written by Bonnie Hayes
as recorded by Bette Midler
Long, long ago, where the tall grass grows
and the still air is sweet with summer flowers;
in the shade by the stream I would lie awake and dream,
and in dreaming I would while away the hours.
Long, long gone yesterday,
and the castle and the prince and the God to whom I prayed.
Well, I made, and I'm gonna lie in this bed of roses.
I'm tired of trying to be free.
Gonna lay down like a sigh in my bed of roses.
Bed of roses I believed my life would be.
Well, I wasted years,
all the useless, bitter tears.
If I'd known I'd have stopped it at the start.
I knew life was long,
and I knew life could go wrong,
but I never knew my life would break my heart.
Dreams die harder than pride.
I have learned my lesson well.
I will put them both aside.
'Cause I made and I'm gonna lie in this bed of roses.
I'm tired and I'm dying to be free.
Gonna lay down like a sigh in my bed of roses.
Bed of roses I believed my life would be.
Roses die, and all the fairy tales are lies,
and I guess that's just too bad for poor old me.
'Cause I made, and I'm gonna lie in my bed of roses.
Bed of roses I believed my life would be.
Bed of roses I believed my life would be.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
NYC weekend
So, I realize that, once again, it's been way too long since I've posted. It's not like I don't have the time, but I guess really I don't, considering that most of my spare time is spent alone at home and I have no internet at home, therefore making blogging almost impossible. (I can't blog on my cell. I barely can text any more due to my sausage fingers. Well, they're not really sausage fingers. Let's just say I'm really bad at texting because I never put the right part of my fingers down on the screen, plus I try to text only with my thumbs, and let's face it, they're not tiny.) Anywho, there have been some things of note happen since my last blog, specifically the fact that I went to New York City for the first time! *Cue important music - hellifiknow what - the graduation march, or Hail to the Chief - whatever* I am working on a personal document for me to keep that details the whole weekend, but I will cram six days into as short of a blog as I can manage and still do the city justice.
I took the Amtrak from Cincinnati, because it was going to be about half the price of flying, and I most certainly wasn't going to drive into Manhattan. No thank you, sir. The trip to NYC was not so bad. I got a lot of reading done, although I didn't sleep much, and my seat mate was nice. (Not that the seat mate on the way back wasn't nice; the rest of that trip was just so horrendous that it sort of negated anything else.) We arrived at Penn Station about ten minutes early, and I just kind of hung around until Jon-Michael came to meet me. We had a hot dog on the street, then took a cab to his apartment. After dropping off my things, we walked around a little bit, passing the piers and seeing the Staten Island Ferry station, among other things. The next morning we had breakfast and had time to go to Times Square before it was time for the main event - Bette Midler in I'll Eat You Last: A Chat with Sue Mengers at the Booth Theatre.
I was far less emotional about seeing Bette for the first time than I thought I would be. I did feel tears well up as I waited for her appearance onstage, but I didn't actually cry until a little bit later. I also managed to not sit there shaking like an addict in withdrawal. Go me! I was on the end of the second row, all the way to the left (or rather, stage right). Let me just say that she was amazing. She was well lit and looked absolutely stunning. She was barely clothed, just wearing a thin muumuu, no shoes, and a wig (not an impressive one, either). She was riotous. She knew exactly where to play for laughs and, since the play was set up like Sue Mengers is just chatting away to people from her living room couch, she even smirked at her own jokes appropriately. She was heartbreaking as well. There were a few moments (one where she speaks of not fitting in as a child, and another where she speaks of visiting friend Ali McGraw at home) where she brought legitimate tears to my eyes. I could have sat there listening to her for hours. It was glorious.
After that I took the subway to the Lower East Side, where Jon-Michael was hanging with his friend Isaiah. My first day in NYC, and I took the subway alone. Go me! (Wait, I already said that. Ugh. I've become one of *those* people, that says idiotic things like, "Go me!" in totally inappropriate contexts and way too often.) We went and had a hot dog at some place called Crif Dogs where I had the most amazing hot dog of my life. Wrapped in bacon, deep-fried, and served with avocado and cream cheese. It was delectable. We hung out for a while, went to a place called McSorley's, then went back to Jon-Michael's for a nap before we went out to see a late drag show.
