Long time no see, Internets. How's it going? Oh, me? I'm doing okay. Obviously I have not stuck to writing as a creative outlet to make me forget about my miserable existence and general aimlessness. I know I said I was going to write more, but when I have a couch and episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia calling my name, I tend to not be so productive any more.
I am on here to write today though, and to write about something I truly truly care about - Bette Midler. That's right, folks! It's movie review time!
I have known about Bette Midler's newest film Parental Guidance since it was in pre-production, so I have been anxiously waiting to see her onscreen again for quite some time. More than a year, as a matter of fact. My original plan, after finding out about Barbra Streisand's new one, The Guilt Trip, was to do a double feature on Christmas Day. My family from Texas decided to come in for the holidays, so that changed my plans a little bit. Yesterday, though, is going on the books as one of the greatest days in recent history for me. I did Parental Guidance at 7:35 and The Guilt Trip at 9:35, giving me just enough time to make a bathroom stop before the previews for the second film started. I was giddy, trying not to anxiously tap my feet or randomly shout out yips like an excited puppy. Maintaining my cool was difficult. (In fact, this whole year has been spectacular film-wise for me. Shirley MacLaine had Bernie, Meryl Streep had Hope Springs, and Susan Sarandon had a couple of supporting roles. Since all five of these women are my imaginary lovers - Streisand to a lesser degree than the others - I have been pretty stoked about cinema this year.) So, without further ado in regards to my...weirdness...I present you with my opinions on my Most Anticipated Films of 2012.
Billy Crystal is a funny guy that tries really, really hard to be funny. Sometimes too hard. That was obvious in Parental Guidance. Some of his jokes fell flat or felt awkwardly placed (no one always has a witty retort to lighten the mood during emotional times), and as someone who has tried for years to escape their family's obsession with baseball, the fact that Crystal's character was so wrapped up in the game sort of put me off. Marisa Tomei was great as the neurotic mom, and there was a really funny role-playing thing between her and Tom Everett Scott that contained just the right amount of weird to work. Bailee Madison is a pretty fantastic little actress and Kyle Breitkopf was utterly charming, even at his brattiest. Joshua Rush, as the middle grandchild, was all kinds of adorable, even with his obviously fake stuttering. Bette was severely underused. It was obvious her character was the knockabout, the one always either striving to please her daughter or struggling to get her husband to notice her. Other than the mention of her having been a weather girl when she was younger, you don't really learn much about her character. She had one scene where she cried (like you could keep me from crying while I'm watching her well up) and another where she sang (again, giddy here), and I thought she looked just great. I really enjoyed the movie and could have easily watched it twice back to back. My only complaints were really about the lack of good lines for Bette and the fact that the movie felt a little rushed. There was little room for character development, and too much focus on Crystal as the reluctant grandfather instead of focus on the grandmother who really wanted desperately to be more involved in her grandchildren's lives. But the movie had just the right amount of schmaltz to work for me, and I would definitely recommend it as a rainy day flick.
I could tell from the previews I was going to enjoy The Guilt Trip. I love Seth Rogen and everything that he does due to my crush on his 'fro. Right from the start, the movie had me laughing. The dialogue was genuinely funny, not just chuckle-worthy, and Rogen's character is so awkward that you can't help but grin as he fumbles to look like a respectable businessman. Streisand looks phenomenal, with just the right amount of frump thrown in to make you forget you're watching perfectionist and world-renowned singer and class act Barbra Streisand. Obviously, most of the film is devoted to mother-son bonding due to the road trip theme, but there is also a little time to show off Rogen's character as this brilliant scientist/inventor and develop a love interest storyline for Streisand. There is also one incredibly well-done scene where mother and son butt heads due to being completely fed up with one another. (The film's one use of the f-word gets to be utilized by Streisand, and it was AWESOME.) There's a sweet little twist near the end, and the movie leaves you feeling like both characters (fully developed, flawed characters) have grown due to their excursion. Personally, I could not get over how flawless Streisand looked. Her hips have widened and she's added a little weight with her age, but with her hooked nose and slightly crossed eyes, she is just perfectly imperfect. Her hair is softer around the edges, curving nicely toward her face versus the angular bob that has been her signature look for the past twenty years. Age has treated her very well, and the over-protective Jewish mother thing doesn't seem contrived with her. This movie was worth the 15-year wait since her last major role. Brava.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Pinterest Project: Muffins!
