Relax, go to it.

I will never live a stress-free life.

I can't. My mind won't let me. If I'm not stressed about money, I'm stressed about my health (needlessly, mind you). If it's not that, it's my relationship status (or lack thereof). I just can't win, and I don't understand it. Am I afraid of being happy? Am I preventing myself from relaxing, or has my life up to now conditioned me to believe that a new stressful situation is just around the corner, so I don't relax out of routine? I'm not saying I never relax at all. There are fleeting moments, where all of the stars align and the feng shui is just so, and I can have a few hours of sheer bliss. But then the worry of another day at work, or another day of tightening the pursestrings in order to eat, comes along, and I'm back to square one. Vacation is incredibly helpful in all this. Any time I'm away from home/work/family, I can totally chill out. I don't think about what has to be done when I get home, or worry about what's coming out of my next paycheck. Any time I'm away from Kentucky, I feel totally uninhibited.

It's kind of funny, though. Right now I'm in the middle of planning three trips over the course of the next three months. One hotel stay is paid for, but the rest of my expenses have yet to be covered, and I am totally freaking out over it. Usually I just charge it and worry about it later, but my credit cards are all maxed out. (Thanks, new bite guard. Thanks, new eyeglasses.) I could nix a trip, but I have been looking so forward to them all, and there's one I absolutely can't get out of. I'm stressing about planning something that is going to allow me to destress. Ironic.

Thankfully I have this new Stevie Nicks album to help me through. Otherwise I'd be a total nutcase right now.