Sunday was a big day. We had brunch at Max Brenner's. They're known for their chocolate. I had a delicious healthy breakfast. (No sarcasm, really.) We spent a lot of time in Central Park, saw Rockefeller Center, and walked down 5th Avenue for a bit. We did A LOT of walking. We took the Staten Island Ferry, then from there we were on our way back to the apartment when we saw a line of people getting their pictures taken with someone. I couldn't see who at first, but I got in line anyway. It was Megan Fox! I've never been a fan, but she was very polite. She didn't say much, but she smiled and posed and did not complain for a second. It was cool. Then we went back to Jon-Michael's, ordered pizza, and watched Game of Thrones.
Monday, I had an early lunch with Mark, who had to go take a cosmetology exam, so I was on my own for a few hours. I went back to Rockefeller Center and did Top of the Rock, took in the views there. It was great. Then I met Mark in Times Square to go to the Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. It was cool. There weren't as many figures as I expected, but the ones we did see were well done (if some a bit outdated culturally to still be featured) and I had a good time. We also went to Chelsea and walked through the Highline. After that we met Jon-Michael for dinner and drinks.
Tuesday, both of the guys had to work, so I ventured out on my own. I had breakfast at Dunkin Donuts, then walked over the Brooklyn Bridge (which took longer than I expected). Once in Brooklyn, I walked around for a while, took the Brooklyn Promenade, and then took the train back into Manhattan. I had decided I was going to try and find the building Bette Midler lives in. The night before I had seen an article online (from a couple years ago) about rooftop gardens, and it listed the address. So I walked around in the area, found somewhere just inside Central Park to use the bathroom, then eventually found the building. There was a bench across the street, so I sat down because my feet were hurting really bad and kind of blistered at this point. I hadn't been sitting there long when I saw Bette go in the building! I didn't know what to do, since I hadn't even been sure she lived there. So I sat outside for a long time, internally freaking out. It's one thing to see a celebrity you love onstage, but to be that close to them just outside in the real world - it's incredible. After a long time, Bette finally came out. I wanted to see where she was going, so I took off in the same direction. I snapped a few picture of her in Central Park, but she quickly went back out and my feet were not in the condition to even try and keep up. I did walk around in her neighborhood a little, hoping I might see her again, but I didn't. I went back to Jon-Michael's from there, because I desperately needed to charge my phone. I changed clothes and then headed back out. I was supposed to meet Mark in Chelsea so he could highlight my hair. That was also a neat experience. I got to go to the salon where he works (Sally Herschberger Downtown), and apparently lots of celebrities get their hair done there, which is cool. I didn't get to see any though. Jon-Michael joined us for a late dinner, and then it was home and to bed.
The next morning, I had to come back. That was an awful day. I took the wrong train to get to Penn Station, and I ended up having to walk like 12 blocks in the rain until I finally found the station I thought was going to lead me right into Penn. It still took me a while to get there. I was supposed to be there thirty minutes before the train boarded, but it ended up being more like ten, and both I and my luggage were pretty wet. I did manage to change pants on the train, which made things a little better, but not much. The whole day was awful. A guy got kicked off the train for being beligerent before we even took off from NY, then later on that day the dude sitting across the aisle from me (I was in a window seat this time, luckily) was getting drunk and hitting on the much-younger lady sitting beside him. My seat mate reported him to the conductor, which really did no good, so I was afraid he was going to get up and deck her or something. The train was 2 1/2 hours late getting back into Cincinnati, and by the time I got to Lexington it was 5:30 in the morning. I called into work the next day because I was just too exhausted (again, I'd probably only slept about four hours on the train).
Even with the taste of the crappy parts of the trip stuck in my mouth, they were so few overall that I can honestly say I had a great time. My two Bette encounters that weekend made everything else worth it. Although I do wish I'd had the nerve to just go up to her in the park, I simply could not do it, and had she been rude or seemed put out by me approaching her, it would have just crushed me. That's a scenario I would not have been able to bear. Maybe the opportunity to be close to her will present itself again - I don't know. Either way, I still cannot believe how incredibly lucky I was.
I took the Amtrak from Cincinnati, because it was going to be about half the price of flying, and I most certainly wasn't going to drive into Manhattan. No thank you, sir. The trip to NYC was not so bad. I got a lot of reading done, although I didn't sleep much, and my seat mate was nice. (Not that the seat mate on the way back wasn't nice; the rest of that trip was just so horrendous that it sort of negated anything else.) We arrived at Penn Station about ten minutes early, and I just kind of hung around until Jon-Michael came to meet me. We had a hot dog on the street, then took a cab to his apartment. After dropping off my things, we walked around a little bit, passing the piers and seeing the Staten Island Ferry station, among other things. The next morning we had breakfast and had time to go to Times Square before it was time for the main event - Bette Midler in I'll Eat You Last: A Chat with Sue Mengers at the Booth Theatre.
