Life's still throwing curveballs.

Well, I am an aunt now!

My sister was due on February 23rd, but had to have an emergency Caeserean on December 2nd. The girls were 12 weeks early and seem to be doing fine now. They are both off of ventilators and able to have milk. Let me just say it has been a stressful few days! We were supposed to have their baby shower on the 3rd, so needless to say that will have to be rescheduled. I guess we can have a "Welcome Home" party once they get back from the hospital.

I spent four days in and out of the hospital with my sister, so I am pretty pooped. It's crazy how you have a milestone come in your life that you have thought out and imagined how it will be in your head, and then it turns out completely differently. Things could have ended up so much worse.

If 1 out of every 10 men is gay, and 95% of all straight men are either idiots, jerks, or married (and these categories are not all inclusive), then that leaves less than 5% of the male population over the entire globe for me to choose from as a possible mate.

I guess I will be alone.

Patti LaBelle lawsuit

Has anybody else seen this shit?

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/patti-labelle-sued-west-point-cadet-houston-airport/story?id=13752701

Doesn't look like an "unprovoked" attack to me.

Bah humbug!

I have a feeling my posts will become more and more scarce after the holidays and the arrival of my nieces than they already are. Nobody really reads this blog anyway, not but a handful of people, and there are some people that would read it if they knew about it - but those are people that I'd rather not have knowing it exists. My private thoughts, and even my thoughts that I share out in Blog World, are not thoughts that many people I know would appreciate very much. This is mostly because these are thoughts they wouldn't understand or agree with. As technologically advance as our culture is, and as tapped in to society as most people in my generation tend to be, there are still a lot of judgmental and intolerant people out there.

I love my family dearly, but there are members of my extended family that I have different philosophies than. I mean, I know that's going to happen. I get it. But how can people brought up in the same belief system with the same general values have such different ideas about things?

I am so sick of the Christmas holiday and its commercialization. When a child cries because they didn't get as many gifts as their cousin/sibling, or when adults can't NOT buy gifts for one another in financial hardship for fear of ruining the "Christmas experience" for their child, things have gone entirely too far. When I was a kid, we enjoyed just getting together with one another for Christmas. I always got gifts that I wanted/liked, and my parents had taught my sister and myself how to appreciate the finer things in life. We didn't get gifts "just because"; my parents were too busy making sure we had clean, intact clothing on our backs and food in our bellies. I didn't need the newest gifts or the most advanced gifts, because I knew how to use my imagination with my toys. My sister and I played with dolls and created stories for them. Every week we wrote our own Barbie soap operas. We dressed up and pretended to be literary/film characters. Sure, we occassionally played video games, but they did not consume us. As a child, I loved to read. How many kids these days actually pick up books when it's not required of them?

I never wanted to be one of those "old fogeys" who reminisced about the "good ol' days", but I just cannot understand, as a twenty-something who both knows how to use technology and how to be creative, how things have changed so drastically since my childhood. Many people my age claim they do not want to bring children into this world because of all of the bad things in it. On the contrary, I want to bring children into this world in order to help bring something good back. I cannot wait to instill the values I find important in my children, in hopes that they will then pass on the same values into theirs. I may disagree with my parents on a lot, but they taught me how to appreciate what I have and how to work hard, and those are values I will never wish I didn't have.

And baby makes 22.

On Today this morning, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar announced that they are expecting their 20th kid in March.

Michelle is 45 years old.

I don't care how much you love children. What these people are doing is crazy. It's unsafe. This woman is putting her life at risk all because she's going to let God dictate the number of children she has. Jesus, woman. If you're not going to be on birth control, at least make your husband pull out!



Click here to watch the foolery.

Baby Fever

I have been having a lot of dreams about babies lately, either me having one or someone else. My mom thinks this is because of my sister being pregnant and all of us having baby on the brain. She's right about me having baby on the brain. But I have baby on the brain partly because I am really wanting one myself. I am now making it my mission to have a baby before I turn 31. I will do artificial insemination if need be, but I am also willing to go natural donor as well. Would I want the biological father's assistance or involvement? I don't know. I haven't really thought that all the way through yet. But I figure I have a little time to figure this out.

NY & PA trip

Sorry, I meant to post this a week ago, but got caught up in other things. This is about a trip I took on the 5th-7th of this month.

It's back to work for me after a five-day mini vacay, three days of which were spent on a lovely excursion to Pennsylvania and southwestern New York State.

Wednesday morning my friend Jade and I left Lexington and headed north. We drove across the breadth of Ohio, going through Cleveland to get to Pennsylvania. Making a short stop along the way for a roadside attraction accompanied by lunch, we made it to our destination in roughly eight hours. We were staying at a little bed and breakfast in North East, PA, so we checked in there and unloaded our luggage before we decided to venture around town a little. We went to one winery called Mazza Vineyards and enjoyed some samples there. We walked around near our B&B and just enjoyed the quaint town. We ended up eating at a little local diner called Johnny B's that had a nice setup and good food. I had a delicious club sandwich with french fries. We retired early with a game of Scrabble.

Thursday we enjoyed an amazing breakfast before heading out. We had blueberry gingerbread, a roasted peach drizzled with raspberry puree, and "Captain's Scramble", which was sort of a quiche with three kinds of cheese, peppers, and mushrooms. I also had cranberry pomegranate juice and coffee. After that it was off to Jamestown!

Jamestown, NY is the birthplace of Lucille Ball, and somewhere I've wanted to visit for years. It's a cute little tourist town, and we had a wonderful lunch at the Taco Hut. I was disappointed, however, that you weren't allowed to take pictures in either the Lucy-Desi Museum, or the Desilu Playhouse. But the museums were very neat, and it only cost $15 to go to both. (Normally, I'm not averse to sneaking pictures when they're not allowed, but they had security cameras and that made me a little nervous.) We drove past both the home that Lucy was born in and the house she grew up in, which was in nearby Celoron and just a couple blocks from Lake Chautauqua. We also visited the cemetary where her ashes were interred, and where several members of her mother's family are buried. After that we stopped briefly at a consignment store for kid/baby items, and then went to a little roadside farmer's market-type store. I bought a crotcheted bookmark, two Gala apples, and a mini pumpkin.