I love muffins of pretty much any kind. I had some bananas that were blackening rather rapidly, so I decided to hold on to them and find a banana muffin recipe. I looked at several recipes through Pinterest and pretty quickly I found one that seemed simple and didn't require a lot of work so I decided to go with that one.
Here's the recipe.
Unfortunately, I discovered after I already started to mix the ingredients that I had no flour or cinnamon. Fortunately, I live a quarter of a mile from Kroger, so I left the pre-heating oven on and covered my bowl so the cat wouldn't get into it, and went and picked up the remaining ingredients. Now, I tend to like my bananas a little riper than the next person. In fact, I have scolded co-workers upon finding perfectly good-looking bananas in the trash. So the fact that you are supposed to put fairly ripe bananas into banana bread recipes excited me just a little. I only had two bananas left from my recent grocery trip (prior to the emergency Kroger run), so I decided to halve the recipe so I wouldn't risk my muffins not being banana-y enough. That also kept me from eating a dozen muffins in three days. The other half banana I had left made for a nice little pre-baking snack.
Now, I also didn't have any nuts, so I decided to put a sweet little twist on my muffins. While they were still piping hot and just out of the oven, I melted a piece from a Hershey bar I had in my cabinet and drizzled it on the tops of the muffins. Mmmm. Nothing better than chocolate and banana, right?
Here's the recipe.
Unfortunately, I discovered after I already started to mix the ingredients that I had no flour or cinnamon. Fortunately, I live a quarter of a mile from Kroger, so I left the pre-heating oven on and covered my bowl so the cat wouldn't get into it, and went and picked up the remaining ingredients. Now, I tend to like my bananas a little riper than the next person. In fact, I have scolded co-workers upon finding perfectly good-looking bananas in the trash. So the fact that you are supposed to put fairly ripe bananas into banana bread recipes excited me just a little. I only had two bananas left from my recent grocery trip (prior to the emergency Kroger run), so I decided to halve the recipe so I wouldn't risk my muffins not being banana-y enough. That also kept me from eating a dozen muffins in three days. The other half banana I had left made for a nice little pre-baking snack.
Now, I also didn't have any nuts, so I decided to put a sweet little twist on my muffins. While they were still piping hot and just out of the oven, I melted a piece from a Hershey bar I had in my cabinet and drizzled it on the tops of the muffins. Mmmm. Nothing better than chocolate and banana, right?
I have to say, they were quite good. I may use this recipe more often. I mean, it's always nice when I don't make a complete mess or destroy a household appliance while cooking.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Pinterest Project: Epic Foodie Fail
Fall is here, which means all I want to do is cuddle up on the couch, drink hot tea, eat soup, and never leave my house. Out of all the soup recipes I have found on Pinterest lately, the one I thought sounded the simplest to prepare was a roasted cauliflower and white cheddar soup. The recipe I worked with can be found here.
I had to purchase most of the ingredients specifically for the soup, as I don't keep my pantry stocked for occasions like this at all. I went out of my way to travel to Whole Foods for the aged white cheddar (two different Krogers did not have ANY aged cheeses in their deli department). I bought bakery-prepared bread to dip in the soup. Prep started out pretty normal for me. I had slight difficulty with the onion chopping, as always, although I didn't tear up terribly bad. My house did smell like onions until I took out the trash a couple days later, and in fact my cutting board still reeks, but that will eventually dissipate. Also, when it came time to shred the cheese, I basically just had to shave it, as I do not own a grater and wasn't about to buy one just for one recipe.
