bette Challenge - Day 2

2010-08-05T21:32:00.004-04:00

Day 02 – Favorite album, and favorite song off that album

This is likely to be the most difficult day for me, considering how vastly different each of Bette's albums are. Her live stuff is always fantastic just because it gives you a taste of what a great all-around performer she is. Her debut The Divine Miss M is really unique and almost has the sound of something that was independently produced. I love the ...Rosemary Clooney Songbook because that album combines two of my favorite things (Bette and Rosemary, natch). But I guess I would have to say my favorite is Bathhouse Betty. It was the first new album she released after I became a fan, so it holds that sentimental significance for me. Also, she did a live performance of one of the songs off that album on The Rosie O'Donnell Show and the whole portion of the show that she did that day was so much fun! I love the dress and wig she wore on the cover of that album, but really it's just a great album. The songs vary from moving to zany; there's absolutely no way to put a label on it, and that's why I love that album!

Favorite song on Bathhouse Betty has to be "Lullaby in Blue". A song from the point of view of a mother who gave a child up for adoption, this never fails to bring me to tears. It's arguably one of Bette's best vocal performances on record. There are a few that deserve honorable mention as well, but I'd end up naming over half the songs, so we'll just leave it at that.

Bette Challenge - Day 1

2010-08-04T19:20:00.003-04:00

Day 01 – When and how were you first introduced to Bette Midler?

I don't remember. God's honest truth.

I can't remember a time in my life without Bette. As crazy as it may sound, life began with her. I remember being vaguely familiar with her at the age of eight or nine. For a time, I thought she sang the song "Let's Hear It For the Boy" from Footloose because I had never heard her sing and knew she had been in a movie called For The Boys. Putting those things together just sort of made sense to me at the time. I remember seeing previews on TV for The First Wives Club and wanting desperately to see it, but I wasn't allowed to go to the theater to see it for some reason. (I was 11 and the movie is only PG. Maybe it was the warning of "mild language.") At this point I began researching her on the internet every time I got the chance. I became obsessed - with her career, her life, her humor, her spirit, her music, her laugh. All of her.

So, I guess, definitively, the answer is because of The First Wives Club (which I have probably seen at least 75 times) but the seed was planted long before that.

30 Day Madonna Bette Midler Challenge

2010-08-04T18:49:00.004-04:00

An FB friend of mine had posted this 30 Day Madonna Challenge on her tumblr. I have decided to steal this and apply it to my own personal Madonna, Bette Midler. Should be fun. Here's the rundown:

Day 01 – When and how were you first introduced to ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler?
Day 02 – Favorite album, and favorite song off that album
Day 03 – Favorite quote
Day 04 – Favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler movie
Day 05 – A photo of ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler in the year that you were born
Day 06 – Least favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler album
Day 07 – A photo that makes you laugh
Day 08 – A photo that makes you go UNF
Day 09 – Your favorite era
Day 10 – A ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler-related video
Day 11 – A ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler-related photo you took
Day 12 – Your favorite music video
Day 13 – A song that makes you cry
Day 14 – A song that forces you to dance
Day 15 – Favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler-related website
Day 16 – Favorite physical feature of ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler’s
Day 17 – Least favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler song
Day 18 – Favorite album or single artwork
Day 19 – Favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler magazine cover
Day 20 – A ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler-related dream you’ve had
Day 21 – First ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler item you ever got
Day 22 – Favorite tour
Day 23 – Favorite performance
Day 24 – Favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler tumblr
Day 25 – Favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler movie character
Day 26 – Favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler interview
Day 27 – Your favorite outfit/fashion statement
Day 28 – Favorite ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler photo
Day 29 – How has ~~Madonna~~ Bette Midler inspired you?
Day 30 – Whatever tickles your fancy

The real "challenge" in all of this will be remembering to actually post every day for a month.

Agnes Moorehead

2010-07-28T18:11:00.004-04:00

I went with my friend Jade to Dayton, OH on Friday of last week. I really just wanted to go to have a mini-road trip, but the reason I specifically chose Dayton was because it is the burial place of Agnes Moorehead.

Agnes's name is one I'm sure is not familiar to a lot of people, but she was an intelligent and incredibly talented woman, and she is worth Googling if you ever get bored. She had a very prolific career as a character actress and radio personality, and she also worked as a teacher for a time. (She had a Masters in English - a woman after my own heart!) Most people who are familiar with her would know her as Endora on the beloved '60s sitcom Bewitched.