After Jamestown, we doubled back past North East and stopped in Erie. Jade really wanted to see a lighthouse, so we drove out on this little peninsula jutting out into the lake called Presque Isle. We drove around for a while, and it was very beautiful there. There were some really cool rocks on the beach, but the two lighthouses we saw were smaller than anticipated and we were a little disappointed. From there we looked around for somewhere to eat, but the place in our guidebook that we wanted to go was closed, so we ended up just stopping at KFC because we were so hungry by that point.

Back in North East, we both showered and then played a round of Huggermugger. It was this really cool game that was basically an English major's dream. It was all about words. Definitions, spelling, rhyming; it was a really fun and unique game that we had never heard of, let alone played before. Then it was off to bed.

Friday morning before checking out, we had apple pie to start out our breakfast. Next was a fruit bowl of bananas and both green and yellow kiwi. I had yeast waffles for breakfast. They were very light but crunchy. That time I had coffee and superfruit juice. Off to Cleveland we went! We went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame which was really cool, but we were also not allowed to take pictures there. They had a "Women Who Rock" exhibit filled with costumes worn by female artists (duh). Underneath the Stevie Nicks stage outfit, they had some incorrect information, which I e-mailed the museum later to let them know about. They said they would correct their mistake "as soon as possible", but who knows if they actually did.

After Cleveland, we detoured through some more rural parts of Ohio to get to another roadside attraction, before getting back home around 11:15 that evening. It was a great trip, although I wish it had been longer. I was glad to get this in, considering it might be the last trip I get to take in a while.

Edit: I forgot to mention eating at Lola Bistro in Cleveland, where I had a roasted turkey sandwich with a parsnip curry soup, and coconut-prickly pear sorbet for dessert. One of the best meals of my life.

Idiocy abounds!

I had what I suppose you could call a tiff with someone on Facebook yesterday. Both are guys that know my sister, and I know one of them as well. Let's call the one I know A and the other B.

Guy A posts a photo of a billboard on his page. It was an anti-Obama billboard. He and Guy B did a little back and forth "that's so funny", when I decided to say that if Guy A didn't want peoples' opinion of him to be negatively affected, he should probably refrain from political or religious posts on Facebook. At this point, Guy B, whom I only know by name and who doesn't know me either, begins to talk about how Americans are too tolerant of other people's beliefs and how that even though Christians founded our nation, Christians are the only group who are portrayed consistently negatively in the media. This goes on for a while. Then Guy A jumps back in and says that if I don't like the way our country is run, I should move away and start my own country because that is not the USA that he lives in.

Okay. Wow, right? So I say, "Whoa guys, thanks for blowing that out of proportion and assuming I'm anti-American and anti-Christian." Of course, they both try to blow off their tirades as merely being passionate discussion. I encouraged that if they really wanted to make a difference in a government they find such fault in, they should not blame a single entity (a President) for something that a body of people (Congress) are really to blame for. I suggested getting more involved in state and local government to create a ripple effect.

The reason I even bring this up at all is because, with last night's events in mind, I read something on Guy A's Facebook page today that I found to be incredibly humorous. This guy is really into cars, specifically Hondas, and his post was about how he would never buy "that American-made crap". This may not fit the definition of irony, but I think the word certainly fits.

pity party

Update from previous post:

At the time, I recognized the opportunity I got by being able to make physical contact with Stevie Nicks. However, two days after the concert, it hit me that I actually got to touch Stevie Nicks, one of my two favorite people on the face of the earth and someone that I idolize. I can tell that story for years to come when I play Fleetwood Mac's music for my children.

Oh, and I left "Landslide" off the setlist. Um, duh.

And on to the new!

I have realized that I am not the kind of person who has very much self control. I impulse buy frequently, I spend money on things like trips and concert tickets before I really have said money, and I also have a small problem of not being able to stop drinking once I get started.

Don't get me wrong; sometimes I can. But when I'm really stressed out and people are passing around alcohol and I'm not paying for it, I forget how much I've had and get a little carried away. I don't just like alcohol because I can "forget my troubles" while drinking it. I also enjoy the non-mental relaxation that comes with drinking. I carry my stress very heavily in my body, and I feel myself loosen up physically when I've had a little alcohol, and it's a feeling I don't want to go away. I also have the problem of trying to keep up with those I'm drinking with. 90% of the time this includes men, or women that weigh more than I do. They keep drinking, so I keep drinking. Fortunately I've been very lucky and end up very close to home or with a place to crash when this happens.

The only reason I bring this up is because of the fact that I recently took some of my anguish out on my sister while I was drinking. I complained about no one really caring about me, because that's how I often feel. I know I have people that care about me, but I am not the most important person in anyone's life and that sometimes gets me a little depressed. Plus, and I'm just gonna say this right now and be completely honest with, well, whoever's there: I am jealous of my sister.

My sister has always done things at an earlier age than me. I may have done things first, but she was younger than I was when she experienced these firsts. She went to her first concert before I ever went to one (something I am responsible for, seeing as we needed three tickets to said concert and by the time we purchased, only two could be bought together, and it was a group she liked way more than I did). She dated before me, had sex at a younger age than me. She even had a later curfew than I did. When I was 18 and out of high school, still living at home, my curfew was 11:00. Before she graduated high school and while she was dating, hers was 11:30. Now she's going to become a mother before me. I hate that I have spent so much time and money trying to get my life in order, only for her to have all of the things I want long before I will ever have them. It's frustrating and makes me feel like I've done nothing. I'm 26 years old and have nothing to show for it, except a bunch of freaking debt.

Strange, she runs from the one she can't keep up with.

Things have been rolling along in my life. Sometimes I feel like nothing's happening, and sometimes I feel like a steamroller is on my heels, threatening to crush everything around me at any moment.

I was supposed to have been on a trip to Pennsylvania and New York about a week and a half ago, but due to circumstances beyond my control, my travel companion and I had to reschedule. So I have another six weeks or so until that trip happens. But plenty of things have been happening. I had a decent birthday celebration, both with my self-consumed extended family and with my generous and wonderful friends.