Everything went fairly smoothly as I began cooking the soup mixture. It smelled amazing.
Now, this is where the project went wrong. I managed to pour the steaming hot soup into my blender without spilling much. Maybe I should have done this blender thing differently. After all, the recipe does mention something about a stick blender (I have no idea what that is.) I turned the blender on and immediately the lid buckled and some liquid escaped. Okay, no big deal. I turned off the blender and readjusted the lid and tried again, this time placing a towel over the lid to absorb any liquid that might get out. I turned the blender on and soup sprayed EVERYWHERE. It wasn't until the blender was off and I had lifted the towel that I realized why. The cap portion of the lid had fallen all the way through the center and into the blender. I unplugged the blender and poured everything back into the pot. This is what the cap looked like when I fished it out of the soup.
I went ahead and added the cheese and milk to the soup mixture and fished out the plastic I could find, but unfortunately, when I tried to eat a small bowl of the soup I still found several shavings. I decided it wasn't worth the digging and just tossed the soup after letting it cool. I was very disappointed in the inability of my blender (which I rarely use) to hold up under pressure. I have yet to decide whether I will try this recipe again. The most disappointing part of this whole thing was the money I spent on the cheese alone. I can always use cheese, I suppose. I just never thought I would spend so much money on a recipe only to have to throw it out. All the ingredients I had to purchase only came out to $7 or $8, but still, I might as well have eaten one meal out instead of pouring four servings worth of soup into the trash.
If you try this recipe, proceed with caution. Might I suggest a food processor for pureeing instead of a standard blender.
I had to purchase most of the ingredients specifically for the soup, as I don't keep my pantry stocked for occasions like this at all. I went out of my way to travel to Whole Foods for the aged white cheddar (two different Krogers did not have ANY aged cheeses in their deli department). I bought bakery-prepared bread to dip in the soup. Prep started out pretty normal for me. I had slight difficulty with the onion chopping, as always, although I didn't tear up terribly bad. My house did smell like onions until I took out the trash a couple days later, and in fact my cutting board still reeks, but that will eventually dissipate. Also, when it came time to shred the cheese, I basically just had to shave it, as I do not own a grater and wasn't about to buy one just for one recipe.
Everything went fairly smoothly as I began cooking the soup mixture. It smelled amazing.
Now, this is where the project went wrong. I managed to pour the steaming hot soup into my blender without spilling much. Maybe I should have done this blender thing differently. After all, the recipe does mention something about a stick blender (I have no idea what that is.) I turned the blender on and immediately the lid buckled and some liquid escaped. Okay, no big deal. I turned off the blender and readjusted the lid and tried again, this time placing a towel over the lid to absorb any liquid that might get out. I turned the blender on and soup sprayed EVERYWHERE. It wasn't until the blender was off and I had lifted the towel that I realized why. The cap portion of the lid had fallen all the way through the center and into the blender. I unplugged the blender and poured everything back into the pot. This is what the cap looked like when I fished it out of the soup.
I went ahead and added the cheese and milk to the soup mixture and fished out the plastic I could find, but unfortunately, when I tried to eat a small bowl of the soup I still found several shavings. I decided it wasn't worth the digging and just tossed the soup after letting it cool. I was very disappointed in the inability of my blender (which I rarely use) to hold up under pressure. I have yet to decide whether I will try this recipe again. The most disappointing part of this whole thing was the money I spent on the cheese alone. I can always use cheese, I suppose. I just never thought I would spend so much money on a recipe only to have to throw it out. All the ingredients I had to purchase only came out to $7 or $8, but still, I might as well have eaten one meal out instead of pouring four servings worth of soup into the trash.
If you try this recipe, proceed with caution. Might I suggest a food processor for pureeing instead of a standard blender.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
presented without comment
"Hello in There"
written and originally recorded by John Prine
We had an apartment in the city.
