Idiocy abounds!

I had what I suppose you could call a tiff with someone on Facebook yesterday. Both are guys that know my sister, and I know one of them as well. Let's call the one I know A and the other B.

Guy A posts a photo of a billboard on his page. It was an anti-Obama billboard. He and Guy B did a little back and forth "that's so funny", when I decided to say that if Guy A didn't want peoples' opinion of him to be negatively affected, he should probably refrain from political or religious posts on Facebook. At this point, Guy B, whom I only know by name and who doesn't know me either, begins to talk about how Americans are too tolerant of other people's beliefs and how that even though Christians founded our nation, Christians are the only group who are portrayed consistently negatively in the media. This goes on for a while. Then Guy A jumps back in and says that if I don't like the way our country is run, I should move away and start my own country because that is not the USA that he lives in.

Okay. Wow, right? So I say, "Whoa guys, thanks for blowing that out of proportion and assuming I'm anti-American and anti-Christian." Of course, they both try to blow off their tirades as merely being passionate discussion. I encouraged that if they really wanted to make a difference in a government they find such fault in, they should not blame a single entity (a President) for something that a body of people (Congress) are really to blame for. I suggested getting more involved in state and local government to create a ripple effect.

The reason I even bring this up at all is because, with last night's events in mind, I read something on Guy A's Facebook page today that I found to be incredibly humorous. This guy is really into cars, specifically Hondas, and his post was about how he would never buy "that American-made crap". This may not fit the definition of irony, but I think the word certainly fits.

pity party

Update from previous post:

At the time, I recognized the opportunity I got by being able to make physical contact with Stevie Nicks. However, two days after the concert, it hit me that I actually got to touch Stevie Nicks, one of my two favorite people on the face of the earth and someone that I idolize. I can tell that story for years to come when I play Fleetwood Mac's music for my children.

Oh, and I left "Landslide" off the setlist. Um, duh.

And on to the new!

I have realized that I am not the kind of person who has very much self control. I impulse buy frequently, I spend money on things like trips and concert tickets before I really have said money, and I also have a small problem of not being able to stop drinking once I get started.

Don't get me wrong; sometimes I can. But when I'm really stressed out and people are passing around alcohol and I'm not paying for it, I forget how much I've had and get a little carried away. I don't just like alcohol because I can "forget my troubles" while drinking it. I also enjoy the non-mental relaxation that comes with drinking. I carry my stress very heavily in my body, and I feel myself loosen up physically when I've had a little alcohol, and it's a feeling I don't want to go away. I also have the problem of trying to keep up with those I'm drinking with. 90% of the time this includes men, or women that weigh more than I do. They keep drinking, so I keep drinking. Fortunately I've been very lucky and end up very close to home or with a place to crash when this happens.

The only reason I bring this up is because of the fact that I recently took some of my anguish out on my sister while I was drinking. I complained about no one really caring about me, because that's how I often feel. I know I have people that care about me, but I am not the most important person in anyone's life and that sometimes gets me a little depressed. Plus, and I'm just gonna say this right now and be completely honest with, well, whoever's there: I am jealous of my sister.

My sister has always done things at an earlier age than me. I may have done things first, but she was younger than I was when she experienced these firsts. She went to her first concert before I ever went to one (something I am responsible for, seeing as we needed three tickets to said concert and by the time we purchased, only two could be bought together, and it was a group she liked way more than I did). She dated before me, had sex at a younger age than me. She even had a later curfew than I did. When I was 18 and out of high school, still living at home, my curfew was 11:00. Before she graduated high school and while she was dating, hers was 11:30. Now she's going to become a mother before me. I hate that I have spent so much time and money trying to get my life in order, only for her to have all of the things I want long before I will ever have them. It's frustrating and makes me feel like I've done nothing. I'm 26 years old and have nothing to show for it, except a bunch of freaking debt.

Strange, she runs from the one she can't keep up with.

Things have been rolling along in my life. Sometimes I feel like nothing's happening, and sometimes I feel like a steamroller is on my heels, threatening to crush everything around me at any moment.

I was supposed to have been on a trip to Pennsylvania and New York about a week and a half ago, but due to circumstances beyond my control, my travel companion and I had to reschedule. So I have another six weeks or so until that trip happens. But plenty of things have been happening. I had a decent birthday celebration, both with my self-consumed extended family and with my generous and wonderful friends.