Two days ago, I went to a Stevie Nicks concert in Cincinnati, OH totally and completely alone. It wasn't bad, seeing as how it's not that long of a drive from here. There was some road work that put me getting there later than I had hoped, but I was still there a good 40 minutes before the show. The opening act, Michael Grimm, was really talented and I enjoyed his short set. I was seventh row in the center pit, just left of center stage. It was a great seat and I was really excited to be there. I got my camera in with no issue and managed to get some pretty good pictures from my seat, although they weren't great because my arm kept shaking and I couldn't hold the camera still. During a guitar solo toward the end of "Edge of Seventeen", a bunch of fans got to rush the stage and I was right up front. Stevie always does a walk during this portion of the song and shakes hands with audience members. She didn't shake my hand because the hands directly behind me were higher (fucking tall people), but I managed to touch the top of her hand as she was shaking a hand just to the right of me. It wasn't as magical as I thought it would be, but she was right there, and I couldn't not touch her after she passed me. I would've regretted missing that opportunity, and I am so glad I didn't have to.

She looked and sounded great, and it was really cool getting to hear the newer songs live. This was the fourth time I've seen her live, including twice with Fleetwood Mac. I don't remember the exact order of the songs and I may be missing one or two, but here's a rough setlist from the night.

Stand Back
Secret Love
Dreams
Moonlight (A Vampire's Dream)
Gold Dust Woman
Soldier's Angel
Annabel Lee
For What It's Worth
Rhiannon
Ghosts Are Gone
Edge of Seventeen
Love Is

Oh baby!

For anyone who reads this blog and actually knows me, this is probably news you've already heard. For anyone else, well, if you care, here goes.

My younger sister is 10 weeks pregnant with twins. Obviously, as her older sister I am concerned about her. I worry about her health and comfort level, and the health of the babies. She's not unhealthy, but she's a really picky eater, and I want to be sure the babies are getting all the nutrients they need. I got her some prenatal vitamins with DHA, so hopefully that's going to be a good enough start.

My initial thoughts about the situation were purely stressful. My sister and her husband are not in the best financial situation. Of course, my mother will be able to provide free childcare so that is a major load off their shoulders, but they'll have to move into a bigger apartment and my brother-in-law will have to get a better job. I feel partially responsible for my family. Yes, I moved away, and that separates me from them somewhat. But at the same time, if they ever needed anything, I would feel like it was up to me to help them out. I'm not rolling in money myself, but I get by, and if money got really tight I could get a second job, move into a smaller apartment, or get a piece of junk car instead of the nice one (well, it started out nice) that I have now. I'm comfortable enough, and I don't need financial assistance. Babies are a major expense, and the fact that they have the equivalent of one decent-paying full-time job between the two of them worries me.

Before I had time to truly get over my initial worry, we found out there are two babies instead of one. This means he has to get another job and they have to move into a bigger apartment. No question. I just hope he will step up soon. These babies are going to be well taken care of and incredibly loved, and as worried as I was at first, I am now as excited. I have been fighting my own biological clock for a little while now. I am neither in a financial situation nor in a relationship conducive to child-rearing, but I want children very badly. The fact that I'm going to be able to be around my sister's children so much is going to help me sate my own maternal desires.

I have this major problem about worrying about things that are beyond my control. I need to just relax and let them do what they are going to do, but there are children involved now, and I want them to have the best life possible. I just have to hope everything works out, and I will help as much as I can or as much as I am needed to. Mostly I'm just excited about being an aunt and watching these children grow. I have to focus on that.

Don Jacobs Paint and Body sucks.

Remember all of my car drama in December and January? Yeah, well, I have something to add to it now.

After all that mess where it took so long to get my car back from the body shop and they gave me a coupon for free detailing, I finally took it up there to take advantage of the offer. I got up at 6 this morning and dropped the car off at 7:30. I was in the parking lot before they unlocked the doors. Issue was, I had to be at work at 7:30. So, I had to wait there in the lobby for their shuttle service because, well, I have no one that I can ask to come give me a ride at 7:30 in the morning. I waited there until 10 after 8 and had to ride in a van with six strangers, three of whom got dropped off before me. I didn't get to work until almost nine. I went to pick up my car at 3:00. It was nice and shiny on the outside and I could tell it had been washed and the tires cleaned, but once I got inside I was unsure the job had been done properly. After I got back to work, having checked a few things by glancing while sitting at stoplights, I ensured that, not only had the job not been done properly, it had not been done at all. How could I tell? Well, there was a soda stain in my cupholder, hair on the seats (both cat and mine), and a French fry under the passenger seat. Guess what? Those things were all still there.

Here is the e-mail complaint that I wrote to the dealership:

I had my vehicle repaired at your paint and body shop in December/January. When I picked up my vehicle, I was very displeased with the appearance of the interior. There was paint dust inside and it was clear it had not been cleaned as well as it should have been considering the extensive amount of damage that had been done to my car. My estimator, Tim, gave me a coupon for free detailing for me to use at a later date. I took my car in for this today. When I picked the car up, the outside was nice and clean and my wheels were shiny, but I didn't think the interior had been cleaned as well as it should have been. Sure enough, when I got to my destination I discovered the French fry that had been dropped under my passenger seat was still there.

Seeing as how I paid nothing for either my body work or the detailing, I don't suppose I have any right to complain, but my vehicle initially was in your dealership's posession for five weeks and now you have had it an additional six hours for the detailing. I find the cleanliness of my car to be appalling considering the time wasted at your dealership. I just wanted my complaint to be heard so that you can correct this for future business: future business that absolutely will not be provided by me, as I will never visit your dealership in any capacity again.

So, for anyone who gives a rat's ass, in support of me and my frustration, do not ever visit Don Jacobs Paint and Body in Lexington, KY. Thank you.

I yam who I yam and that's all that I yam.

Hello! My name is Lora and I am a control freak. I think everything should turn out a certain way and when it doesn't I get all freaked out. I think that I am responsible for being the one to take care of everybody, so if you do something I don't think you should, I am going to help you try and "fix" it. I think that everything has a reason for happening, and that if all you do is take life as it comes, you are not living it to its full potential. I also think that you should be constantly trying to better yourself and your situation, so I get pissed off if you are completely content with your life the way that it is, especially when your life is spent with you being poor and undereducated when I think you deserve more than that. I am bossy and particular.

If you don't like it, go away, 'cause I ain't changin'.

The Untalented Miss Riggs

I am good at nothing. This is something that I am finally coming to terms with. All my life, I've always thought I was special. I partially blame my parents for that. But due to thinking I was special, I always thought that eventually, I would be able to do something great with my life.