Me and my husband liked living there.
It's been years since the kids have grown,
a life of their own, left us alone.
John and Linda live in Omaha.
Joe is somewhere on the road.
We lost Davy in the Korean war.
I still don't know what for, don't matter any more.
You know that old trees just grow stronger,
and old rivers grow wilder every day,
but old people, they just grow lonesome
waiting for someone to say,
"Hello in there. Hello"
Me and my husband, we don't talk much anymore.
He sits and stares through the backdoor screen.
And all the news just repeats itself
like some forgotten dream
that we've both seen.
Someday I'll go and call up Judy.
We worked together at the factory.
Ah, but what would I say when she asks what's new?
Say, "Nothing, what's with you?
Nothing much to do."
You know that old trees just grow stronger,
and old rivers grow wilder every day,
ah, but, but old people, they just grow lonesome
waiting for someone to say,
"Hello in There. Hello."
So if you're walking down the street sometime
and you should spot some hollow ancient eyes,
don't you pass them by and stare
as if you didn't care.
Say, "Hello in there. Hello."
written and originally recorded by John Prine
We had an apartment in the city.
Me and my husband liked living there.
It's been years since the kids have grown,
a life of their own, left us alone.
John and Linda live in Omaha.
Joe is somewhere on the road.
We lost Davy in the Korean war.
I still don't know what for, don't matter any more.
You know that old trees just grow stronger,
and old rivers grow wilder every day,
but old people, they just grow lonesome
waiting for someone to say,
"Hello in there. Hello"
Me and my husband, we don't talk much anymore.
He sits and stares through the backdoor screen.
And all the news just repeats itself
like some forgotten dream
that we've both seen.
Someday I'll go and call up Judy.
We worked together at the factory.
Ah, but what would I say when she asks what's new?
Say, "Nothing, what's with you?
Nothing much to do."
You know that old trees just grow stronger,
and old rivers grow wilder every day,
ah, but, but old people, they just grow lonesome
waiting for someone to say,
"Hello in There. Hello."
So if you're walking down the street sometime
and you should spot some hollow ancient eyes,
don't you pass them by and stare
as if you didn't care.
Say, "Hello in there. Hello."
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wow. I knew it had been a while since I posted, but I didn't realize it had been like six weeks.
I haven't been doing much writing lately, or working out, or experimenting with recipes from Pinterest. I haven't done a lot of anything at all, to be honest. My evenings are mostly spent lying on the couch in front of my TV after work. I had been feeling depressed and fat, and just generally unmotivated. I've also had some money stresses lately, so things have been very dull in my life. But I'm working on it. I've been trying to adjust my attitude at work. There have been a lot of changes that haven't necessarily been great, so I've been coping with that. I traded in my wrecked Corolla for a newer one, only to discover the registration on the original one had been cancelled and I owed $700 in taxes on it as well, since when I financed it back in the spring, the bank failed to tack on any sales tax. I was fit to be tied over that for several weeks, but it's basically all been straightened out at this point and I've managed to move on. I've been trying to get back into a workout routine again over the last two weeks, but with winter approaching, I question whether my motivation will hold up. This is how the slacking off started last winter. I just didn't want to leave my warm apartment to go exercise, so I stored up some fat over the winter and just never really got back into the habit.
The babies are turning one here soon, so I have birthday planning to look forward to, which will naturally be offset by the horror that is Christmas. But it will be fun, with them having their first real Christmas and watching them open gifts.
I want to say I'll try to blog more, but I don't want to do it without anything to say, so I'll save my next entry for something exciting, if anything exciting ever happens to me again.