I was far less emotional about seeing Bette for the first time than I thought I would be. I did feel tears well up as I waited for her appearance onstage, but I didn't actually cry until a little bit later. I also managed to not sit there shaking like an addict in withdrawal. Go me! I was on the end of the second row, all the way to the left (or rather, stage right). Let me just say that she was amazing. She was well lit and looked absolutely stunning. She was barely clothed, just wearing a thin muumuu, no shoes, and a wig (not an impressive one, either). She was riotous. She knew exactly where to play for laughs and, since the play was set up like Sue Mengers is just chatting away to people from her living room couch, she even smirked at her own jokes appropriately. She was heartbreaking as well. There were a few moments (one where she speaks of not fitting in as a child, and another where she speaks of visiting friend Ali McGraw at home) where she brought legitimate tears to my eyes. I could have sat there listening to her for hours. It was glorious.
After that I took the subway to the Lower East Side, where Jon-Michael was hanging with his friend Isaiah. My first day in NYC, and I took the subway alone. Go me! (Wait, I already said that. Ugh. I've become one of *those* people, that says idiotic things like, "Go me!" in totally inappropriate contexts and way too often.) We went and had a hot dog at some place called Crif Dogs where I had the most amazing hot dog of my life. Wrapped in bacon, deep-fried, and served with avocado and cream cheese. It was delectable. We hung out for a while, went to a place called McSorley's, then went back to Jon-Michael's for a nap before we went out to see a late drag show.
Sunday was a big day. We had brunch at Max Brenner's. They're known for their chocolate. I had a delicious healthy breakfast. (No sarcasm, really.) We spent a lot of time in Central Park, saw Rockefeller Center, and walked down 5th Avenue for a bit. We did A LOT of walking. We took the Staten Island Ferry, then from there we were on our way back to the apartment when we saw a line of people getting their pictures taken with someone. I couldn't see who at first, but I got in line anyway. It was Megan Fox! I've never been a fan, but she was very polite. She didn't say much, but she smiled and posed and did not complain for a second. It was cool. Then we went back to Jon-Michael's, ordered pizza, and watched Game of Thrones.
Monday, I had an early lunch with Mark, who had to go take a cosmetology exam, so I was on my own for a few hours. I went back to Rockefeller Center and did Top of the Rock, took in the views there. It was great. Then I met Mark in Times Square to go to the Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. It was cool. There weren't as many figures as I expected, but the ones we did see were well done (if some a bit outdated culturally to still be featured) and I had a good time. We also went to Chelsea and walked through the Highline. After that we met Jon-Michael for dinner and drinks.
Tuesday, both of the guys had to work, so I ventured out on my own. I had breakfast at Dunkin Donuts, then walked over the Brooklyn Bridge (which took longer than I expected). Once in Brooklyn, I walked around for a while, took the Brooklyn Promenade, and then took the train back into Manhattan. I had decided I was going to try and find the building Bette Midler lives in. The night before I had seen an article online (from a couple years ago) about rooftop gardens, and it listed the address. So I walked around in the area, found somewhere just inside Central Park to use the bathroom, then eventually found the building. There was a bench across the street, so I sat down because my feet were hurting really bad and kind of blistered at this point. I hadn't been sitting there long when I saw Bette go in the building! I didn't know what to do, since I hadn't even been sure she lived there. So I sat outside for a long time, internally freaking out. It's one thing to see a celebrity you love onstage, but to be that close to them just outside in the real world - it's incredible. After a long time, Bette finally came out. I wanted to see where she was going, so I took off in the same direction. I snapped a few picture of her in Central Park, but she quickly went back out and my feet were not in the condition to even try and keep up. I did walk around in her neighborhood a little, hoping I might see her again, but I didn't. I went back to Jon-Michael's from there, because I desperately needed to charge my phone. I changed clothes and then headed back out. I was supposed to meet Mark in Chelsea so he could highlight my hair. That was also a neat experience. I got to go to the salon where he works (Sally Herschberger Downtown), and apparently lots of celebrities get their hair done there, which is cool. I didn't get to see any though. Jon-Michael joined us for a late dinner, and then it was home and to bed.