The very first thing I truly thought I could be good at was acting. I've always been a little overdramatic, and that's part of it, but I am ruled totally by emotion. Isn't that what acting is all about? Tapping into your emotions to portray a character? Why couldn't I do that? I've been practicing my whole life. I create monologues about characters that aren't entirely unlike myself, and I'm always able to evoke tears when the time calls for them. Of course I can act! But that dream died when no one supported it.

Then I tried to convince myself that I was a great singer. My experiences haven't totally gone against this theory either. I was the section leader my last two years of choir in high school, and I had multiple solos and feature parts throughout the years. But I have never heard anyone tell me my voice has brought them to tears, or even evoked emotions from them. I've been complimented on my voice, but to be a great singer, one has to make others feel the lyrics. I don't suppose I can do this. So this dream sort of faded away.

One thing I do know without a doubt that I'm good at is putting others before myself. I have let people mock me and belittle me and not fought back because I didn't want people to get upset with me. I am a good friend. I put others desires before my own, and I don't ask for anything in return except the attention that it requires to even allow me to be in those peoples' presence. I want to take care of people, and I want to please them. But the problem is that this one aspect of my life that I actually show strength in is my greatest weakness. In my last blog, I spoke about the hatred that I had been feeling in the weeks prior. I think that a lot of the reason I was so angry was because I got tired of the way people were making me feel so inconsequential, but in reality I set myself up for that in the first place. How should I expect others to respect me or care about me if I can't even give myself the same courtesy?

But old habits die hard, and it's going to be really difficult for me to change behaviors that I've been carrying on for a dozen years or more. Being more outspoken and telling people what I want from them is one of the things I've been trying recently, but I have a bad feeling that prior events have pushed some people that I care about out of my life completely. I do believe that there are people that care about me, but most don't care about me enough to do the kind of work that will keep me close. I enjoy having lots of friends, but I've always been the kind of person that would rather have a few really close friends than a lot of casual acquaintances.

So, in conclusion, I guess what I'm saying is the only thing I'm good at is being a doormat.

The last few weeks of my life, I have basically hated myself. I've hated my job, the person I've become, the excuses I make for not changing things in my life. If it's there, I've hated it. I have always had vague goals that I was working toward to improve myself. But apparently somewhere along the way, I either got derailed from these goals, or they changed so drastically that they got lost in everything else that was going on inside of me. There's still part of me that thinks I maybe need to be on medication. I have this really bad habit of getting mad about something, letting it fester inside of me while I pretend I'm not mad, then I get so furious that I explode. Sometimes I explode on other people. When I was growing up, this tended to be my sister. I don't ever mean to hurt people, but when this rage finally ends up bursting out of me, someone in its path always gets battle wounds. This weekend I blew up, and not in a private way. I blew up in front of a bunch of people at a really inopportune time. The worst part: I was drunk and don't remember exactly what I blew up about. Fortunately, today I have felt less stress and anger than I have in a really long time, so I guess it was good that I got to purge. It just sucks the way that it happened. I apologized to people who fell in the path of my rage. That's all I can do, because I cannot take it back. But honestly, right now all I want to do is run away from anything and anybody in my life and completely start all over, and in some place completely and utterly random, like Idaho. I can't correct mistakes I've made, and people may not be able to forget them, but if I were to have a clean slate, maybe I wouldn't feel like I was such a demented piece of garbage.

Relax, go to it.

I will never live a stress-free life.

I can't. My mind won't let me. If I'm not stressed about money, I'm stressed about my health (needlessly, mind you). If it's not that, it's my relationship status (or lack thereof). I just can't win, and I don't understand it. Am I afraid of being happy? Am I preventing myself from relaxing, or has my life up to now conditioned me to believe that a new stressful situation is just around the corner, so I don't relax out of routine? I'm not saying I never relax at all. There are fleeting moments, where all of the stars align and the feng shui is just so, and I can have a few hours of sheer bliss. But then the worry of another day at work, or another day of tightening the pursestrings in order to eat, comes along, and I'm back to square one. Vacation is incredibly helpful in all this. Any time I'm away from home/work/family, I can totally chill out. I don't think about what has to be done when I get home, or worry about what's coming out of my next paycheck. Any time I'm away from Kentucky, I feel totally uninhibited.

It's kind of funny, though. Right now I'm in the middle of planning three trips over the course of the next three months. One hotel stay is paid for, but the rest of my expenses have yet to be covered, and I am totally freaking out over it. Usually I just charge it and worry about it later, but my credit cards are all maxed out. (Thanks, new bite guard. Thanks, new eyeglasses.) I could nix a trip, but I have been looking so forward to them all, and there's one I absolutely can't get out of. I'm stressing about planning something that is going to allow me to destress. Ironic.

Thankfully I have this new Stevie Nicks album to help me through. Otherwise I'd be a total nutcase right now.

Poo on you, Paste Magazine.

Here's another review of In Your Dreams that I take issue with. Specifically, the part I have a problem with is the part that calls "Wide Sargasso Sea," "a corny, overcooked tale of fading beauty, tarnished lust, and backfiring arson." If anyone is to blame for the cheesiness of "Wide Sargasso Sea," it is the screenwriters of the film that inspired the song. If people did their research, then I think the reviews would be a little more positive. You have to put the music into context. Stevie Nicks songs are not stand-alone. They are always part of something else.

This article is another that mentions the changes in Stevie's voice. Don't make me reiterate my previous post, people. I mean, to insult the voice of someone like Whitney Houston, who has squandered her talent the last ten years and has allowed her vocal cords to be damaged by hard living and drug use, is one thing. But to insult a 60-year-old woman's voice for natural aging is pathetic. Yes, Stevie's voice is far different than it was 30 years ago. I'll give you that. And yes, some of the damage was caused by drug use and hard living. However, everyone knew that going into this album. Stevie's voice is, if anything, better than it was on her last album. She has been working hard at maintaining her voice. She has a vocal coach, which is something she never had in the '70s and '80s, because she realizes now - after all of her life experience - that a beautiful voice is a gift. It is a blessing that has been received that can easily be taken away. Just ask Julie Andrews. As a matter of fact, ask Stevie herself, who had doctors tell her in the late '80s that she was lucky she could still sing at all thanks to all the cocaine she put up her nose.