Two days ago, I went to a Stevie Nicks concert in Cincinnati, OH totally and completely alone. It wasn't bad, seeing as how it's not that long of a drive from here. There was some road work that put me getting there later than I had hoped, but I was still there a good 40 minutes before the show. The opening act, Michael Grimm, was really talented and I enjoyed his short set. I was seventh row in the center pit, just left of center stage. It was a great seat and I was really excited to be there. I got my camera in with no issue and managed to get some pretty good pictures from my seat, although they weren't great because my arm kept shaking and I couldn't hold the camera still. During a guitar solo toward the end of "Edge of Seventeen", a bunch of fans got to rush the stage and I was right up front. Stevie always does a walk during this portion of the song and shakes hands with audience members. She didn't shake my hand because the hands directly behind me were higher (fucking tall people), but I managed to touch the top of her hand as she was shaking a hand just to the right of me. It wasn't as magical as I thought it would be, but she was right there, and I couldn't not touch her after she passed me. I would've regretted missing that opportunity, and I am so glad I didn't have to.

She looked and sounded great, and it was really cool getting to hear the newer songs live. This was the fourth time I've seen her live, including twice with Fleetwood Mac. I don't remember the exact order of the songs and I may be missing one or two, but here's a rough setlist from the night.

Stand Back
Secret Love
Dreams
Moonlight (A Vampire's Dream)
Gold Dust Woman
Soldier's Angel
Annabel Lee
For What It's Worth
Rhiannon
Ghosts Are Gone
Edge of Seventeen
Love Is

Oh baby!

For anyone who reads this blog and actually knows me, this is probably news you've already heard. For anyone else, well, if you care, here goes.

My younger sister is 10 weeks pregnant with twins. Obviously, as her older sister I am concerned about her. I worry about her health and comfort level, and the health of the babies. She's not unhealthy, but she's a really picky eater, and I want to be sure the babies are getting all the nutrients they need. I got her some prenatal vitamins with DHA, so hopefully that's going to be a good enough start.

My initial thoughts about the situation were purely stressful. My sister and her husband are not in the best financial situation. Of course, my mother will be able to provide free childcare so that is a major load off their shoulders, but they'll have to move into a bigger apartment and my brother-in-law will have to get a better job. I feel partially responsible for my family. Yes, I moved away, and that separates me from them somewhat. But at the same time, if they ever needed anything, I would feel like it was up to me to help them out. I'm not rolling in money myself, but I get by, and if money got really tight I could get a second job, move into a smaller apartment, or get a piece of junk car instead of the nice one (well, it started out nice) that I have now. I'm comfortable enough, and I don't need financial assistance. Babies are a major expense, and the fact that they have the equivalent of one decent-paying full-time job between the two of them worries me.

Before I had time to truly get over my initial worry, we found out there are two babies instead of one. This means he has to get another job and they have to move into a bigger apartment. No question. I just hope he will step up soon. These babies are going to be well taken care of and incredibly loved, and as worried as I was at first, I am now as excited. I have been fighting my own biological clock for a little while now. I am neither in a financial situation nor in a relationship conducive to child-rearing, but I want children very badly. The fact that I'm going to be able to be around my sister's children so much is going to help me sate my own maternal desires.

I have this major problem about worrying about things that are beyond my control. I need to just relax and let them do what they are going to do, but there are children involved now, and I want them to have the best life possible. I just have to hope everything works out, and I will help as much as I can or as much as I am needed to. Mostly I'm just excited about being an aunt and watching these children grow. I have to focus on that.

Don Jacobs Paint and Body sucks.

Remember all of my car drama in December and January? Yeah, well, I have something to add to it now.

After all that mess where it took so long to get my car back from the body shop and they gave me a coupon for free detailing, I finally took it up there to take advantage of the offer. I got up at 6 this morning and dropped the car off at 7:30. I was in the parking lot before they unlocked the doors. Issue was, I had to be at work at 7:30. So, I had to wait there in the lobby for their shuttle service because, well, I have no one that I can ask to come give me a ride at 7:30 in the morning. I waited there until 10 after 8 and had to ride in a van with six strangers, three of whom got dropped off before me. I didn't get to work until almost nine. I went to pick up my car at 3:00. It was nice and shiny on the outside and I could tell it had been washed and the tires cleaned, but once I got inside I was unsure the job had been done properly. After I got back to work, having checked a few things by glancing while sitting at stoplights, I ensured that, not only had the job not been done properly, it had not been done at all. How could I tell? Well, there was a soda stain in my cupholder, hair on the seats (both cat and mine), and a French fry under the passenger seat. Guess what? Those things were all still there.

