I'd like to thank the Academy.

You are not going to believe this, but I did not watch the Golden Globes this year.

I used to follow the Hollywood awards season like nobody's business. I would watch the E! pre-shows all day leading up to the awards ceremonies. The Golden Globes and Oscars especially, but often the Emmys and Grammys as well. (Never got into the Tonys, as I was not very familiar with current Broadway plays, and still don't stay terribly well-informed.) But being without cable has really messed with my awards traditions. In fact, I was unsure of how I was going to watch the Globes anyway, but I forgot about them until about an hour in and by that point it seemed irrelevant. I mean, the whole reason for watching is to see the gowns, right?

Being as how at this point in my life I have basically given up on any dreams I ever had of being famous/semi-famous, I suppose now is as good a time as any to compose my useless Academy Award acceptance speech.

"Wow. I know people say all the time that they have dreamt of this moment since they were a kid, but I really have. I really have, I swear. Ask my mom and she'll tell you. I'll give you her phone number after the show. You can find me in the bathroom. I'm talking to you, Clooney.

Wow, okay, focus. I have to thank my family, especially my parents, who have done a lot to help me out over the years. I have to credit the love of my life, Bette Midler, who has made me want to be a better, more talented person. Thanks to my co-stars, director, and all the writers involved with *insert project name here*. Thanks to the Academy. Most importantly, I have to thank myself, without whom none of this would be possible. I have been my rock and my inspiration for so many years. Thanks, me! Oh, and thanks to Streep for not being nominated this year! Goodnight!"

Long time. Long time no see, huh?

I felt bad for slacking on my posts, until I logged onto Blogger to see that none of the blogs I currently follow have been updated in at least two months. Glad to see I'm not the only lazy DOB out there. (DOB - daughter of a bitch)

I have been busy almost constantly for the last six weeks. I've been driving back and forth from Lexington to Campbellsville, or Lexington to Lousiville, or any combination of those locales, a lot recently so I feel like I've hardly had time for myself. My nieces are still in the hospital but are doing great. They still receive some milk via feeding tube, so they can't come home until they're able to take 100% of their milk by bottle, but they are progressing nicely in this area. They've both also put on over a pound since birth and should both hopefully be a little over four pounds when they come home, which may or may not be at the same time.

We have all been incredibly blessed over the last six weeks to receive so much love, support, and prayers from people who will never really even be involved in the girls' lives. It's amazing how small communities pull together in times of crisis.

This past weekend was stressful. We had finally rescheduled the baby shower for Saturday the 14th, and so in order to get down there and start preparing for that, I went to Campbellsville after work Thursday evening. Unfortunately the road conditions were not good and my usual hour-and-a-half trip was stretched out to 2 hours and 20 minutes. It was agony and made me never want to get in a car again. But the baby shower went well, and I got to spend quite a bit of time at the hospital during the day on Friday, so all in all I would say it was a good weekend. I am exhausted, though, and I feel like this day of work has gone on forever.

Life's still throwing curveballs.

Well, I am an aunt now!

My sister was due on February 23rd, but had to have an emergency Caeserean on December 2nd. The girls were 12 weeks early and seem to be doing fine now. They are both off of ventilators and able to have milk. Let me just say it has been a stressful few days! We were supposed to have their baby shower on the 3rd, so needless to say that will have to be rescheduled. I guess we can have a "Welcome Home" party once they get back from the hospital.

I spent four days in and out of the hospital with my sister, so I am pretty pooped. It's crazy how you have a milestone come in your life that you have thought out and imagined how it will be in your head, and then it turns out completely differently. Things could have ended up so much worse.

If 1 out of every 10 men is gay, and 95% of all straight men are either idiots, jerks, or married (and these categories are not all inclusive), then that leaves less than 5% of the male population over the entire globe for me to choose from as a possible mate.

I guess I will be alone.

Patti LaBelle lawsuit

Has anybody else seen this shit?

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/patti-labelle-sued-west-point-cadet-houston-airport/story?id=13752701

Doesn't look like an "unprovoked" attack to me.

Bah humbug!

I have a feeling my posts will become more and more scarce after the holidays and the arrival of my nieces than they already are. Nobody really reads this blog anyway, not but a handful of people, and there are some people that would read it if they knew about it - but those are people that I'd rather not have knowing it exists. My private thoughts, and even my thoughts that I share out in Blog World, are not thoughts that many people I know would appreciate very much. This is mostly because these are thoughts they wouldn't understand or agree with. As technologically advance as our culture is, and as tapped in to society as most people in my generation tend to be, there are still a lot of judgmental and intolerant people out there.

I love my family dearly, but there are members of my extended family that I have different philosophies than. I mean, I know that's going to happen. I get it. But how can people brought up in the same belief system with the same general values have such different ideas about things?

I am so sick of the Christmas holiday and its commercialization. When a child cries because they didn't get as many gifts as their cousin/sibling, or when adults can't NOT buy gifts for one another in financial hardship for fear of ruining the "Christmas experience" for their child, things have gone entirely too far. When I was a kid, we enjoyed just getting together with one another for Christmas. I always got gifts that I wanted/liked, and my parents had taught my sister and myself how to appreciate the finer things in life. We didn't get gifts "just because"; my parents were too busy making sure we had clean, intact clothing on our backs and food in our bellies. I didn't need the newest gifts or the most advanced gifts, because I knew how to use my imagination with my toys. My sister and I played with dolls and created stories for them. Every week we wrote our own Barbie soap operas. We dressed up and pretended to be literary/film characters. Sure, we occassionally played video games, but they did not consume us. As a child, I loved to read. How many kids these days actually pick up books when it's not required of them?

I never wanted to be one of those "old fogeys" who reminisced about the "good ol' days", but I just cannot understand, as a twenty-something who both knows how to use technology and how to be creative, how things have changed so drastically since my childhood. Many people my age claim they do not want to bring children into this world because of all of the bad things in it. On the contrary, I want to bring children into this world in order to help bring something good back. I cannot wait to instill the values I find important in my children, in hopes that they will then pass on the same values into theirs. I may disagree with my parents on a lot, but they taught me how to appreciate what I have and how to work hard, and those are values I will never wish I didn't have.

And baby makes 22.

On Today this morning, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar announced that they are expecting their 20th kid in March.

Michelle is 45 years old.

I don't care how much you love children. What these people are doing is crazy. It's unsafe. This woman is putting her life at risk all because she's going to let God dictate the number of children she has. Jesus, woman. If you're not going to be on birth control, at least make your husband pull out!



Click here to watch the foolery.