She has a dime-sized hole in her nasal passages. That is why her voice is nasally. *sigh* I just get really tired of people listening to an album once by an artist they know very little about, and being able to put their opinions of this album and artist out where the public can read them. It's so annoying.

In Your Dreams

Tomorrow morning I will hold in my hand a brand-spanking-new copy of Stevie Nicks' album In Your Dreams, something that represents a year of waiting for me and so many other fans. This is the first album of all new songs that Stevie has released in ten years. Granted, a live album that came out sometime in '09 had a couple songs that Stevie had never recorded, but this is all original material - poetry for a new generation.

Sidenote: The album has been available for a week through a stream on Rolling Stone's website. I have listened to the album nearly a dozen times, so this is how I feel I'm adequately prepped for not only analyzing the following review, but for forming opinions of my own.

Now, I wouldn't say that all reviews of the album have been glowing, but they have been positive, until Slant Magazine's review that I just read earlier today. You can view the full article here. Here are some of my favorite snippets:

But In Your Dreams indulges in some of Nicks's worst tendencies as a songwriter and is slathered in chintzy, dated production values.
Funny that you say that, considering one of the first comments someone made to me was about how good the production quality of the album is. Additionally, the "chintzy" quality that you reference was actually created on purpose in order to evoke a particular feel.

Unfortunately, the poor quality of the songwriting falls primarily on Nicks's shoulders. "Moonlight (A Vampire's Dream)" was inspired by her viewing of The Twilight Saga: New Moon while on tour, and it boasts exactly the same degree of depth as Stephenie Meyer's vapid, wooden prose.
Actually, Stevie generally takes full writing credit herself, but for most of the songs on this album, it is shared. So how does this fall primarily on her shoulders? Now, Stevie has stated in interviews that the first two verses of this song were written in the mid-1970s, and that she was inspired to complete the song after viewing New Moon. Also, it can be noted that this is merely one of three songs on this album that draws inspiration from literature. I would hardly call that writing that lacks depth.

Even worse is "New Orleans," ... That the melody lifts at the end of each line overemphasizes the final word of those lines, giving the song an obnoxious, stilted cadence. It's perhaps the worst song in Nicks's entire catalogue, reducing the culture of New Orleans to Bourbon Street and vampire lore.
I take issue with a couple of things here. First of all, an obnoxious cadence? What does that even mean? And calling a song the worst song in Nicks' catalogue? How can you make that claim? Have you sifted through dozens of her rough, unfinished demos (like I and so many dozens of other fans have)? Or are you simply considering polished, completed album cuts in this "catalogue"? Additionally, I seem to recall the first few lines of the song making reference to the storm-ravaged New Orleans, and other lines referencing the French Quarter, Mardi Gras, and the city's art culture, so I wouldn't say that she's neglecting any aspect of New Orleans culture.

"Italian Summer" misses its mark almost as badly, with hollow exclamations about how the hard rain in Italy is "so romantic" and, oddly, "soulful."
This statement is particularly hilarious to me, because of the fact that this song contains one of Nicks' best vocal performances ever. And actually, "so romantic" and "soulful" are in reference to the summer in Italy, not the rain itself. You might want to listen to the narrative a little more closely.

The reserved acoustic strumming that drives "For What It's Worth" only exacerbates the song's monotonous melody, highlighting how much range and power Nicks's voice has lost in the decade since the underappreciated Trouble in Shangri-La.
I agree that TiSL is underappreciated, and of course Nicks' voice has changed since then. That was ten years ago, and the woman is in her mid-60s now. As a music critic, you should simply be thrilled that auto-tune is not required on this album, and you should be noting the fact that many of Nicks' contemporaries have stopped even attempting to release new music.

The further away I get from this review, the more furious it makes me. Naturally, everyone is entitled their own opinion, and the opinions of many are bound to differ with mine, but a 1 1/2 star rating is hardly fair to anyone. What's particularly irritating about this article to me is the fact that the reviewer keeps referencing Nicks' previous albums, specifically Trouble in Shangri-La (far from her finest work) and the Fleetwood Mac album Rumours. I've already addressed TiSL and the fact that Stevie's voice has definitely changed since that time, but I would hardly say it lost any power. In fact, since 2005, Stevie's voice has gotten considerably stronger, following a weakened period due to years of drug use. As for Rumours, it was written and recorded over 30 years ago. It's unfair to compare the voice/songwriting ability of a woman in her late 20s whose creativity was partially fueled by drugs and an incredibly public and tumultous breakup to that of a seasoned woman in her 60s who has been living a life of luxury for the last few decades. Most of Stevie's writing now comes from poetry written years ago that she is now reworking and putting her more mature perspective on. Maybe as a fan, I am biased. But, as an English major, I certainly am not. Stevie's songwriting, if it has changed at all, has only gotten technically better. She has always written her music without paying much attention to person, gender, or grammar. Her songs have always been about the flow of the words rather than the consistency of the narrative (something that, oddly, I have always struggled with in my own writing). The songs on In Your Dreams suffer less from this problem than much of her other work has. (I seem to recall what became a pretty heated discussion, during the making of Fleetwood Mac's Say You Will, with Lindsey Buckingham regarding this very issue.) Granted, I find this particular quality of her songwriting to be a plus rather than a negative, but to each his/her own.

I may not be qualified on paper to be a music critic, but considering my degree, the fact that I have taken several music history classes, and the fact that I am more familiar with Stevie Nicks' body of work than probably 95% of music critics/teachers/analysts, I would say I am more than qualified to critique this album. It's not perfect; I readily admit that. In fact, I consider "Cheaper Than Free" a low point, and way closer to that "worst song" status than "New Orleans". But as a collective work? I venture to say this is better than the critic's precious Trouble in Shangri-La, or even earlier Nicks' albums like The Other Side of the Mirror (which I love).

I hate, loathe, despise, and abominate money.

I had this big idea that I was going to pay off my credit card in three years.

It would be nice if I could actually live on a completely restricted budget, but there are always issues that arise. For example, having to travel for family-related things that you didn't plan for, therefore spending more gas money. Having to buy a new bite guard to prevent myself from grinding my teeth to pieces in my sleep. Having to buy new glasses. It's always something. This past week has definitely been something for me. In the past year, not only have I not made a dent in my $3600 of existing credit card debt, but I have built up $600 more. ($330 of this since last Thursday.) I could always get a second job again, which never actually allows me to get ahead financially and makes me tired as fuck to boot. I could take on a roommate, which would definitely save me a couple hundred a month in living expenses (if not more).