Here is the e-mail complaint that I wrote to the dealership:

I had my vehicle repaired at your paint and body shop in December/January. When I picked up my vehicle, I was very displeased with the appearance of the interior. There was paint dust inside and it was clear it had not been cleaned as well as it should have been considering the extensive amount of damage that had been done to my car. My estimator, Tim, gave me a coupon for free detailing for me to use at a later date. I took my car in for this today. When I picked the car up, the outside was nice and clean and my wheels were shiny, but I didn't think the interior had been cleaned as well as it should have been. Sure enough, when I got to my destination I discovered the French fry that had been dropped under my passenger seat was still there.

Seeing as how I paid nothing for either my body work or the detailing, I don't suppose I have any right to complain, but my vehicle initially was in your dealership's posession for five weeks and now you have had it an additional six hours for the detailing. I find the cleanliness of my car to be appalling considering the time wasted at your dealership. I just wanted my complaint to be heard so that you can correct this for future business: future business that absolutely will not be provided by me, as I will never visit your dealership in any capacity again.

So, for anyone who gives a rat's ass, in support of me and my frustration, do not ever visit Don Jacobs Paint and Body in Lexington, KY. Thank you.

I yam who I yam and that's all that I yam.

Hello! My name is Lora and I am a control freak. I think everything should turn out a certain way and when it doesn't I get all freaked out. I think that I am responsible for being the one to take care of everybody, so if you do something I don't think you should, I am going to help you try and "fix" it. I think that everything has a reason for happening, and that if all you do is take life as it comes, you are not living it to its full potential. I also think that you should be constantly trying to better yourself and your situation, so I get pissed off if you are completely content with your life the way that it is, especially when your life is spent with you being poor and undereducated when I think you deserve more than that. I am bossy and particular.

If you don't like it, go away, 'cause I ain't changin'.

The Untalented Miss Riggs

I am good at nothing. This is something that I am finally coming to terms with. All my life, I've always thought I was special. I partially blame my parents for that. But due to thinking I was special, I always thought that eventually, I would be able to do something great with my life.

The very first thing I truly thought I could be good at was acting. I've always been a little overdramatic, and that's part of it, but I am ruled totally by emotion. Isn't that what acting is all about? Tapping into your emotions to portray a character? Why couldn't I do that? I've been practicing my whole life. I create monologues about characters that aren't entirely unlike myself, and I'm always able to evoke tears when the time calls for them. Of course I can act! But that dream died when no one supported it.

Then I tried to convince myself that I was a great singer. My experiences haven't totally gone against this theory either. I was the section leader my last two years of choir in high school, and I had multiple solos and feature parts throughout the years. But I have never heard anyone tell me my voice has brought them to tears, or even evoked emotions from them. I've been complimented on my voice, but to be a great singer, one has to make others feel the lyrics. I don't suppose I can do this. So this dream sort of faded away.

One thing I do know without a doubt that I'm good at is putting others before myself. I have let people mock me and belittle me and not fought back because I didn't want people to get upset with me. I am a good friend. I put others desires before my own, and I don't ask for anything in return except the attention that it requires to even allow me to be in those peoples' presence. I want to take care of people, and I want to please them. But the problem is that this one aspect of my life that I actually show strength in is my greatest weakness. In my last blog, I spoke about the hatred that I had been feeling in the weeks prior. I think that a lot of the reason I was so angry was because I got tired of the way people were making me feel so inconsequential, but in reality I set myself up for that in the first place. How should I expect others to respect me or care about me if I can't even give myself the same courtesy?

But old habits die hard, and it's going to be really difficult for me to change behaviors that I've been carrying on for a dozen years or more. Being more outspoken and telling people what I want from them is one of the things I've been trying recently, but I have a bad feeling that prior events have pushed some people that I care about out of my life completely. I do believe that there are people that care about me, but most don't care about me enough to do the kind of work that will keep me close. I enjoy having lots of friends, but I've always been the kind of person that would rather have a few really close friends than a lot of casual acquaintances.

So, in conclusion, I guess what I'm saying is the only thing I'm good at is being a doormat.