Visiting celebrity gravesites is sort of a dream of mine, if that's the proper way to phrase it. I would say hobby except for the fact that this would make only the second one I've visited, so I guess interest is a more appropriate term. Anyway, I found it to be an interesting experience this time around, and I am so lucky to have a friend like Jade to do these things with. Many people would be creeped out by it, but she enjoys the history aspect of it. She also accompanied me to Rosemary Clooney's gravesite a few years back.

Aside from the visit to Dayton Memorial Park's mausoleum, we went to the Dayton Art Institute, the Cox Arboretum MetroPark, and ate dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse in downtown Dayton. We had a very nice and full day, even if it was scorching hot.

The reason I post this now is because last night I had a dream about Aggie. It was present-day and I was at some sort of picnic or outdoor gathering. Jade was there as well. I saw Agnes from far away and kept trying to get closer to her because I wanted to meet her, but I never succeeded. The part about this dream that made it so unusual (I often have dreams about famous people and interacting with them) is that Agnes has been dead for 36 years and would be over 100 if she were alive today. Yet in my dream, she looked very youthful, as perhaps she might have looked if I were to see her up close and personal in the late '40s to early '50s. It was a very pleasant dream, and all I wanted was to be close enough to Agnes to admire her lovely face and hear her speak. A very interesting dream indeed.

Will the real Stevie Nicks please stand up?

2010-07-19T17:26:00.003-04:00

I love Twitter, and I will say that the main reason for this is that celebrities are on it. A lot of them probably have their assistants do the actual tweeting, but others do not, which is clear from their incessant rambling. Now, one of my favorite celebrities, Stevie Nicks, is completely technology-illiterate. If things are as they have been, she still doesn't even have a cell phone. Obviously her assistant does, and this is how communications with the outside world occur, but she doesn't do e-mail, none of that. For a while now, Stevie fans on Twitter have been swearing up and down that a completely inactive Twitter account called @RealStevieNicks is indeed Stevie. Personally, I didn't believe it and wanted to know why so many did. I was told that someone on Fox News helped Stevie actually set up the Twitter account on-air. They provided me a link to a video of this, but I actually never watched it. My major reasoning for not believing the hype, aside from Stevie's shun of all things technological, is that Lindsey Buckingham (@Lndsybuckingham) was not following this @RealStevieNicks account. Granted, his account has not been verified, but who is going to create a fake Lindsey Buckingham Twitter? Seriously?

So, sometime yesterday someone started tweeting from this account saying that they were Stevie's assistant Karen and that they were going to answer some fan questions. Stevie fans were FREAKING OUT. But all of the answers to said questions were incredibly vague, things that could have easily been written by someone not associated with Stevie personally. Well, @DaveStewart from the Eurythmics, who has been recording an album with Stevie over the last several weeks, tweeted this earlier today: "the @realstevienicks site is nothing to do with Stevie or karen , I'm on the phone with Karen now talking about tomorrow's recording"

I felt like shouting from the rooftops: "Bitches, I told you so!"

Now, in all this drama, apparently some sweet little girl tweeted something to Dave about how her birthday was today and he should get Stevie to sing to her. All he said was something along the lines of: "I'll show her your tweet, that's all I can do." She has been waiting on Twitter for HOURS for him to reply and let her know what Stevie said about her tweet. Okay. He never said that he would tweet anything to her. She just assumed this. So there she sits, tweeting away about all of her fantasies involving Stevie pulling her up on stage to sing to her, or calling her on the phone to sing to her, and how she's getting impatient waiting for Dave to tweet her back, and I just feel sorry for this girl. I mean, I can be pretty obsessive about my celebs, but this is just ridiculous. But hey, I guess at least it's a good thing that she doesn't have a job, because she might lose it being on Twitter constantly for the past seven hours.