But what do I have to sacrifice in order to get out of debt? Granted, I've known of people who had tens of thousands in credit card debt, so I don't suppose I have all that much to worry about right now. I can afford my monthly credit card payment, so at least I'm not paying late fees and overages and having things charged off on my credit report. I just sometimes feel that I'm under unnecessary pressure. I'm only 25 years old, and I have a car payment and student loans to worry about. I'd have to be making twice what I do in order to feel like I'm making a dent in my debt. But why am I in such a hurry to get it all paid off? I'm not behind on things. I'm not going to get evicted; my car's not going to get repossessed. Why can't I just chill out? Why do we all feel such pressure to keep up with the Joneses?

It's America, man. What the hell is our problem?

I remember a time when Natalie Dee used to be my life. Today I miss that time in my life.



Click the comic to go to Natalie Dee's website. Also check out Toothpaste for Dinner and Married to the Sea, my favorite.

Baby loves to dance in the dark, 'cause when he's looking she falls apart.

I see it's been a while since I posted. I certainly think the death of Elizabeth Taylor warrants a murmur.

Firstly, I do want to mention Lady Gaga. March 12th was the Lady Gaga concert in Louisville, and I will admit that between her set and the opening act, I was getting a little antsy. The Scissor Sisters only played a thirty minute set before the hour-long intermission, but once Gaga was onstage, she more than made up for it. The set was elaborate, and the whole show was set up kind of like a rock opera, with her and friends having their car break down on their way to the concert. She was onstage more than the back-up dancers, and the costume changes were incredibly quick. The only times she left the stage were for set changes, and I'd say that was for less than twenty minutes out of the entire two hours that she played. Her energy was amazing, and she sang all of her really big hits. She even sang a lesser hit which is a personal favorite of mine, "Dance in the Dark". She is one immensely talented individual, and the ticket price was more than worth it. Plus, I found a $100 leaving the arena, so that ended up being my shirt + gas money. All in all, it was a great night.

Now, to Dame Elizabeth. I will admit, I am not a very big Elizabeth Taylor fan. I admire her much more for her personal attributes than for her contributions to film. In fact, I never really considered her to be very talented until seeing her in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof less than a year ago. But I haven't seen very many of her movies, so I suppose I should do my research before making any further judgments for or against her talents. Elizabeth was, however, an incredibly beautiful and classy woman, and despite having eight very highly publicized marriages (and ensuing divorces), she was quite a private woman. Those attributes, in addition to her relentless charity work for HIV/AIDS research, are why I admire her. She always prevailed in the face of scandal, and the opinions of all who knew her personally really attest to her great qualities. She was the last of the true Hollywood Legends, and she will be greatly missed by all.

OMG. WTF? ROTFL!

I had a lot of respect for Chuck Norris until I read this article, posted yesterday on World Net Daily. In italics you will see my commentary. And apparently this article is part 1 of 2, so be prepared for more.

U.S. public schools: Progressive indoctrination camps
by Chuck Norris
via World Net Daily

Why should liberals want to change the public educational system when it is turning out the product they have been striving for years to produce?

Check out these real news headlines from the past several weeks and months about the state of U.S. public education across the country:

"U.S. teachers tell U.N. sex is a 'spectrum' – advocate mandatory classes to free students from 'religion'"

"Principal orders Ten Commandments yanked from school lockers"
Separation of Church and State, buddy. Nothing new there.

"Teens ask for more sex ed, greater condom availability"
Teaching abstinence only DOES NOT WORK. There is research on this.

"State university defines Christians as 'oppressors'"

"Why Catholic schools score better than public schools"
Because they have more money?

"Teachers take charge to save ailing public schools"

"Schools' mandatory Arabic classes create firestorm"

"District taking money, but censoring Christians?"
I'm sorry, what does that even mean?

"No opting out of pro-gay school propaganda"
Clearly this school is not in the South.

"District pays up for slamming student's rosary"

"Judge cites homeschoolers for violating U.N. mandate – Police interrogate parents, confiscate their curriculum"

"Some say schools giving Muslims special treatment"

On Dec. 27, 1820, Thomas Jefferson wrote about his vision for the University of Virginia (chartered in 1819), "This institution will be based on the illimitable freedom of the human mind. For here we are not afraid to follow the truth wherever it may lead, nor to tolerate any error as long as reason is left free to combat it."
Yes, let's cite something that someone said 200 years ago. Because that's relevant.

But what should happen 200 years later when our public schools and universities avoid the testing of truths? Or suppress alternate opinions because they are unpopular or politically incorrect? I thought alternate opinions was what you were dissing here? Or no longer tolerate opinions now considered errors or obsolete by the elite? What happens when sociopolitical agendas or scientific paradigms dominate academic views to the exclusion of a minority even being mentioned? Huh?

What happens when the political and public educational pendulum swings from concern for the tyranny of sectarianism in Jefferson's day to secularism in ours? Did a ghost writer write this for you? Seriously. What happens when U.S. public schools become progressive indoctrination camps? CAMPS?

Dr. Jim Nelson Black, founder and senior policy analyst of the Sentinel Research Associates in Washington, D.C., wrote an excellent book, "Freefall of the American University." In it, he documents the clear biases pervading our public academic settings. Among that lopsidedness is the intentional training of students to disdain America, freely experiment sexually, forcefully defend issues like abortion and homosexuality, as well as become cultural advocates for political correctness, relativism, globalization, green agendas and tolerance for all.

This is where I have to stop things. I have never known a public school in this country to teach one to disdain America. Private schools? I don't know, maybe. I never attended private school, so that's not information I am privy to. My school did not teach me to freely experiment sexually. It taught me that sex was wrong and evil and could send me to Hell. I did learn in college that if I'm going to have sex, my partner needs to wear a condom. That's not sexual experimentation; it's disease prevention. No school I attended defended abortion or homosexuality. In fact, the college I went to allowed what Mr. Norris would call "conservatives" to display photographs of aborted babies as a scare tactic to prevent abortion. I would hardly call that defending abortion. As for the closing statement, are green agendas and tolerance bad things? If so, Mr. Norris's world is not one I would choose to live in.

