Hey Ya!

I did it! I posted a video on YouTube. I put a Bette song on it, but of course YouTube wouldn't let me use it for copyright reasons, so I had to use one of their pre-licensed songs. I hope it doesn't sound too lame.

Less money, mo' problems.

Well, it's happened. A good financial time for me just went bad. A check that I wrote went through the day before I got paid and now I've been charged $90 in overdraft fees because of three charges I made after that. Why does this always happen to me? The thing that pisses me off the most about it was the fact that the check that went through was a check to MY FUCKING BANK for my car payment.

I hate my life.

So I'm a nut. What are you gonna do about it?

The past few days I've been feeling sort of depressed. It's kind of hard to explain. I've just been feeling like I am a waste of space. Wow, um, how do I put that less...depressingly? Through me doing this Ellen thing and the lack of response, or subsequent comments, I've gotten from people, I'm beginning to worry about whether or not I am ever going to accomplish anything. Writing a letter to a celebrity and getting on TV for it, in my world, constitutes as an accomplishment. But it's been a week and a half and I've only gotten twelve comments. I have been promoting the SHIT out of this letter, and no one has noticed. For several days, I was updating my Facebook status every couple of hours trying to get people to come view my letter. I mean, I have 189 Facebook friends. It's just ridiculous.

Maybe I'm giving up too easily. It just seems that any time I get excited about something, no one else cares, so I get down in the dumps pretty quickly. I don't know why I'm not used to this by now. I've always felt like people look at my interests as stupid. Especially Bette. Anyone that knows me knows how much Bette Midler has been part of my life. But I got ridiculed all through school for loving Bette, and even now I still get flack from some people who think that Bette is lame, etc. I've told some people in my life that if I had to make the choice between saving them and saving Bette, I would save Bette. I know it sounds crazy seeing how this a person I have never met, but the people in my life (with a few exceptions) come and go so easily. Bette has always been there for me, and she always will be. I never have to worry about her rejecting me because my relationship with her is not real. She would never do anything to hurt me. Mainly because she has no clue I exist, but that doesn't matter. Having fantastical relationships with celebrities reaches beyond the bounds of normal relationships. Although, in actuality, the relationship is one-sided, the beauty of the whole thing is that I can believe whatever I want to believe about how that person might would feel about me. I know this all might sound odd, but becoming obsessed with celebrities is how I dealt with the losses I experienced (specifically the loss of my uncle Ace) in my childhood. It was my way of dealing with mortality - fixating on people who are, in a sense, immortal. That's why I would choose Bette Midler over some of the real, physical beings that I know. Her legacy is so great that even when she passes, she will always be here. And it's much easier to deal with that kind of loss than a tangible one.

cubicle #6

Mister D is going to provide the link to my Ellen letter to Bootleg Betty readers this weekend! This is a HUGE deal. This is the Bette website. It's not her official website, but it's better! This is the one that all the BetteHeads read to get the most up-to-date info. I'm super excited! 8 comments and counting at this point. Hopefully I can get a few more. I really appreciate everyone's help so far!

I've made an appointment for Monday to consult about getting my wisdom teeth cut out. I have one already, and now another one is starting to poke through. They're really starting to cause me some pain. I can feel the tightness in my mouth. My mouth is so tiny I can barely fit all the teeth I have, so you can imagine that getting more is slightly painful. This could be contributing to all my neck and jaw problems as well. Fortunately, I have quite a bit of money in my FSA account, and it should pay for most, if not all, of the procedure. Yay! I guess my crappy health insurance is at least good for one thing.

I still haven't gotten a power cord for my laptop. I guess I need to do that soon. Oh! But I've already pre-spent my tax refund. I'm taking my dad to Columbus to see Fleetwood Mac in April! I was going to go anyway, I had already decided, but I am taking him as an early birthday present. He turns fifty this year, so I thought something big (a.k.a. expensive) was in order. He was worried about the drive, but I told him it wasn't a big deal. Driving three hours to see the greatest band of all time? That's nothing! It ought to be a great show.