Shirley MacLaine

2010-07-07T19:55:00.004-04:00

I watched the film The Apartment on Sunday night. It was the first time I had ever seen it. I am a big Shirley MacLaine fan, and have been ever since I developed a girl crush on her in middle school. I know (and adore) Shirley as the incarnation-believing wacktress that she has been for the last thirty years or so, so it's nice to see her as the wide-eyed ingenue. Her performance in this film was spectacular and really displays the range of her talents all together. Of course, she's also a decent singer/dancer, but as far as her acting talents go, nothing shows her range quite like this movie. It was also really interesting to see Fred MacMurray as sort of the bad guy. The utter sexuality of the movie was the most shocking thing - men in the corporate world openly portrayed as having sexual affairs. Obviously this thing had been alluded to before, but we may as well have been viewing blatant sex scenes it was all so obvious. I loved the dialogue, and the relationships between the characters really developed throughout the course of the movie without it seeming contrived or rushed. Despite his sunny disposition, it's clear from the beginning that Jack Lemmon's character is truly sad within. You want him to succeed and be happy, but yet you feel as embarrassed as he does for the way that this success unfolds. We know he's better than that and he knows he's better than that, but it seems he just doesn't know how to stand out any other way.

Okay, I'm sort of babbling about the movie at this point, but I did really love it and encourage any one to see it, if you can stand watching black and white film. (This movie wouldn't have been right in color; it would have been too distracting.) All this post has really done has kept me from being completely bored for the last ten minutes or so, and it reminded me how fascinating I find Shirley MacLaine and how I need to watch another one of her movies very soon. I may do a Terms of Endearment/The Evening Star marathon if my tear ducts can handle it.

Which reminds me, Shirley MacLaine is the first woman over the age of 60 that I recognized as sexy. Many of my other "loves" have caught up to her now, age-wise, but I loved her as an older woman before I ever saw her work in her younger days.

I like men, I swear I do.

Lindsanity

2010-07-06T19:43:00.004-04:00

Considering I have been at work all day, I am slightly embarrassed to admit I have spent the majority of my day watching the Lindsay Lohan court hearing. I have always gotten sucked into real-life crime dramas easily, and actually this is the most minor offense I have ever found this much intrigue in. Of course, that being said, I have never watched any court action go down as it was occurring. There was the Simpson trial that EVERYONE watched, but I was very little when that happened, so even though I saw parts of it, I didn't fully understand what was going on or why it was so important.

I probably watched about 85% of the hearing, maybe slightly more. I did have work to do from time to time, but even when I wasn't watching I was listening. To be honest, I was surprised by the judge's decision. At the same time, I am glad. I think the only thing left that can save Lindsay from herself is the sentence she received. Of course, I realize it's unlikely she'll spend the full 90 days in jail, but I can hope, can't I?

I know it's ridiculous that I even care, but I kind of feel like I grew up with Lindsay and I want her to do well and succeed, and be healthy while doing so. She's in a downward spiral and I sincerely hope rehab will help her. I don't want her to end up like Anna Nicole.

Vicious Cycle

2010-07-05T14:39:00.003-04:00

Teeth gnashing,
palms sweating,
the rage takes over.
Loneliness,
fear,
betrayal.
My feelings are useless,
ignored.
Why not me?
Why this?
Why now?
Questions repeating over
and over
in my head.
Loss of control
and lack of self-control
bring me to this point.
Then a kiss,
a reassurance.
Beautiful, loving.
Three words that still
make my heart stop,
even after everything else.
When will it end?
Before I'm ready,
but after it needs to.
And so we are here again.

Oh honey, no.

2010-07-01T14:19:00.001-04:00

End of Days

2010-06-26T12:01:00.004-04:00

A couple of quotes from Perez Hilton's website today:

(regarding a prop arm from the 1984 movie Terminator) "It's from the private collection of Shay Austin of Los Angeles who was an assistant art director on the movie, and she's kept it for over a quarter-century. No one was saving props for their future value as memorabilia in those days, and that's why original items from this classic film are so hard to find."

"Though most people know Steven Martin as an actor,best known for his role opposite Queen Latifah in Bringing Down The House, he actually is also a musician with a band called Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers."

Granted, the first quote was not from Perez himself, but what kind of world am I living in where Terminator is considered a classic film and Steve Martin's most famous for Bringing Down the House?! Is this a life even worth living?!

Mike

2010-06-22T15:33:00.000-04:00

Anyone in Lexington, or at least any woman, should have heard of "Mike". His phone number is posted in restrooms all over town. I decided some time ago to create a map of locations in Lexington in which I have seen Mike's number. This will be accompanied by pictures as well. I have been really slacking on doing this, because my friend Meagan and I actually decided to do this back at the beginning of the year when we were having coffee after a snowstorm. But here is the beginning of it now, and hopefully this weekend I'll be able to add a few more sites to the map and get some pictures posted as well. The pictures will either be on this blog or a separate one. I'll decide that later on. But anyway...

View Mike in a larger map