One of the primary ways these educative platforms are spread is by recruiting and retaining faculty members who reflect and teach them. For example, citing from the polling firm of Luntz Research, Dr. Black notes that the 57 percent of faculty members represented in our most esteemed universities are Democrats (only 3 percent Republican) and 64 percent identify themselves as liberal (only 6 percent conservative). The reason for these skewed numbers is simple: Republicans and conservatives find themselves above education. If you polled the employment at brokerage firms, or even those Catholic schools Mr. Norris seems so fond of, I'm sure the numbers would look quite different. Moreover, 71 percent of them disagree that "news coverage of political and social issues reflects a liberal bias in the news media." Fox News anyone? And the No. 1 answer they gave to the question, "Who has been the best president in the past 40 years?" was Bill Clinton (only 4 percent said Ronald Reagan). It would be imporant here to cite the ages of people polled. Many of them could not have been of voting age (or even born) at the time Reagan was in office. Also, people's memories of a President 15 years ago is going to supercede memories of a President 25 years ago. That's just simple math.

This is why it is no surprise that the two largest teachers unions, the NEA and AFT, are the largest campaign contributors in the nation (giving more than the Teamsters, NRA or any other organization), and that 90 percent of their contributions fund Democratic candidates. In doing so, do we think such funding is going to balance traditional and conservative values in public schools? If someone is so concerned with "the agenda" of the school their child is attending, then I'm sure this sort of person would be more than willing to pay tuition for their child to attend a school that teaches other values.

The impact of progressivism is being experienced by students across this land, hundreds of thousands of whom have already cried out with complaints of academic inequity. Academic inequity has nothing to do with cirriculum, only funding. And isn't it the conservatives who are voting to pull education funding? A sampling of the hundreds of student grievances from across the academic spectrum can even be found on websites like the Students for Academic Freedom and NoIndoctrination.org.

It is also no surprise that an average of 6,000 students every year is leaving the approximately 94,000 public schools in America. There are other factors here aside from the education. Teenage pregnancy is a major contributor to dropout rates. Teaching abstinence-only leads to what? Teenage pregnancy. Bam. If the power-to-be over our public schools, like government and unions, continue to oppose conservative curricula and impose overarching liberal educational revisions and laws, public schools will continue to experience an exodus.

I fully realize there are some great conservative people on the staffs of many public schools and universities, but I know virtually all of them would concur that a liberal bias in our academic curricula and system is overwhelmingly dominant and ubiquitous.

Is this present, restrictive and one-sided educational environment that which Thomas Jefferson and other founders intended for the future generations of America? Absolutely not! Rather than encourage free thinking, the U.S. academic system has turned Jefferson's plans for open education into our culture's system of indoctrination. Conservativism at its core rejects free thinking.

So long, Carrell.

Steve Carrell's last day of work on The Office is today. Big Love is within its last month on the air. Even for someone who doesn't have cable or satellite, and only watches television from time to time on the internet, this is a sad time in television, as far as I'm concerned.

I used to be a television addict. I'm still way too tuned in to pop culture, but I watch far less television than I used to. Wait, scratch that. I watch far less live television than I used to. I still have my TV on constantly, but I'm mostly watching DVDs of series that have long been off the air. I have the complete series of Will & Grace, Arrested Development and Reba, four seasons of Friends, two seasons of The Golden Girls, seven of the eight seasons of Bewitched, one season of 227, and the first two seasons of True Blood. I just received Friends and True Blood for Christmas, so I had even less to watch three months ago than I do now. I do occassionally watch movies (of which I have many), but when I'm home I'm usually just cycling through those television seasons, or watching whatever I've gotten in the mail through Netflix.

Anyway, the point is, two of my favorite series currently airing are closing chapters. Big Love is ending (on what I hope and pray is a good note, after a fourth season trainwreck and a rocky final season). The Office might as well be ending, because removing Michael Scott from Dunder Mifflin would be like watching...what's a fair comparison? It will be like watching Cheers without Sam Malone, or The Mary Tyler Moore Show without Lou Grant. Sure, other major members of the cast will remain, and there will still be other stories, but how can you have a workplace comedy without the boss? Or an ensemble show without everyone's favorite buffoon? I am anxious to see the remaining episodes, especially the ones featuring Will Ferrell, but I can't imagine anyone else running that office as well as Steve Carrell. Unless of course, it would be the new company overlord Kathy Bates, but she has her own show now, so that dream is dead.

I just hope The Office isn't the next show to go on to that great television set in the sky, because I will miss having the sweet romance of Jim and Pam in my life as a reminder that love really does exist. And it's sad that I need TV characters to remind me of that.

FWC FTW!

Goldie Hawn tweeted yesterday: Just had the most fab lunch with Diane and Bette talking about another film! Best part was being together!

Anybody who has any sort of pop culture knowledge whatsoever knows that Diane and Bette refer to Keaton and Midler respectively. If this tweet means there is going to be a sequel to The First Wives Club, I am going to kill myself. No no. You don't understand. I will have to kill myself if there is a sequel to The First Wives Club, because nothing greater or of higher importance will ever happen to me as long as I live. Ever. Okay, I take that back. If Bette Midler and Stevie Nicks did anything together - recorded a duet, wrote a song, performed a concert - that would be the best thing of all time. But a First Wives Club sequel would just be...I can't even describe what feelings I would have to see this come to fruition!

There have been whispers of a sequel to this movie for years. Bette has even mentioned it in interviews before, saying that it has been talked about but that Hollywood views the three of them as being too old to carry a film (which was actually said when the first one was done). But with the recent turnaround (Mamma Mia anyone?) at the box office, I totally think that the studios could have a really big hit on their hands. The first movie was done through Paramount, so I don't know if they have the rights, or where things stand on that front, but personally I think any studio would have to be stupid to turn down three high caliber stars such as Hawn, Keaton, and Midler. It would be a goldmine!

Of course, I'm probably biased.

UPDATE: Bette Midler tweeted this about 30 minutes ago:

Three First Wives yakking about their new movie project.... @goldiehawn

With this picture:

I. Died.

My supervisor today actually asked me if I knew why Kris Kristofferson introduced Barbra Streisand at last night's Grammy Awards. Bitch, please. I know more about the legacy that is A Star Is Born than you ever possibly could.