The next morning, I had to come back. That was an awful day. I took the wrong train to get to Penn Station, and I ended up having to walk like 12 blocks in the rain until I finally found the station I thought was going to lead me right into Penn. It still took me a while to get there. I was supposed to be there thirty minutes before the train boarded, but it ended up being more like ten, and both I and my luggage were pretty wet. I did manage to change pants on the train, which made things a little better, but not much. The whole day was awful. A guy got kicked off the train for being beligerent before we even took off from NY, then later on that day the dude sitting across the aisle from me (I was in a window seat this time, luckily) was getting drunk and hitting on the much-younger lady sitting beside him. My seat mate reported him to the conductor, which really did no good, so I was afraid he was going to get up and deck her or something. The train was 2 1/2 hours late getting back into Cincinnati, and by the time I got to Lexington it was 5:30 in the morning. I called into work the next day because I was just too exhausted (again, I'd probably only slept about four hours on the train).
Even with the taste of the crappy parts of the trip stuck in my mouth, they were so few overall that I can honestly say I had a great time. My two Bette encounters that weekend made everything else worth it. Although I do wish I'd had the nerve to just go up to her in the park, I simply could not do it, and had she been rude or seemed put out by me approaching her, it would have just crushed me. That's a scenario I would not have been able to bear. Maybe the opportunity to be close to her will present itself again - I don't know. Either way, I still cannot believe how incredibly lucky I was.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Big Apple
I'll be going to New York City and seeing my lifetime idol in a play in just over two weeks. It's a little surreal and I'm the most nervous I believe I have ever been.
Big adventure is coming. Finally.
Big adventure is coming. Finally.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Scared
Have you ever had a crippling fear? Something that terrified you to your very core, and whenever you thought about it, you actually felt physically ill? I try not to be scared of too many things. A woman has to be tough in this society. Sure, I'm afraid of things not happening for me in life. Everybody fears that. But the one thing that is my Achille's Heel is death.
Part of it is because I'm not certain there is a heaven. I've had too many unanswered prayers to trust fully in a higher power. What if life on earth is it, and after we die our souls cease to exist? That's scary enough for me (I'm shaking as I write this), but what if there really is eternity? The idea of forever scares me too. A ceaseless existence? I don't know what to feel or believe, and the fact that I don't know yet scares me too.
Sometimes I'm able to push my fears back, and sometimes they don't even come to mind at all, but when they do, I literally feel like I can't function. I know this is not normal. Will I someday come to terms with dying, or will I, in my final moments, say what Joan Crawford said as her housekeeper prayed over her: "Don't you dare ask Him for help!"
Part of it is because I'm not certain there is a heaven. I've had too many unanswered prayers to trust fully in a higher power. What if life on earth is it, and after we die our souls cease to exist? That's scary enough for me (I'm shaking as I write this), but what if there really is eternity? The idea of forever scares me too. A ceaseless existence? I don't know what to feel or believe, and the fact that I don't know yet scares me too.
Sometimes I'm able to push my fears back, and sometimes they don't even come to mind at all, but when they do, I literally feel like I can't function. I know this is not normal. Will I someday come to terms with dying, or will I, in my final moments, say what Joan Crawford said as her housekeeper prayed over her: "Don't you dare ask Him for help!"
Monday, March 18, 2013
Heard this song last night and felt a little more at ease.
"Melancholy Child"
Pam Tillis
A baby with a baby
Just barely seventeen
My mother mourned her innocence
While she bounced me on her knee
A daddy on the road
Added to her tears and trials
Like silver rain they fell upon
This melancholy child
The sounds of my childhood
Still linger in my song
My mother's lullaby
That train that ran behind our home
A whippoorwill on a window sill
It should have made me smile
But everything sounds lonesome
To a melancholy child
Now a restless blood
Runs in our family
Thought I could outrun
The emptiness inside of me
So I went a little crazy
I went a little wild
Trying to outdistance
My own melancholy child
I met a kind and gentle man
Who thinks the world of me
And when he looks my way
It is a woman that he sees
But when I can't explain to him
The tears that fill my eyes
He takes me in his arms
And rocks his melancholy child
You take a black Irish temper
And some solemn Cherokee
A Southern sense of humor
And you got someone like me
But there are thorns on every rose
To this I'm reconciled
They're just a little sharper
To a melancholy child
And in my own babe's eyes
I see the signs of a melancholy child
Heaven help us all
Another melancholy child
"Melancholy Child"
Pam Tillis
A baby with a baby
Just barely seventeen
My mother mourned her innocence
While she bounced me on her knee
A daddy on the road
Added to her tears and trials
Like silver rain they fell upon
This melancholy child
The sounds of my childhood
Still linger in my song
My mother's lullaby
That train that ran behind our home
A whippoorwill on a window sill
It should have made me smile
But everything sounds lonesome
To a melancholy child
Now a restless blood
Runs in our family
Thought I could outrun
The emptiness inside of me
So I went a little crazy
I went a little wild
Trying to outdistance
My own melancholy child
I met a kind and gentle man
Who thinks the world of me
And when he looks my way
It is a woman that he sees
But when I can't explain to him
The tears that fill my eyes
He takes me in his arms
And rocks his melancholy child
You take a black Irish temper
And some solemn Cherokee
A Southern sense of humor
And you got someone like me
But there are thorns on every rose
To this I'm reconciled
They're just a little sharper
To a melancholy child
And in my own babe's eyes
I see the signs of a melancholy child
Heaven help us all
Another melancholy child
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Pinterest Foodie Project: Valentine's Day
Having had the day before Valentine's Day off from work, I decided to spend the day doing a little cooking. I had found a recipe for preparing chicken for chicken tacos and decided to try it out. It involved my crockpot, which was why I waited until my day off (I'm still not comfy with leaving a crockpot on for almost nine hours while I'm at work). I chose to cook the chicken for enchiladas instead of tacos, since tacos would have involved having to buy veggies and I was a little low on money (surprise, surprise). I only used three chicken breasts, so I halved the other ingredients as well. I cooked the chicken on high for about two hours and then low for another two and a half. With about an hour left in cooking time, I added a little enchilada sauce to the chicken. Once the chicken was ready, I basically just used the recipe on the can of enchilada sauce to prep my enchiladas.
