introspection

I guess I need to network more so I can get more blog/Twitter followers. So much for (foolishly, of course) hoping to get a book deal out of my amusing ramblings. Well, I never really thought that would happen, but it would be nice to get noticed for my writing.

I went to King's Island on Sunday on a work-sponsored trip. I had a pleasant time. Got to spend some time talking to @verticalQ and invited Leticia, who I hadn't seen since October. It's funny, you always see movies where people hang out with their old college buddies even when they're all married. It's like that's the group of friends that stick with you, because you're not necessarily just friends because circumstance brought you together. But in my personal experience, the truest friends I have are the ones I still have from high school. Granted, I don't spend very much time with them, but I live in a different city than one and a different state than another, so that makes it harder. When push comes to shove, though, these are the friends I still trust the most. It's cool to think back on younger days with friends you actually knew then, because you can all reflect on how you've changed. Even friends I've had since college have noticed a difference in my attitudes, behaviors, and maturity over that span of time.

When I was in high school, I used to look at the sex-obsessed, immature, nonambitious kids that I knew and think, "I am so lucky that I know who I am." I wouldn't say I felt I was better than these people (although now I certainly do), but I just felt sorry for them, like they were lacking something that I had probably not already achieved but had been born with: a strong sense of self. And I really did know who I was, but what I didn't know was that I was still going to change. Back then, I thought that knowing who I was meant that I was set, but now I realize that changing is part of life. It's almost always circumstance that changes you. You definitely can't do it of your own volition, not without years and years of hard work. Even then, you're most likely changing a behavior. You can't change your opinions or beliefs or expectations willingly; it just happens over time. Maybe I didn't know who I was in high school. Maybe I found myself later. But now, even though I know more about myself than I ever have, I still don't know what it is I want out of my life. I know I want to be deeply loved, and I want to be remembered, but the ways I will achieve these things is still unclear to me.

I know I'm not old, but I am approaching 25, and it has made me very introspective. It's funny though: ten years ago I thought I would be married with at least one child by now. But here I am, with no kids and marriage likely still pretty far off. I'm enjoying my twenties though, and I am so glad I have all of this time to just be me before having to worry about caring for anyone else. My cat is enough of a commitment for me for now.

inspiration

I recently read a comment in response to one of Carrie Fisher's blogs that said that you don't need inspiration to blog. Wrong! If I didn't need inspiration to write, I would sit in front of a computer for hours a day and just vomit words. I guess that could be how some people operate, which would explain a lot about Perez Hilton. (I used to love his website, but my disdain for him grows more and more with each passing week thanks to his ill spelling and hypocrisy.) For me, blogging is writing in it's most stripped down and vulnerable form. If I don't blog with inspiration, then my posts have no meaning, just sound like drivel, and do not portray my sharp wit and intelligence. Why on earth would I do something that did not serve to make me look like a better person than others? Egotistical much?

Okay, enough of my "humor". So, in the spirit of not having to be inspired to write, I am going to reach over, turn on my iPod, and let the first song that plays randomly lead me to some sort of topic.

"I Shall Be Released" - Bette Midler
Honestly, first was actually some Patsy Cline song, but I got distracted by something work-related and missed almost the entire song because I didn't press pause. Bob Dylan wrote this song, and strangely enough we have been talking about Dylan at work today, wondering how many awards he's won. I forgot that he won an Oscar for Best Original Song way back in 2000, but once we discussed it, I did vaguely remember the performance. I highly respect Bob Dylan as a songwriter and cannot deny the vast contributions he's made to the music industry. That being said, I wish I never had to hear him or look at him ever again. I hate his voice, and he is one ugly, crazy-looking mofo. I believe 'fros on men can be superhot. Case in point, Lindsey Buckingham, especially circa 1977. But Dylan has this thin, frizzed out 'fro that just reminds me way too much of Phil Spector. (Read any quotes from his wife recently? She's just as batshit crazy as he is.) Like I said though, the man writes great songs. I just find his voice to be very grating. As a general rule, I don't like male singers anyway. This could be in large part because I can't identify with them or, usually, sing along with their songs. When I say I can't identify with them, I don't mean because they sing about losing their woman. I mean, most males sing/rap about partyin' in "da club", or making love in "dis club", or other things that I find have nothing to do with the general human condition. I guess sex does, in its way, but having sex in the bathroom of a club? That's not something that everyone goes through. Everyone loves, loses love, wants love, or is betrayed by someone they love. Those are songs I can get behind, and those are songs that are sung most often by women. Of course, I just generally think women are better anyway. They're smarter, prettier, better at multi-tasking, more responsible, better drivers, and less likely to cheat.

Oh, that one came from nowhere. Anyway, back to Bob Dylan. In conclusion, ugly, but great with words.

Actually, I guess I'm done. Went off the cuff there for quite a bit though, huh?

annoyances

Why do people keep using the word "tween" incorrectly? Tweens are "in-betweeners" transitioning from childhood into the teenage years. Someone over 13 cannot be a tween because they are a teen. How hard is that to understand?

These movie mash-up posters from Celebuzz are just stoopid. The only ones that are any good are the Up in the Air posters, and most of the ones involving Avatar don't make any sense because they don't use Avatar in the title. (Pandora Twilight and Star Trek? Please.)

Okay, enough venting I suppose. Hey, I sold several of my I Love Lucy things today, which I'm pretty excited about. I'll be able to get rid of some things plus I may not have to borrow money from anyone to pay my income tax. Yay!

What a beautiful day!

It has now been over a week since the Fleetwood Mac show. Sad.

This weekend has been interesting. I was unexpectedly left with no plans for the entire weekend, so Friday after work I watched Slumdog Millionaire (which was good but not AMAZING like everyone has been saying) and then went to Buffalo Wild Wings with Chris and Andrew. I hadn't been there in a while, so that was cool. Saturday morning I woke up on my own at like 9:30, so I decided to drive to Campbellsville because I had no one to hang out with at all that day and I didn't feel like sitting around the house bored all day. I didn't get in until like 2, then picked my sister up from work at 3 and we went to E-town for a few hours. We ate at Steak'n'Shake and just went to a few stores. Neither of us really had anything we wanted to buy or money to spend, so we were just hanging out. I went to my grandma's house for a late supper after that. So yesterday was cool. I got to enjoy the nice weather being out and about like that, saw all my grandparents for a little bit, and got to see a few of the cousins. I came back up here last night mainly just because I didn't want to have to get up and go to church in the morning. I got a couple movies from Redbox before I came home and watched Role Models last night before I went to bed. This morning I slept until like 11:30 and literally did nothing for two hours. Jon-Michael and I went to a late lunch at Cheddar's around 2, and after that I just did some running around. I bought a new wallet and a poster frame for my Fleetwood Mac poster that I'm going to put above my bar. Most importantly, I bought two patio chairs. They're not snazzy nor all that comfy (I plan on buying cushions after I get paid again) but now I can sit out on my balcony with a guest and enjoy the lovely weather, which is what I have been doing for the last hour and a half (minus the guest). Blogging on my balcony in the sunshine. It's quite nice.