Dear Guy that wasn't paying attention and ran a stoplight, hitting my car on December 19, 2010:

Thank you so much for your inattention to traffic signals, as I am still reeling from the effects of your actions. You caused me to be without my car for five straight weeks, during which I had to pay for a rental car because your insurance policy didn't fully cover that. Then, after driving my car for a week, I had to be without it again in order to have another issue fixed that was caused by the impact of your vehicle against mine. By the time I get it back, I will have been without my car for another week. I have suffered incalculable amounts of stress due to this accident, not to mention financial strain. I have, since December 19, had to make two payments on my automobile. Nearly $700 paid toward a vehicle that I have been able to drive for one week out of the past seven.

I have suffered stress not only because of the absence of my vehicle during this time, but also due to the lack of good service that I have received from the repair facility, including but not limited to the fact that my car was returned to me in far less than the immaculate condition in which I have always kept it. But, I do suppose I am partially to blame for this problem, since I was the one that chose the repair facility in the first place.

I am sure, good sir, that your vehicle was totalled and your issues were resolved quickly and efficiently. Since you are a male, I have no doubt that the insurance and body shop gods have smiled upon you in recent weeks and gotten things done in a timely manner in order to appease you. I wish I were able to receive the same courtesies in life. However, since I was not born with a penis, people tend to think they can walk all over me, since I clearly don't possess enough testosterone (aka "intelligence") to have any idea what I'm talking about in any situation.

I hope the holiday season treated you well, and I hope you are enjoying whatever vehicle you are driving at this time. I hope your mother (aka the insurance policy holder) did give you a good scolding for the deductible she more than likely had to pay due to your transgression. Good luck in the future, and thank you again for fucking up my life so supremely.

Yours truly,
Claimant

woes

I finally got my car back on Monday of last week. You'd think that would be the end of the saga, right? No. Wrong.

When I picked my car up from the body shop, five weeks exactly from the day the vehicle was delivered there, it was filthy. Granted, I don't know much about the policies of auto body shops, but you'd think that if you had to remove and replace an entire door on a vehicle, plus paint it, that you'd clean it up a little bit. Fortunately the fabric on the interior was okay for the most part, but every non-fabric surface inside my car had to be wiped down. There was dust from the air bags, and paint dust, all over. I was furious. I have always kept my car impeccably clean, and the fact that they had inconvenienced me even further...I cannot explain to you the anger that I felt. Plus my seatbelt wouldn't retract, so that was just an added bonus. I had to leave work to pick up my car in the first place, but I couldn't stand the dirtiness so I went to Walmart and bought some Armor All and cleaning rags, and I cleaned the car out. I cleaned so much grime off of the interior, plus the whole seatbelt thing that was going on, that I decided to go back to the body shop and complain. I had them fix the seatbelt first, which took all of five minutes, and then brought the claims guy over to my car with me to show him the rag that I had used to clean the car. I told him how upset I was, and he took the rag to his supervisor to show him. They gave me a coupon for free detailing. I wasn't really happy with that. (They didn't detail the car in the first place, so why would I just assume they would do it, and do it well, if I took it back up there?) But I didn't pay a dime for any of the repairs done, so there was really nothing else they could have done to appease me. Fine, whatever, I thanked the guy and tried to shrug the experience off. After I returned to work (two hours later) and complained to anyone who would listen, that is.

So, then, Friday I took the car to the dealership for its 15000 mile check-up. When I had picked up the car from the body shop on Monday, the fuel gauge showed a full tank. I knew I didn't have a full tank when I wrecked, so I just assumed they filled it and didn't think twice about. Didn't think about it on Friday either. Then on Saturday I drove to Lawrenceburg to visit a couple of the bourbon distilleries. On my way back into Lexington, I realized my gauge was still on full, which was impossible. I hadn't driven all that far between Monday and Friday, but all the way to Lawrenceburg? There was no way it was still full. When I went out for coffee Saturday night I thought I should fill up. Maybe the gauge would reset? Anyway, it cost me $41.26 to fill up my car, and my fuel tank capacity is 13.2 gallons. I put over 13 in the car. I got so lucky that I didn't run out of gas.

This morning I dropped off my car at the body shop so they could have they fuel gauge checked out. That was about a quarter after 9. Six hours later, and I've heard nothing. But I don't suppose I should be surprised. I'm in another rental car, but at least this time I don't have to pay for it. *sigh*

Update

Well, guess what? Still waiting to get my car back. It was supposed to be Friday, then it was supposed to be today, now it will be late tomorrow or early Thursday. I have had it up to my ears with this thing.

In other news, my great uncle passed away last week, so I had to go to Campbellsville and then Elizabethtown for family stuff and the funeral service over the weekend.

I also got an iPhone on Saturday. (Yay.) And, possibly most important of all, a release date for Stevie Nicks' new album was announced. It's available for pre-order, and I got a free download of one of the new songs for pre-ordering. I have listened to it over a dozen times since Thursday, and I even created a ringtone from the song. I am so pumped. In fact, things over the past several days really seemed to be going my way until the news about another delay on my car, so I guess I should just suck it up and stop complaining. But I'm pretty sure the Earth would actually stop revolving if I were to be completely happy for more than a day. Something had to ruin my mood for the good of the rest of the human race. I suppose that's a sacrifice I can make.

Oh! And remember when I got runner-up on the D-Listed CAPTION THIS contest twice in one week some time back? Well, for yesterday's contest I was the mutha effin' winner. See the brilliance here.

Well, still waiting to get my car back after my accident. I've been in a rental since December 20th. I am feeling slightly less frustrated with my situation today than I have been. I mentioned the change in our pay schedules in an earlier blog. Today was the first paycheck out of this new schedule. This particular check was actually larger than usual, but due to the changeover, this pay was for 12 days instead of 10, so that was why. Checks that follow will be for less. But I can't complain. $100 extra bucks on my first check this month, and no car payment to come out of my January pay. I'm using this extra money to pay down some money I charged on my second credit card. Also, I only have a little over three months left on my lease at my current apartment, and I plan on moving somewhere with lower rent, so I can't wait for that.

A little less than two months left until the Lady Gaga concert. I have that to look forward to, at least.