The enchiladas were definitely a hearty dish, but came out a little spicier than I expected considering I just used a medium sauce. Also, I chose a red sauce instead of green, as you can likely tell from the above photo.
In celebration of Valentine's Day, I thought dessert was fitting. Naturally, Pinterest had many Valentine's themed desserts. I opted for something I already had ingredients for: brownies! A lot of the recipes I found contained actual chocolate, but I wanted to utilize the cocoa powder I already had. I did have a few chocolate chips leftover from other baking projects, so while the chocolate in the brownies was mostly from the cocoa powder, I did throw the chocolate chips in for extra measure. I also wanted to make the brownies look more...Valentiney, so I made a mixture of powdered sugar, milk, and red food coloring and drizzled it atop the brownies after they came out of the oven. You can find the brownie recipe I used here.
I did have to cook the brownies a little longer than the recipe called for, but that was because I used a smaller dish. (My 9x13 was being used for the enchiladas.) I baked both dishes at the same time and they both got done relatively close to one another, so it worked out well. The brownies were delicious, if not as fudgy as the recipe would have hinted, and after I had a couple for myself, I took them to work and shared the rest with my co-workers. Generous? Yes. But I did it mostly because I'm trying to diet and couldn't have a dozen of brownies lying around the house tempting me.
The enchiladas were definitely a hearty dish, but came out a little spicier than I expected considering I just used a medium sauce. Also, I chose a red sauce instead of green, as you can likely tell from the above photo.
In celebration of Valentine's Day, I thought dessert was fitting. Naturally, Pinterest had many Valentine's themed desserts. I opted for something I already had ingredients for: brownies! A lot of the recipes I found contained actual chocolate, but I wanted to utilize the cocoa powder I already had. I did have a few chocolate chips leftover from other baking projects, so while the chocolate in the brownies was mostly from the cocoa powder, I did throw the chocolate chips in for extra measure. I also wanted to make the brownies look more...Valentiney, so I made a mixture of powdered sugar, milk, and red food coloring and drizzled it atop the brownies after they came out of the oven. You can find the brownie recipe I used here.
I did have to cook the brownies a little longer than the recipe called for, but that was because I used a smaller dish. (My 9x13 was being used for the enchiladas.) I baked both dishes at the same time and they both got done relatively close to one another, so it worked out well. The brownies were delicious, if not as fudgy as the recipe would have hinted, and after I had a couple for myself, I took them to work and shared the rest with my co-workers. Generous? Yes. But I did it mostly because I'm trying to diet and couldn't have a dozen of brownies lying around the house tempting me.
Pinterest Foodie Project: Tuna with a Kick
Taking a cue from a Martha Stewart recipe I found on Pinterest, I recently tried my own version of a spicy tuna melt by mixing a can of tuna in water with a few teaspoons full of medium salsa.
With the tuna on a piece of wheat bread, I drizzled a generous amount of monterey jack cheese on the top and toasted it in the oven until the cheese had browned. Trying to stay low-cal, I ate my melt with a single dill spear. Delicious!
With the tuna on a piece of wheat bread, I drizzled a generous amount of monterey jack cheese on the top and toasted it in the oven until the cheese had browned. Trying to stay low-cal, I ate my melt with a single dill spear. Delicious!
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