I haven't been doing much writing lately, or working out, or experimenting with recipes from Pinterest. I haven't done a lot of anything at all, to be honest. My evenings are mostly spent lying on the couch in front of my TV after work. I had been feeling depressed and fat, and just generally unmotivated. I've also had some money stresses lately, so things have been very dull in my life. But I'm working on it. I've been trying to adjust my attitude at work. There have been a lot of changes that haven't necessarily been great, so I've been coping with that. I traded in my wrecked Corolla for a newer one, only to discover the registration on the original one had been cancelled and I owed $700 in taxes on it as well, since when I financed it back in the spring, the bank failed to tack on any sales tax. I was fit to be tied over that for several weeks, but it's basically all been straightened out at this point and I've managed to move on. I've been trying to get back into a workout routine again over the last two weeks, but with winter approaching, I question whether my motivation will hold up. This is how the slacking off started last winter. I just didn't want to leave my warm apartment to go exercise, so I stored up some fat over the winter and just never really got back into the habit.
The babies are turning one here soon, so I have birthday planning to look forward to, which will naturally be offset by the horror that is Christmas. But it will be fun, with them having their first real Christmas and watching them open gifts.
I want to say I'll try to blog more, but I don't want to do it without anything to say, so I'll save my next entry for something exciting, if anything exciting ever happens to me again.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Makeshift Foodie Project
This week I also decided to try to make some onion rings, as I had purchased an onion at the grocery for the pizza casserole but opted not to use it once I re-worked the recipe. I've used eggs in the past to help coat things, so I thought a little flour seasoned with salt and pepper would coat the onions sufficiently.
I hate cutting onions. I worked at a ballpark concession stand one summer and had to cut onions almost every day. I could never do it without my eyes burning immensely, so I thought this time I'd try some no-cry tips for cutting onions. I used the overhead fan on my oven, burned a candle next to the cutting board to help absorb some of the fumes, and I also rinsed the onion multiple times in hot water while slicing it. I did all this while breathing through my mouth instead of my nose. I still had some tears and burning in my eyes by the end, although it wasn't near the experience I usually have. I tried. The real problem I ran into was my laziness. I only wanted to have to put the rings in the oven one time, so I cooked multiple rings together until my tray was full. See?
This turned out to be not such a great idea. The rings in the center of larger rings didn't get brown enough, while the thinner ones were dangerously close to burning by the time I was done. I think I had the oven on 425 still, as I did these the same day I cooked the potato. I may have bumped it down to 400. Here's the finished product:
The onions themselves were done enough, so I had no problems there. However, I would not recommend coating with mere flour. All I could taste was onion and flour. They didn't have that great crispy taste that fried restaurant rings tend to have. They certainly weren't terrible, but they could have been far better. If I attempt this again, I will certainly try with a different coating or batter.
I hate cutting onions. I worked at a ballpark concession stand one summer and had to cut onions almost every day. I could never do it without my eyes burning immensely, so I thought this time I'd try some no-cry tips for cutting onions. I used the overhead fan on my oven, burned a candle next to the cutting board to help absorb some of the fumes, and I also rinsed the onion multiple times in hot water while slicing it. I did all this while breathing through my mouth instead of my nose. I still had some tears and burning in my eyes by the end, although it wasn't near the experience I usually have. I tried. The real problem I ran into was my laziness. I only wanted to have to put the rings in the oven one time, so I cooked multiple rings together until my tray was full. See?
This turned out to be not such a great idea. The rings in the center of larger rings didn't get brown enough, while the thinner ones were dangerously close to burning by the time I was done. I think I had the oven on 425 still, as I did these the same day I cooked the potato. I may have bumped it down to 400. Here's the finished product:
The onions themselves were done enough, so I had no problems there. However, I would not recommend coating with mere flour. All I could taste was onion and flour. They didn't have that great crispy taste that fried restaurant rings tend to have. They certainly weren't terrible, but they could have been far better. If I attempt this again, I will certainly try with a different coating or batter.
