Reunion Conundrum

Three months ago, the notion of going to my upcoming high school reunion (date TBD) was something that thrilled me to no end. I imagined attending in some curve-hugging, cleavage-bearing dress, and all the guys that never noticed me in high school would notice me now. I'd be charming and hilarious and everyone would think it was wonderful that I got out of town and am so "successful". Last night, the reality of the possibility of a reunion actually came to fruition. I had been added to a Facebook group devoted to planning and discussing the event. As soon as I started reading the posts alluding to our glorious high school days, I was suddenly filled with a bitterness I thought that I had finally come to terms with. But, evidently, being a nobody in high school is something you never really get over. Or, not within ten years of graduation, anyway.

I always thought I was going to end up being better than everyone I graduated with. I had big dreams. But the truth of the matter is, I am the one that's jealous of their paltry accomplishments - the routine things like marriage and children. I am the only one holding myself up to any sort of standard. None of those people care what I have or have not accomplished in my life, and I have to stop kidding myself that they do. I think the reason I have such trouble with it is that, not only do all these people from my past not care what I have done (how I've grown as a person, how I've completely financially supported myself since I was 19, how I am excelling in a field totally unrelated to any of my studies), there is no one in my present to care about these things either. Everything that I do is only for me, yet I still hold myself to some ridiculous standard that has no relevance to anyone but myself.

So now I have a dilemma. Should I attend this reunion, and let all the people that ignored me in high school pretend they have any sort of memories of me, or should I just not go and forget any revenge fantasies that I had?