Dear Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen, I am a huge fan of your show and watch it every chance that I get. Your energy is infectious, and you make so many people happy with what you do. I write to you today with a conundrum. It's a small problem in the scheme of things, but I ask simply for a listening ear, or in this case, eye. I feel it's best for me to give you a little background information about myself so that you can fully understand my problem.

My name is Lora Riggs and last May I graduated from the University of Kentucky with a Bachelor of Arts in English. As much as I enjoyed my time in college, the current economic downturn has left me stuck in the same customer service job that I held during my last year of school. I do make more than I ever have at my current job, but with the repayment of college loans looming over my shoulders, I am just as broke as ever. Just paying for my living expenses and the loans on my used car leave me just enough money to buy food and gas each month and rarely do I have any money left over for myself. I enjoy no luxuries. I do not have cable or internet at home, and I don't even have a couch in the apartment I have lived in for the last ten months.

The reason I am writing to you is that for over half of my life (I am 23), I have been an avid Bette Midler fan. I own all of her albums and listen to her often. I love watching Bette's old music videos and TV specials and every day I pray for the day that her television series Bette! will be released on DVD. Bette Midler is the love of my life - you can ask anyone who has ever known me for more than a week, and they can attest to this. Bette's first tour that she did since I have been a fan was Divine Miss Millennium. At the time, I was just a freshman in high school and had no way of seeing her live. She was too far away. Ever since then, circumstances have never matched up so that I could travel to see Bette perform. I was hoping that with her current stay in Vegas, I would be able to make it. But alas, there is always some unexpected expense (car repairs, etc.) that has heretofore still left me financially incapable of traveling to Vegas.

So I write to you today, Ellen, for help. All I've ever wanted is to see Bette Midler live. It would be the greatest moment of my life. I just need a little help getting there.

Thank you for your time, and I wish you good luck and happiness in all that you do!

Sincerely,
Lora Riggs

I'm a broke-ass bitch.

I still have a defunct power cord at home, so no laptop usage for me. Back to the good ole public library.

I've been working on my tax stuff and am very disappointed to only be receiving $220. I made more than I ever have last year, pushing me up into a new tax bracket, apparently, because I'm not getting shit. I made $7000 more in '08 than '07, and last time I got back $850. It makes absolutely no fucking sense to me. Worst of all though, this kills all of my dreams of possibly seeing Bette Midler this year. I'm already broke all the time, plus I just spent $250 getting my car fixed. I was relying on a solid tax return to send me to Las Vegas, but alas, no. I never get what I want.

So I have decided it is time to turn to the gods of celebrity for help. I'm considering even going to YouTube for this if I have to, but look out here in the next little bit for an open letter to Ellen DeGeneres.

Oh, and I finally got my car back last Wednesday. Yay!

No car for you! Come back one week!

One week later and my car is still being repaired. Last I heard (on Friday), they didn't even have the goddamn parts in. I want my car...NOW. I hate driving my mom's car. Not that it's that bad or anything, I just hate driving other peoples' cars. It's so awkward.

I watched the Super Bowl last night and was actually pretty impressed. That interception at the Arizona end zone that turned into a touchdown for Pittsburgh? Amazing. I wish I could remember that guy's name. He's going to be in sports history books for quite a long time.

There was something else, other than stuff about my car, that I was wanting to update on, but I have totally forgotten now that I am actually here in front of the computer.

Oh yeah! I remember! My fucking laptop isn't working! So I am currently updating from the public library. Yeah. Something's wrong with my AC power cord and it won't work. My computer's already dead, so it's just been sitting sadly in my room for the past week and a half, unable to be used. I would buy another power cord, but since that would run me at least a hundred dollars, it's going to have to wait. Why does everything always go wrong at the same time?