Pinterest Project: More Foodie Ventures
I mentioned my newfound fascination with Pinterest in my last post. I've found several recipes on there, but there are a lot I haven't tried due to the fact that I'm only one person, and cooking for one is a bitch. It's easy to make casseroles and large dishes, but I have to eat on them for so long that by the time I'm done, I am so sick of whatever I prepared that I won't eat it again for months. This happened last week with the dish I posted about, the pizza casserole. It was delicious, but by the second day of eating two meals worth of this, I was over it. Fortunately, I was able to share a serving with a friend of mine who thoroughly complimented me.
I also mentioned last time that I was looking for avocado recipes. I decided to go with an avocado-banana smoothie recipe that I found online. This was decent, but it was a little too thick and a little too heavy on the banana flavor for my taste, so I'm still looking to expand on this avocado trend.
One foodie project I tried this past week was one I had spotted a while ago but just hadn't attempted yet. Another was one I stumbled upon and tried almost immediately after discovering. The first was a twist on the baked potato. Here's the photo:
The instructions were to cut thin slices in a whole potato, almost all the way through but not quite. (As you can see, the one in the picture also contains chives.) Drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, sprinkle some parmesan on top, and bake at 425 for 45 minutes. I had a pretty simple time cutting through the potato.
I didn't have any parmesan, so I decided to use some shredded mozarella I had left over from the pizza casserole. Knowing how cheese behaves in the oven, I waited until the potato was almost done before throwing some mozarella on there. It still browned a little more than I intended, but it tasted fine. I didn't have to leave the potato in for but about 35 minutes. It came out like this:
The next thing I tried was a "mug cake", which in this instance was more like a mug cookie. It was ingredients for a single chocolate chip cookie dough cake mixed in a coffee mug and cooked in the microwave. It only took a minute, minute and a half and the clean-up was amazing.
Click here for the link. As you can see, I did not use chocolate chips, but I did have part of a dark chocolate bar on hand, so I broke that up into small pieces and used that instead of the chips.
Ta-da! All that was left was to top with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and I was good to go.
The first few bites while the cookie was still warm were quite delicious. I'm not sure if the ice cream softened it up or what, but once I got further down the cookie/cake was just too spongy and chewy for my taste, so I threw the rest of it out. But I was proud of myself for having the gumption to try something like this. And all in all, it was another successful foodie project - successful as in it didn't catch fire or taste like shit.
I also mentioned last time that I was looking for avocado recipes. I decided to go with an avocado-banana smoothie recipe that I found online. This was decent, but it was a little too thick and a little too heavy on the banana flavor for my taste, so I'm still looking to expand on this avocado trend.
One foodie project I tried this past week was one I had spotted a while ago but just hadn't attempted yet. Another was one I stumbled upon and tried almost immediately after discovering. The first was a twist on the baked potato. Here's the photo:
The instructions were to cut thin slices in a whole potato, almost all the way through but not quite. (As you can see, the one in the picture also contains chives.) Drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, sprinkle some parmesan on top, and bake at 425 for 45 minutes. I had a pretty simple time cutting through the potato.
I didn't have any parmesan, so I decided to use some shredded mozarella I had left over from the pizza casserole. Knowing how cheese behaves in the oven, I waited until the potato was almost done before throwing some mozarella on there. It still browned a little more than I intended, but it tasted fine. I didn't have to leave the potato in for but about 35 minutes. It came out like this:
The next thing I tried was a "mug cake", which in this instance was more like a mug cookie. It was ingredients for a single chocolate chip cookie dough cake mixed in a coffee mug and cooked in the microwave. It only took a minute, minute and a half and the clean-up was amazing.
Click here for the link. As you can see, I did not use chocolate chips, but I did have part of a dark chocolate bar on hand, so I broke that up into small pieces and used that instead of the chips.
Ta-da! All that was left was to top with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and I was good to go.
The first few bites while the cookie was still warm were quite delicious. I'm not sure if the ice cream softened it up or what, but once I got further down the cookie/cake was just too spongy and chewy for my taste, so I threw the rest of it out. But I was proud of myself for having the gumption to try something like this. And all in all, it was another successful foodie project - successful as in it didn't catch fire or taste like shit.
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